i subscribe to the bill hicks philosphy of how our goverment works.
I’ll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. ‘I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.’ ‘I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.’ ‘Hey, wait a minute, there’s one guy holding out both puppets!’

It doesn’t fucking matter if you vote for obama or mccain, nothing is changing. It still shows a lot about who someone is based on how strongly they feel about politics.

For example, this weekend i saw lots of hot chicks wearing obama shirts. He’s like the new bill clinton, chicks just love him, love buying his shirt, love promoting whatever it is he promotes. It’s cute, i’m not gonna not date a chick cuz she believes in this fake ass system of goverment we have, it’s cool she believes that anyone can fucking help us now.

I’ll date a chick who is into Obama and wants a change for the future. Yeah it’s fucking broad but at least it’s optimistic, that’s cool…i don’t subscribe to it but whatever.

anywa,y i met a girl a few weeks ago at a bar and saw her again last night. really cool girl, really cute, she sits down next to me and we talk, etc. we get along fairly well, as well as any woman does with me when im drinking whiskey….i make a joke about how i want to get a mccain/palin sign for my yard just to piss everyone off in my neighberhood…the irony of the drunken pothead webdesigner who spends his days in hawaiian and camo, nin blaring, with his 2 dozen mccain palin signs…just disinformation on a whole other level….really embrazen the obama supporters in uptown nola.

she says “oh wow heh imma vote for mccain” and i just get shut down. i don’t know what to say…i think about it almost like religion, it’s something she picked up from her family and just never let it go…vote republican, hate black people…whatever…i guess what threw me off was this chick is really good friends with 2 really gay friends of mine, i guess she’s just complex.

i think it was a double punch of someone thinking their vote counted and if it did count they’d choose the old dude who is about to die and the insane soccer mom…

the only reason i want obama to win is because the rest of the planet will say:

“okay cool, they fucked up and accidently elected bush, now they have this black dude obama who all the rednecks say is muslim but he’s not but has a muslim name but at least they have pulled themselves out of the drunken downward spiral of white dudes, our war of terrorism has been won”

i also love that once we have a cool black president it’ll kill some of the racism in america…like look, white doods have treated you like shit forever but we have a black president and now you can see how level the playing field is? it’s racist to say it but we need a black president.  he could be the worst president ever  but the US is in a PR nightmare and i think we need a cool black dude to help us out?

i don’t fucking trust wihte people because i know what i do on a daily basis. we are evil. read books.

funny to think this started out with “why i am having trouble being attracted to a republican” and it turns into “why i hate everyone who votes”

so weird

i forgot about to write about this but last saturday at the bulldog i saw someone i recognized from the internet. it was really creepy(for her too), i knew exactly who she was…had seen her on hotornot and actually had replied to one of her posts on craigslist…i friended her on myspace too..(not going to put the link in this post)…anyway, ive never actaully had a conversation with her, just weird bumping into her on 3 dating sites…must be as lonely as me…

it sucks because she’s with this huge guy and i’m drunk. i announce to the group of people i’m with about how i know her so suddenly we have 8 people staring at her…she notices and is now like “what the fuck is that table staring at me for”…i was waiting for a fight…i want to send her a message on myspace saying “hey think i saw you?” but that sounds almost as creepy as writing about it on crackhore 😀

voodoo day 2

last night was the big night, lil wayne, thievery corporation, mars volta and nin….

we get there and people are just flowing in, no one is getting pat down or anything. which considering i have a flask and other things, is a huge relief to me. once we get in and get setup for lil wayne i tell wes i’m a little concerned of the lack of security…i mean yeah im sneaking a flask in, only going to do harm to myself and maybe some other people but i just can imagine people sneaking in a lot things that are a lot more harmful…


lil wayne was okay, im convinced studio rap music just doesn’t work in festival situations, just doesn’t work….

after lil wayne i went backstage for a while, ate dinner and watched thievery corp on the jumo screen…wes and i decided to get as close to the stage as possible for mars volta, got pretty close…it was funny seeing a band like mars volta, who’s songs usually tend to be in the double digit minute wise, so they basically played like 4 songs…including a version of the goliath that seemed to go on forever…it was insane, cedric was climbing into the crowd, wrapping the microphone cord around a fan…after he climbed up back onto the stage he continued to toss things around, ruled.

after mars volta i went back to the vip area….i snuck back into the tent i got kicked out of last night, grabbed a plastic cup and fill it with ice and walk out. i run into another client who is standing a table with his girlfriend…this guy always sees me when i’m at my worst…anyway, i walk up and make small talk with him when i notice a unopened bottle of tonic water, just sitting on the table. i ask if it is theirs, they say no…it was there when came up…it’s sealed but they keep joking about it being GHB…i think it’s too good of concidence and i take it and mix it with my gin and the stolen ice and cup.  i always look at music festivals like MMO’s…you walk around stealing, finding and sometimes killing.

now in the VIP area there are all these tents as i mentioned before, all of them ‘private’…i go into the axe body spray tent which is pretty much open to the public…i sit down on one of the couches, i take out my flask, camera, sunglasses and a empty orange pill bottle. i lay it all out on the coffee table and i ask the only male in the room if he will take a picture of me. he gets furious, says no and that i need to get out immediately. so funny, collecting my stuff, like “fine i see how it is, this just fucking racism”, i grab a brownie off the table and walk out, brownie crumbs falling into my beer as i proudly eat it in front of them.

