I’m not sure how to write this post so i’m just going to get started and let it kinda fill itself in. My upstairs neighbor and her friend decided to surprise me when i came home from a night drinking by hiding in my bed. Only problem is i’m actually in that bed massaging my…she’s not a girlfriend but we’re on our 6th date(she’s on her way now)… so we’re i guess better friends then..not.
We went out to dinner and come back to my apartment for wine and whatever I’m allowed to get away with. I open the backdoor and let Marla out and leave the door cracked so she can get inside.
Now Kendra is beautiful, a perfect specimen of what I’m attracted to. We are very compatiable, especially sexually, she had a rough week and after dinner i told her I would rub her back. I really have to mention again just how beautiful Kendra is. She is the type of girl that I honestly think i deserve. Years after she has forgotten me I will remember how perfect she looks. Anyway, it’s a extremely romantic moment, i have candles let, i’m rubbing lotion into her beautiful back and shoulders. We’re both naked. I’m very aware she is naked and I’m very aware of this.(erection)
I hear footsteps. I hear them because I have no music playing so it registers instantly. Those are footsteps, in your apartment, at about 1am on a Saturday morning. There is a certain routine you’ve practiced, read about and are ready to deal with.
I’d like to say something at this point that this is new orleans. There are literally thousands of black people(and white people) who want to take my things, my white woman, my life, and my web hosting customers. I’ve never felt safe in this city and own guns for this exact moment.
I roll off of Kendra’s perfectly formed breasts and ass, pull the Remington 870 shotgun from underneath the bed. I slide a shell into the chamber and come around the corner of my bedroom and point the shotgun. Usually at this point when someone hears that sound they realize they might have broke into the wrong apartment.
I flash the light mounted on the shotgun and it’s Sarah and Alex, both completely drunk. They see me standing there, completely naked, pointing a loaded shotgun at them, yelling GET THE FUCK OUT. Kinda imagine american history x but with a shotgun instead of a handgun. And instead of niggers stealing my truck it’s fucking Sarah and Alex in my kitchen.
They both run from the apartment, I slam the door. I walk back, unload the shotgun and get back in bed trying to do a “so where were we”. We then have really intense sex…because i just almost shot 2 people trying to sneak into my fucking apartment.
I am pretty livid when i wake up but im trying to play it cool because i really like Kendra and just try to shake it off. There is a bottle of jack daniels(which im drinking right now) on my doorstep this morning when i walk Kendra out.
I’ve never came that close to ending another life. There have been close calls while driving and I’ve probably almost stabbed people walking home from karaoke but I’ve never pointed the shotgun at someone at this proximity with the intent to kill.
Everyone is alive and okay. Sarah and Alex learned a very important lesson that you should NEVER sneak into someone’s apartment. Especially when they own several fire arms and have a persecution complex. Alex also learned that i have a extremely big penis.
My instinct is to never to talk to Sarah or Alex again. I was extremely close to ending both of their lives. People have told me that I need to look at it in a lighter light, that I missed out on a 4thsome with all of them. It’s all about perspective i guess.