Grrr

Figured I’d write here…I have a hour and a half before I can drive homewithout sitting in fucking grid locked traffic.

Today is Thursday. Ginny and I have been spending Wednesdays together as a habit. A nice break through the week to spend time with each other. I love it. We also always do it at her place on those nights so she cooks a amazing meal and it kinda takes ownership for her over the place? I dunno. It’s nice being somewhere besides my pier 8 cell or my temple in midcity.

We’ve been spending a lot of time together for months now but I still feel this extreme worry that it’ll end. I mean, when you think about it, it’s not even that wild to think that the ultimate end is misery for both of us, because it always has. God, that’s fucked up but maybe that’s the reason I’m feeling that?

Overall things are fucking awful. I can’t seem to get any money flowing into the business. I want to just give up and sit in a cubicle and update a daily status log of what I did. Spend the evenings in the gym and get drunk alone and watch tv before I start it again.

Actually no, that was fucking awful when I did that last time. Just as miserable without any of the freedom.

Just shut the fuck up. You need more sales people, it’s not a complicated problem. I don’t like to talk about work on this site, this site is for sex, drugs and rock and roll that web design just maybe funds. I was the happiest with I had S.O. selling for me. I’m going to call him right now, can use his some of his energy over the phone to figure out what the fuck to do with this month.

No mardi gras, no jazz fest, no football tourism money. No one making money, no one spending it.

On a plus, I’m getting my sailboat towed on Friday to get it…livable. My ultimate backup plan is in process. It’s like living in a van but without the luxury of ground below it. Can’t…wait.