i rejoin wes and get ready for NIN…it’s hard to put into words how incredible his set was…it was a great mixture of old stuff, stuff from ghosts and the slip, combined with the most amazing light show ever. they had these LED curtains that put on a crazy light show. i really couldn’t believe how great it was to hear stuff of ghosts live…i listen to that album religiously and hearing it live was just incredible…

other highlights were when they played the great destroyer and the good soldier…i just can’t get over how ive been listening/seeing nine inch nails for a little over a decade and each show is better then the last….i had very low expectations for some reason…


okay today was the first day of voodoofest…wes, faschi and i ride out there and park in the vip parking which actually was a huge hassle…

we get in and split ways while wes buys a ticket and i head to check out the vip lounge. i walk in and order a beer and sit down in one of the many tents full of leather furniture and food in some of them.

i head out and watch wyclef which was pretty awful…it did give me time to do…other things. so i’m done smoking and the evil toad starts to come out. a group of what look like teenage girls are taking pictures. they take a picture of all their hands/wrists showing their wrist bands. i quickly put my hand in and they take the picture and ask why i have a black wrist band. i smile and tell them. they then do the classic “we’re at a festival picture” and they’re all grouped in. i sneak into a empty space and give a really weird smile right before they take the pic. gonna be so great being on her myspace page 😀

i msg bruce and meet up with him and vanessa in the bingo tent for the bingo show, which was pretty damn cool. afterwards vanessa shows me the bottle of gray goose she succesfully smuggled in(which i dont know how). she pours me a redbull and vodka and things get even more crazy.

i go back to the vip lounge and go into one of the tents. they have all this amazing food and now there are bottles of wine and vodka. i walk in with a big smile, grab some really good looking chicken, vegetables and get a bottle of water. i eat and kinda make small talk with the other people there. finally i throw my plate away and i ask the woman “is that vodka just free for everyone too?”

she goes “no this is actually a tent for the company that throws this event, do you not work for them?”

i smile and begin backing out of the tent with a huge smile and ease on out of the tent and head to see the reverend horton heat. great fucking show. they played a cover of black sabbath’s paranoid.

then stone temple pilots….which was fucking amazing. i live in a world of disappointment, nothing is ever as i really want it, but this show was exactly as bad ass as i hoped and prayed. every song was slowed down and just sounded awesome.

pussy and web sites

last night oliver and his wife picked me up and took me with them and a group to the mortuary haunted house on canal. i walked over to the shell station and bought a tall boy, some beef jerky and pistachios for dinner.  i consume my lovely dinner while we wait for the rest of the group.

we finally get into line and get up to the place to pay. these 2 little black girls, have to be in their early teens, are in front of us to pay. one of them is determined to get the other one to go but one is terrified, she just doesn’t want to go….the one that is scared, who’s name is “miesha” from what i gathered from the overherd conversation, finally pays the $20 and gets in the next line. ive been drinking for a while so when her and her friends get in line in front of us, i just slightly tickle miesha’s arm.

she screams and runs out of line into a corner of the house. i almost piss myself laughing and the group i’m with is tears laughing. i compose myself as much as i can and try to get her to come back in line, it’s $20, come on, it won’t be scary, i’ll be here for ya. the creepy white dude who just tickled you in line, yeah he’s there for ya. she refuses to move, i beg her, come on, still laughing, it’ll be okay, i’ll watch out for you. she refuses to move…the usher motions for our group to go in, she is still standing in the corner, totally freaked out.

we head into the haunted house and it’s pretty impressive. the women in the group are scared to death, random strangers grabbing ahold of me in fear. all of a sudden this really nice looking blonde in a bloody wedding dress comes out of no where.

i stand back like “oh snap, hey hows it going heh”, reach into my pocket and quickly pull out a business card. she stares at me like “umm wait what” then takes the card. i’ll update if she calls or e-mails, trust me.

as i said before, it’s a pretty impressive, very well decorated, lots of themes, very cool. at this point i’m pretty drunk so i’m dropping business cards left and right, on coffee tables, on potted plants, everwhere.

a good business man is always networking.

we get to this one area that has these chain link fences that form a little maze. they have all these super hot chicks pretending to be vampires. i stop walking and take a look at what we have here…i wave to my friends and say “hey im going to chill here for a sec, i’ll catch up” while this sexy vampire is about 2 inches from me, trying very hard to look sexy/scary. and doing a good job at the first part. it was like a strip club.

we go to the bulldog in mid city afterward and it’s packed with all kinds of yuppie scum. lots of metairie pussy with too much make up and all probably think palin is going to be a great vp. our group sits in the back and talks and drinks and talks and drinks. i start drinking whiskey out of the flask i brought, which always leads to great conversation.

i go pay our tab and the incredibly beautiful bartender asks after she brings me my check, what i design(my credit card has **** designs the business name). i quickly respond “web sites” and smile. she says she’s a realtor and needs a web site. i tell her to call me.

a huge dude standing at the bar says “oh shit you build web sites? hey will you take a look at our site and let me know what we need to do make it look better” and hands me a card. i finally get back to the group and they are like “dude what took you so long” and i just laugh.