watch what i say

yeah i dunno. this is late and im going to bed after this.  i need to stop scheduling meetings during the day…nothing before lunch…ever….

people, parents and shit notice when i write anything online…this is the world we live in.

kelly and i are back together again. and we’ll probably break up again…

i got a handgun, i pick it up thursday

i’m not putting the magazine near the gun until i can lock it up.

not because of her, but because of everyone else.

im trying to cover a few things here, just keep reading.

okay yeah time to pass out

sweet

so many things have happened in the last few weeks that its hard to even catch the site up. no one reads anymore but it’s still fun and feels like the right thing to do at the time.

no more kelly…bought a handgun..finishing business plan…sleeping too much, drinking too much…

i have some work events coming up that require a date which….sucks…gotta have someone on my arm.

luckily dylan and lynn introduced me to a beautiful young woman who is willing to be escort me…yeah, i feel a little sad paying for a pseudo girlfriend but screw it. only live once.

im rebuilding a limo company’s web site in trade for a few rides…it’s almost easier then buying a car….i still think it’s time to buy a motorcycle…that, combined with a handgun seems like everything “i need” to fufill this mid life crisis.

cuz thats what this..obviously…a mid life crisis…dump the neurotic girlfriend, pay for a new model, rent your wife and kids today,maybe she’ll caught a lite sneeze…blah.

im trying to reconnect with old friends…i think thats a good idea, the sad part is i can tell that i’ve already strayed so far away from everyone that there is no one left. no one cares to talk with me anymore and i can honestly tell how sad it is writing on my site about it.

deluxe boss sad.

i don’t care anymore. nothing has ever worked before and nothing ever will. that’s all there is to say about it and i’m not going to get better with age or whatever. based on their age, some people tell me i have all the time in the world to find a new love and some people tell me im going to drink myself to death and die young because i’m old and i need a woman.

what scares me is i know i can’t just go find another girl and go about my life. i really honestly like having a girlfriend like having someone i can count on. kelly was my best friend for years and now im totally alone and so is she. part of me hopes she’s doing okay, part of me knows i can’t do anything to help.

so i continue…i guess…i have been trying to talk to people, especially women. today i told a woman at the verti mart, after i had several tall boys downtown and listened to much of the fragile on the ipod, “you are absolutely beautiful and i hope someone has told you that today”.

i had no plan for what to say afterward and i think she felt sorry for me and made small talk with me. obviously asked where im from since it’s obviously not new orleans, asked my name.  it was rather bad honestly…i shouldn’t talk to people without a plan. she ordered one entree and 2 sides…i paid for my bacon and egg sandwich, sat out on a porch stoop and consumed it while looking at this flowchart ive been working on and drank my coors light tall boy.

i realize that this is all probably a self fulfilling prophecy, i’ll always be miserable because i want to be….what was almost sad was i knew i was going to be writing this in the very near future.

back to be alone, back to being sad, back to whiskey crackhore updates at 4am. back to nine inch nails, back to cutting, back to to lonliness. back to updates like these.

Dear Friend In Christ

I believe you will treat this mail with the fear of God. It is with tears
that I am writing you this mail; I dont need your pity, but love to my son.
My mail may seem very painful and sorrowful, but there is more you can do in
my request than to pity me, which is to show LOVE to my son. I was an orphan
and do not wish my son to experience what I have been through on Earth after
an automobile crash that nearly claimed my life.

My name is Wilfred Roland Jr, married to the late Janet Wilfred, who died
with our two daughters in Indonesia on 26th of December 2004 during the
Tsunami Disaster, after this Painful and sorrowful incident, my condition
worsened and I was diagnosed of cancer, which got worst and I have been
suffering from heart failure and hepatitis since. My friends ignored me due
to my relationship with God on sickbed.

My wife, our children and I have been in United Kingdom for a long time. We
all were suppose to travel to Indonesia in December 2004, but my bad health,
did not permit me to travel with them, which made me and my son stay behind
while my wife and our two daughters traveled. If not, all of us would have
perished in the disaster.

My reason of writing you this mail is due to the sad news that came to me
recently from the doctors. After my last diagnosed result, it was proved by
the doctors that i may not leave for more than one month ahead, due to the
damage the cancer have caused in my system unless I undergo an urgent
surgical operation which my chance of survival is less than 10% according to
the medical experts. As it stands, I have given to fate and have found God
on sick bed. But I have a more concern problem, which is why I have
contacted you.

Please, this is about my son. Since it is now obvious that I will die, my
son’s future has been the greatest problem I have. I want you to take care
of my son please. He is only 13 years old and we have no person here to take
care of him if I die today. My friends for knowing God deserted me.

I left some money in a deposit house at United Kingdom, which i intended to
use for investment in Indonesia. I want you to take this money and my son.
Use the money into a big investment, that you will manage until my son grows
up to take over the investment. I will like you to take my son as your own
son, give him the love we the parents would have given him. Do not let him
feel the pains of being an orphan, give him good education, bring him up
into a responsible man. Make him have the fear of God. Please do not refuse
this task. I have no one else to help me out on this issue, I am an orphan
who grew up without knowing God rather focused on wealth and otherwise,
living a life of fantasy and doesn’t care or know who God is. Do not pity
me, rather take good care of and bring him up to be God fearing.

