Toad Returns To CBHS

I went back to my highschool today after 6 years. For those of you are not familar with my highschool experience, i’ll give youa brief paragraph to try to sum it up.

i went to CBHS, which stands for Christian Brothers High School. Yeah it gets worse. CBHS prides itself on not having the normal diversions most schools have, mainly, girls. Yeah. Explains a lot huh? The antisocial, alcoholism, drug addictions, rape fantasies, can all be traced back to that fucking school.

They are having a pep rally. The cheerleaders, who are from the all girl schools are there. They look just as tasty as they did 6 years ago. One of the cheerleaders looks over and smiles. WHY DIDN’T YOU SMILE AT ME 6 YEARS AGO. MAYBE THEN I WOULDN’T BE DEMANDING MY GIRLFRIEND PUT ON A SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT AND PRETEND TO FIGHT BACK. *cough*straightens tie*

Anyway, I walked around, blown away at how much nicer the place is. Huge aquarium, sky light in library, new halls. I walk into the computer lab and see my old computer teacher. She looks up briefly and says to have a seat anywhere since i’m wearing a dress shirt and tie. She thinks i’m a student. Wtf.

I laugh and ask her if she remembers me. She looks for a second and says “oh wow yeah you havn’t changed a bit!” I ask her if she remembers kicking me out of class for viewing my website(this website). She does.


She asks me how i’m doing. I tell her that i’m out on parole and wanted to come check out the school. Her jaw drops. I turn to the class and say “Yeah kids, no matter how much money they offer, don’t swallow condoms full of drugs and try to cross the border.” Everyone has this blank look as they probably imagine me chowing down on condoms full of smack. I laugh and say “just kidding, i run a few porn sites, it pays the bills”. Teacher still not happy with my humor.


I walk to the cafeteria and as i’m walking back to my car, some woman, who i don’t remember working there, comes up and starts talking to me. She comments on my toothpick in my mouth and how i should have taken it out before i went to talk with the brothers. I tell her what are they doing to do, suspend me?

Some things never fucking change.