Crunkfest 2004 – My Version.

*****UPDATE********
I don’t follow news at all but this is fucking gold. Apparently there was a small riot in the parking lot, followed with shots fired. No one was hurt but all this shit went down 15 minutes after we left.

It’s my version was very frightening, exciting, really intresting, then we left. The version of my fellow black man that was getting crunk up in there probably is a lot better.

Last night, Alex, Kristen, Valerie and I(all white) went to the hot 107.1 Crunkfest. At the Midsouth Coliseum. On the drive there, the closer we got, the more danger we decided we were in. I had been drinking beer all day since my 8am meeting, so i was drunk and psyched. Just the shear thought I was about to see the hardest thugs in Memphis, and watch them watch rap music in the Coliseum.

I remember earlier on aim someone asked me my agenda for the evening, it went: drugs, Crunkfestâ„¢, ambulance, hospital, morgue, and probably hell.

I was throughly excited to meet god.

Now driving through the parking lot would be a update in itself. The massive army of ghetto cars with plastic spinners, the bigger pimps with the suv’s with spinners, etc, etc.

Now Alex had purchased 2 extra tickets. I figured, since he got me the tickets for me and my girlfriend, i was obligated to get rid of the 2 extra tickets. Dressed in my Hot 107.1 t-shirt, I stride confidently up to a thugged out dude standing on the sidewalk talking to cars as they drive by. I hold up the tickets, we negotiate a price, he pays me and i give him the tickets. It felt like a drug deal in reverse.

We stand in line for about 15 minutes, in the rain, which was entertaining hearing chicks talk about their weaves getting wet. We go thru security and i notice lots of hairpics with a sharpened end laying on the desk there. Phew, not getting stabbed with those.

We shuffle in and sit up in the upper tiers and get comfortable. We all notice, with great worry, the fact that the floor has several several rows of chairs. Just typical, wrestling weapon, chairs. Why did we even bother use metal detectors, we’re supplying them now.

As the building started to fill up to levels that were, well, troubling, the true realization hit me. All of Orange Mound, all my old neighbers from Haynes, are getting “crunk” here.

Another weird thing I couldn’t help but notice that whatever gang is currently running Orange Mound, their colors seem to be red. The chairs are red too. I’m even more amused when i start seeing g’s with the little bandanna around their neck. They look like little cowboys. Then i wonder if it’s wrapped around their neck, it means it’s easier to pull up over your face when you decide to stab a white dude at Crunkfest.

The show begins with lots of stalling. First they bring up the “big women” and they dance. I am highly amused. Then they bring some random dudes from the crowd that rap. This kid, couldn’t have been older then 15, gets on stage, gets up and starts dropping all kinds of crazy shit, the crowd going nuts. It was pretty amazing the way this could kid rap. In retrospect seeing him would have probably been a little better.

It was really super cool when the crowd got into who was ever on stage tho. Like i’ve never seen the Coliseum this full and i’ve NEVER seen it full with the nation of Islam. But unlike the Perfect Circle Show we saw there, it just kept filling up as the night went on.

Another really weird thing was they went from having all the lights 50% on. Then turned them off, then they turn them on again, and have a “intermission” which was them basically stalling for something. I felt so much safer when the lights were out and there was music playing.

The clothes were also something really intresting to note because of the massive amount of airbrushing. I saw so many custom made “North Memphis” t-shirts, t-shirts saying “i’m rick james, bitch!” that was made with iron on letters. I felt safe in my 107.1 shirt.

My favorite part was when some shirtless dude on stage jumps into the crowd, grabs one of the chairs and drags it up on stage. I lean to the edge of my seat with anticipation as he waves it in the air one handed. All of a sudden this huge bald white dude with SECURITY written on his shirt grabs the chair from his mid air arm. Tradegy diverted.

Even tho the show was mostly a bunch of guys yelling over music and not really performing like i guess i’m used to rap music being performed. Maybe Ludicris is just better live, hehe.

The show continued to spiral downward and we decided to abandon ship when the sound system went totally out.