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okay imma start this story around 3am yesterday when i drove to alex’s to drink. i roll in, tie marla to my chair, and drink god knows how many beers. At 6:45am, me and marla drive back to my dad’s office where i’ve basically been living.

Pretty drunk at this point and decided that i was tired of moving this huge bag of shrooms from freezer to freezer since my apartment is still down, that i could just eat them all and not have to worry about it.

Well around 8am people start showing up for work to find the boss’s son drunk with a head full of shrooms. The whole reason i came back to bartlett was to get my car fixed so i went to the car stereo place, somehow explain to them the problem, then had a very very intresting wait. I maintained my sanity by reading a magazine over and over and trying not to have conversations with anyone.

Finally the car is done, i go back to the office, eat the rest of the mushrooms and decide that this is no longer a safe place. I collect my dog, get in the car, almost hit a Escalade truck cuz i was distracted by my dog melting. It’s 11am, i havn’t been to bed, im tripping my head off and i really need to find sanctuary.

I toy with the idea of just parking my car in a parking lot and sleeping there but i figure since my dad’s at the office i can go to their house. Terrible decision. I get there and theres a red Mustang in our driveway and some guy starts asking me questions about storm damage and insurance. I tell him i have no idea what he’s talking about, repeating over and over that im just here to sleep. He says it’s no problem cuz my dad just called him and he’s on his way.

fucking great.

i go upstairs, get on aim, which was probably a bad idea anyway since half my aim windows were trying to take my advantage of my state and telling me to go on a killing spree. My dad knocks on the door and says i gotta move my car to let the guys into the backyard. Great. At this point everything has that “drawn by crayon” look which makes backing my car out very very difficult.

Finally i fall asleep, which was really really hard since trying to fall asleep when everything is still hilarious, is well, difficult. At one point i was watching the christian channel, laughing at the priest, trying to sing along with his Latin chanting. Then i tried to fall asleep to some Senate hearings about tobacco lobbying, etc. That was even more funny.

Finally sweet sleep is acheived for 6 hours, now im back at the office, which has become my new apartment.