ahh, i knew halloween was gonna be rough this year…i’ve developed this really insane sickness from the 3 days of anarchy during voodoofest…i haven’t been sleeping well, tuesday night i had this really intense nightmare…i can’t remember any of the details of course but something struck a deep fear in me…i woke up the next morning and my teeth were incredibly sore from grinding and clinching during what was the closest thing i’ve experienced to hell.

i think what scares me more is that all of it was constructed by my sleeping brain. i dunno if it was the roast beef, the few beers, etc but something came out of some hidden door and was like “oh hey, here is complete fear”.

maybe i’ve been working too much.

oh yeah, halloween, where was i. k, yeah so i’m fucking sick as hell, pretending like i’m not…went for a 4 mile run thursday…been out every night as usual…i decide i have to go out for halloween. no matter how bad i feel about everything, it’s time to move on. i put on my blue pants, red shirt and different shade of blue tie, and this weird ROTC jacket, all of which was bought at a thrift store a few days ago. what’s fucked up is i was buying all of it just because i liked it, not to wear all together as a costume. it’s hard to top the red dress from last year. i even pulled out the whig/hat but just figured it was too much.

hanging out at parties with wes is always weird since i really only know him and his roommate. drank a lot of whiskey and left.

i was supposed to go meet with someone about their web site today but it’s just not gonna happen…it’s too cold, i’m too sick and i want to work from home today. on saturday. while sick. at least i have whiskey.

the lady that wanted to meet with me…i want to write about this but i have trouble putting it into words. i’m sitting here all wacked out on coffee/etc on a friday morning. i get a random call from this lady who runs this hotel in a questionable area. she sounds super ecentric, like knows exactly what she wants but has no idea what that is. the best part is she has some guy on the phone with her too who is like her IT guy. he’s not saying shit while she’s asking this super crazy hilarious questions about web design and every once in a while i ask him a question and he answers. i can tell he’s feeling bad for me, some random call out of the blue from this insane woman who apparently has money or else he wouldn’t be there.

i called her this morning and just straight up told her i thought i was going to be feeling better but we gotta meet on monday. she brought up again how important it is to get this up and running before her new ad goes out.

i wish to satan i could post a link to the site. it’s seriously some 1993 called and they want their site back…if you wanna make a reservation, you gotta download their pdf and fax it in…i imagined myself download the pdf, opening it photoshop, putting in my info, opening my email fax program and sending it back…i gotta fix that for them..

like this web site shouldn’t even be online. it makes baby jesus cry. oh yeah the best part is she wants me to bring my laptop and make the changes to this site while she waits.

the story gets even better. i tell her i’ll do it.

i love challenges. if someone called me up and said “i want you to build a site but you have to be suspended from a rope upside down”

i’d be packing my bags.

i just gotta talk her into a redesign, it’s a sales meeting, i’m not going to actually update that piece of shit site. it’s a insult to you as a internet user. i’m going to ask her how much she wants to spend, up that by $100 and build that shit…it’s seriously become some weird crusade…i’m not realy even doing it because i enjoy it, i’m just doing it because it’s what i do.

god i wish i could post a link to their current site…

anyway, the real reason i was starting this post is because i miss her…i hope she’s not reading my site anymore but if you are, i’m sorry.

my self induced isolation is probably the answer…it’s no longer “should/can i be with her” to “i can’t be with anyone, lets listen to more NIN”

kinda fucked up…oh well, happy halloween!

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