fast approaching hell

Actually i think i’m there now. There isn’t a single area of this existence that is even remotely considered..well. Work is a disaster,  personal life is a wreck. It’s just sad that i’m running out of time here and yet I have no idea what direction to turn.

The best revenge is living well and i’m not getting revenge on anyone anymore. Instead I’m just living in this prison of failure and bad mistakes. Surrounded by them and dancing in them. Everyone wants me to work for free. My home has been destroyed, nothing is the way i want it anymore. Now it’s the way everyone else wants it.

Fight or flight is a interesting thing. Fighting this just seems stupid at this point, don’t even want to fight it. Flight means packing and apartment hunting. The problem is i don’t even feel like either, just feel like giving up. Don’t even feel like picking up the pieces anymore.

Best part is this just keeps going. It’s not going to fix itself and i obviously can’t fix it. Just trapped. Can’t leave without a plan, can’t do anything without a plan. Need a plan, need one quickly. This…status…won’t last long.