Month: October 2020

I can’t stop trying to find someone to love me, just part of being a creature but there is a amazing feeling when anyone who was interested in you shudders away in fear all at once. Internet friends, real life lovers, everyone just goes “meh” and you stare at the yoga mat and this blog.

This post started about a hour ago when I realized I don’t have anything left to drink and I’m not going to buy anymore. I want to really fear this pain instead of just hiding behind shit beer, etc. A copy of a copy.

I’m either going to take the pill tonight or wait and until tomorrow, the problem is what’s going on now. I don’t don’t want to sleep. I can’t really work really tho because I’m not in the temple so I’m just sitting on the balcony watching the trees do nothing.

You know me, i can’t help myself.

Tomorrow is monday, it’s a work from home day, even before covid, let’s just wash everything but that’s when everyone else does and I have to interact with them, better to wait till wednesday. I feel lethal, anything that doesn’t help in my goals makes me want to consume it. Ugh, that sounds scary when i type it out, can’t wait for that to be read on the air. No, let me re-write that. Naw whatever, doesn’t matter.

I’m starting to really realize that no one should ever come to this condo with me. It’s a haunted evil place and just fucks with everything that comes here, it’s absolutely not me and my bad behavior, or the multiple suicides here…actually see it’s not so weird. Oh, well, I love you A, i hope you are doing well.

As I was walkin’ ’round Lee Circle Square
Not a chill to the winter but a flip to the car
From the other direction, she was PMing my username
It could be an illusion, but I might as well try, might as well try
She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes
And I knew without askin’ she was into the our subs
She wore scarlet begonias tucked into her curls
I knew right away she was not like other girls, other girls
In the heat of the evening when the dealing got rough
She was too pat to open and too cool to bluff
I picked up my anoles and was closing the door
I had one of those flashes I’d been there before, been there before
Well, I ain’t always right but I’ve never been wrong
Seldom turns out the way it does in a song
Once in a while you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right
Ain’t nothing wrong with the way she moves
Scarlet begonias or a touch of the blues
And there’s nothing wrong with the look that’s in her eyes
Had to learn the hard way to let her pass by, let her pass by
Wind in the willow’s playin’ “Tea For Two”
The sky was yellow and the sun was blue
Strangers stoppin’ strangers just to shake their hand
Everybody’s playing in the heart of gold band, heart of gold band