As soon as I receive your reply including your personal details, all i will
do is to authorize my bank to transfer the money to your account directly
and i will also draw up my will in your favor. I will give the bank all the
documents that is covering the deposit with the bank, i will transfer every
power and right of ownership to you stating at my Will to enable you claim
the deposit from the bank. It will be also included in the Will that you are
the only person my son should be released to, if i die. All i need is your
acceptance and assurance that you will not treat my son badly.

I am writing you this mail with great tears and i pray you will be kind &
honest with fear of God concerning this mail to you today.

Please reply this mail immediately if you have the love and care of God.

Thank you.

Mr. Wilfred Roland Jr.

all the spoils of a wasted life

i’m watching my personalities blend a lot lately and i think it might be a good thing. i used to pride myself on keeping both of them separate but as i’ve gotten older i just don’t care anymore. i really gotta decide what to do with this site. i’m not updating nearly enough. it’s not that funny shit isn’t happening, i just can’t find the time to post…

a win

this is great news

for people in new orleans, we see this asshole’s work everywhere. huge ugly gray sploches all over buildings….over great shit that makes the lower garden district somewhat neat looking…when i get shot down there i want to die looking at some cool graftetti instead of huge gray ego spraypainted everywhere

im going to quit drinking

ScoutMassaToad: i think im going to quit every year after mardi gras just as a tradition but life really isn’t worth nearly as much without daily alcohol consumption….spending this much time in boring people world has made me even more of a alcoholic

MYSPACE: A Must Read for All OMGLOLTHINKOFTHECHILDREN

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS and HAVE CHILDREN READ IT TOO!

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and
get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She
checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant
message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home
today. I t was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you?
Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz’ I didn’t see
anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven’t done that have you?

ByAngel213:
Of course not. I’m not stupid you know.

GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!

GoTo123:
That’s great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look
like bees. LOL

GoTo123:
What is your team called?

ByAngel213:
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are
really cool.
GoTo1 23:
Did you pitch?

ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before
my parents get home. I don’t want them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile…….GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search
for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it
out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about
Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina

Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this
information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told
him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon
until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on
Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the
Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew
she wa s in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School . She
had told him all this in the conversations they had on- line. He had
enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn’t tell her parents about the incident on the way home
from the ballpark that day. She didn’t want them to make a scene and
stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were
always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was
not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents
wouldn’t be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.=2 0

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at
her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her
second base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when
she looked at him. He didn’t look scary and she quickly dismissed the
sudden fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach.
She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and
she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew
he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her .. It was only a few
blocks to Shannon ‘s home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly
returned to the park to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time
came to go to Shannon ‘s house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and
sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in
the living room.

‘Shannon, come here,’ her father called. He sounded upset and she
couldn’t imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the
ballpark sitting on the sofa.

‘Sit down,’ her father began, ‘this man has just told us a most
interesting story about you.’

Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had
never seen him before today!

‘Do you know who I am, Shannon ?’ the man asked.

‘No,’ Shannon answered.

‘I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.’

Shannon was stunned. ‘That’s impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He’s
14. And he lives in Michigan !’

The man smiled. ‘I know I told you all that, but it wasn’t true. You
see, Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was
one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I
belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators.
I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to
people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for
me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your
ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your
jersey just made finding you a breeze.’

Shannon was stunned. ‘You mean you don’t live in Michigan ?’

He laughed. ‘No, I live in Raleigh It made you feel safe to think I
was so far away, didn’t it?’

She nodded.

‘I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn’t as lucky.
The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are
taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the
time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a
little here and there on-line.. Before you know it, you have told them
enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I
hope you’ve learned a lesson from this and won’t do it again. Tell
others about this so they will be safe too?’

‘It’s a promise!’

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom all knelt down together and
thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic
situation.

*****NOW****

EVEN FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS SO T HEY CAN SEND IT TO
FRIENDS THAT DO HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN.

Have A Good Day & God Bless

gun show

kelly and i went out to kenner today for the gun show. we parked and started walking into the convention center and enter the first door. this set of doors is for the book fair that is next to where the gun show is. our mistake, we leave and enter in the correct door, pay our way in and get our hands stamped with the words GUN SHOW, which i wish would never wash off(it has).

endless tables of handguns, rifles and everything you’d need to be “prepared”. we started from one side and made our way through, buying several knives, a ammo crate, a tactical vest and a black ski mask. we also got zach a pair of brass knuckles for his birthday which we’ll give him later tonight.

we actually had to take the ammo crate to kelly’s jag before returning to pick up the knives we saw earlier.

the people at these events are truely inspiring. there was a good amount of good “salt of the earth” types as well as the neo nazi types, iberville project versions also. i’m always fascinated by rednecks but kelly and i both got a kick seeing the dude in the oversized jeans and polo shirt with dreads spill out of his backwards baseball hat holding up a AR-15 while his friends nod in approval.

there were signs everywhere that said “no cameras” which almost makes the whole thing more awesome since i’ll only have the memory.picture-013picture-014picture-0151