pussy and web sites

last night oliver and his wife picked me up and took me with them and a group to the mortuary haunted house on canal. i walked over to the shell station and bought a tall boy, some beef jerky and pistachios for dinner.  i consume my lovely dinner while we wait for the rest of the group.

we finally get into line and get up to the place to pay. these 2 little black girls, have to be in their early teens, are in front of us to pay. one of them is determined to get the other one to go but one is terrified, she just doesn’t want to go….the one that is scared, who’s name is “miesha” from what i gathered from the overherd conversation, finally pays the $20 and gets in the next line. ive been drinking for a while so when her and her friends get in line in front of us, i just slightly tickle miesha’s arm.

she screams and runs out of line into a corner of the house. i almost piss myself laughing and the group i’m with is tears laughing. i compose myself as much as i can and try to get her to come back in line, it’s $20, come on, it won’t be scary, i’ll be here for ya. the creepy white dude who just tickled you in line, yeah he’s there for ya. she refuses to move, i beg her, come on, still laughing, it’ll be okay, i’ll watch out for you. she refuses to move…the usher motions for our group to go in, she is still standing in the corner, totally freaked out.

we head into the haunted house and it’s pretty impressive. the women in the group are scared to death, random strangers grabbing ahold of me in fear. all of a sudden this really nice looking blonde in a bloody wedding dress comes out of no where.

i stand back like “oh snap, hey hows it going heh”, reach into my pocket and quickly pull out a business card. she stares at me like “umm wait what” then takes the card. i’ll update if she calls or e-mails, trust me.

as i said before, it’s a pretty impressive, very well decorated, lots of themes, very cool. at this point i’m pretty drunk so i’m dropping business cards left and right, on coffee tables, on potted plants, everwhere.

a good business man is always networking.

we get to this one area that has these chain link fences that form a little maze. they have all these super hot chicks pretending to be vampires. i stop walking and take a look at what we have here…i wave to my friends and say “hey im going to chill here for a sec, i’ll catch up” while this sexy vampire is about 2 inches from me, trying very hard to look sexy/scary. and doing a good job at the first part. it was like a strip club.

we go to the bulldog in mid city afterward and it’s packed with all kinds of yuppie scum. lots of metairie pussy with too much make up and all probably think palin is going to be a great vp. our group sits in the back and talks and drinks and talks and drinks. i start drinking whiskey out of the flask i brought, which always leads to great conversation.

i go pay our tab and the incredibly beautiful bartender asks after she brings me my check, what i design(my credit card has **** designs the business name). i quickly respond “web sites” and smile. she says she’s a realtor and needs a web site. i tell her to call me.

a huge dude standing at the bar says “oh shit you build web sites? hey will you take a look at our site and let me know what we need to do make it look better” and hands me a card. i finally get back to the group and they are like “dude what took you so long” and i just laugh.

i am not checkers jesus

i’ve been playing checkers on pogo.com very frequently…there is something about it…just so basic about it…just all these nice computers and i use them to play fucking checkers…my username is also IAMYOURJESUS so i’m really just up there trolling people…religion is the easiest route to piss someone off..

it’s also a really great way to meet chicks…

i’m always pulling the A/S/L line…i just like to know…who is beating me in the face..i’ve been beat down by physic majors in florida, law students in jersey…but none of them compared to this one today…

i ask and they say “you first”….i tell her and she responds “14/f/idaho”….i’m exactly twice as old as this idaho farm girl…and i’ve lost 2 games in a row to her…and now normally i’d a little different but i didn’t start drinking until i lost the 2nd game to her…sigh…

this is a really weak scam

okay so i just got a msg on myspace from some chick i’ve never met before. i’m used to getting friend request from obvious bots trying to lure lonely guys into signing up to watch some cam site but this one is really weird. this one is attacking it from a really fucked up angle tho…she says her mom wants to hook up with me? she says she’s 23 on her myspace page which means her “mom” has to be at least in her early 40’s….now im only 28…do you really think this is gonna be a good hook?

i don’t know why this is stressing me out but i figure if you’re going to troll, do it right? i dunno…here’s the myspace of the chick and the message she sent me.

Subject:

Hello…

Body:

Hey cutie, I don’t speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.

My mother is interested in chatting with you and if you click, she’d love to date. She’s not into one-night stands; she’s looking for something stable. Hope you’re fine with that. She never tried online dating, so I’m giving her a hand. The bar scene is sooo stale, although she does go out once in a while. She loves catching live performances and amateur nights, I think she’s nuts, but whatever… Her idea of a good time can be very varied, but a first date she’d take pleasure in would be simple: an Italian restaurant, conversation over a nice cup of coffee, catching a movie and maybe dancing the night away.

She’s gorgeous too! But don’t believe me… ask her for some pics if you write back. This is my account so don’t write back to this address please. Instead, please send your reply to her Email address at, mrrose475@gmail.

Bye!

circle!

Well, after a few days of fucking with it, i finally fixed crackhore’s back end so i can post again…fucking cms’s are the bane of my shitty abita filled existance.

things have been okay for me lately…sorta…lately everyday has felt like the beginning of the end, that i’m going off the deep end with each waking moment…

i need to stop drinking jack daniels every night…