last night was a prime example of why i need to just build a log cabin in the woods and shun the rest of the planet until my time of death.
Like i’ve done enough drugs(this morning) to have a pretty healthy sense of perspective. I can usually feel what other people are thinking or feeling just by judging. I’m not saying i can read minds but i can usually tell how other people are feeling by how they act and what they say.
To prove this, im going to write about this double “date” we went on last night from the viewpoint of toad’s date. We’ll call her Sue. Sue and her friend…we’ll call her Tori. Why not, it’s my fucking site. Anyway, Sue and Tori show up and Sue’s date, toad, is wearing green army cargo pants and blazing a crackhore.com shirt. Tori declares she is hungry so we decide to go out to eat. I ask ian if i should change clothes and ian turns to me and says “toad, you don’t have to change for anyone”.
Now have you ever seen a snowball roll down a hill and turn into a huge boulder at the bottom? Well that one phrase was the snowball.
From that moment on a demon came out that usually only comes out once in a while. Anyway, toad being the LEAST sober person in the room, has to drive. I still don’t know why toad was driving but the story goes on. We go out to eat, Tori’s boyfriend calls in the middle, she lies and says she’s with Dave and Ilan. We both start laughing and asking which one is Ilan, or whoever you spell it, we finish our food and go drinking.
I only remember the huge mug of beer i had the last bar. We get home, more bluriness, Sue leaves, gets pulled over like less then a block away from the apartment, still not sure what happened with that. I was laying in bed really drunk laughing that that poor girl got pulled over when she could have been laying in bed with me. Or maybe it was better she got pulled over, we’re trying to write this from another perspective….
Here is the away message i found in my clipboard this morning…gotta post it. Tells you a little about my preperation for going out.
SCOUTmasterTOAD: ugh their here!
SCOUTmasterTOAD: no more aim
SCOUTmasterTOAD: *turns off gin and juice off repeat*”