fucking blue crocs

I always walk Ginny to her car for one last kiss. A huge cold front came in last night so I’m wearing wool socks, my camo pajama pants that my mom gave me for christmas and my big black fuzzy robe.

She says she has a yoga mat in her car so I slip on the blue crocs, which no one seems to like and we’re walking to her car. She’s parked a little farther away then usual. So we’re just walking and I start laughing that I’m just strutting down the street in the 50 degree weather and 33 mph wind . The roofers working are looking at me.

The blue crocs tend to kinda be a scourge among my friends and loved ones. My friend Peter once threw one of them into the palm trees by the pool and sat up there for days until I could figure out how to get it down.

Crocs are totally acceptable but in very specific colors and situations. Like if you’re a line cook? Crocs are fine but probably black or a dark color.