drugs drugs drugs and don’t forget the websites

ugh okay i realize when i start to get redundant.

anyway.

this is going to be a intresting period of my life. stuck here for at least 6 more months. almost thinking about moving to somewhere in mississippi and getting a house for $400 a month because it’s MS.

I still hope i run into the homeless girl i met while down there. If we do see each other, it’s fate and she’s moving to memphis. A bic razor and a shower would make her a creature of beauty. It was so hot watching her pee under the overpass….if i see her this time tho then i know it’s for real.

If you love something you gotta let it go. Then when you see her begging for food and beer in the french quarter and she remembers you, then it’s meant to be.

I keep thinking about what my new orleans trip would have been like if she knew who i really was. I’d probably end up robbed and beaten without a way to get back to Memphis. Then again she might have been my soulmate.

I really need to let her go. I was eating lunch with levi and rachel last week and started ranting about how much i miss her in front of people i didn’t know. Naturally they don’t understand why someone could have such strong feelings for a homeless person.

I even told my parents about her. I did a lot of crazy shit while on my last business trip but the homeless girl adventure still keeps ranking in at #1. I can’t deny the fact that i think i now i have feelings for her because i can’t stop talking about it. Now i’m even updating my site about her.

Hi my name is toad and im a ummm..sicko?

I went to the liquid lounge tonight to stare at goth girls. It was worth the $5……the problem is im totally inempt at talking to people without a keyboard involved. I sit and make a to-do list for next week and draw weird faces on the paper. This isn’t healthy. I talked with a girl for a while and realized how old i am and how boring my life really is. Rules.

My good friend steve the other night was asking “what happend with valerie”. Kept going on and on about how much she loved me.  Thanks. just what i need is more doubt. People have no idea what was going on this relationship…only saw the bright shiney outside covering we had. Pretty ironic honestly.

blah blah blah, rant rant rant…..so tired of hearing it too….i really wish i could find out what i did wednesday night……i talked to caryn today and asked her again “what i said” and she mentioned something about me buying her boots. Awesome. Drinking until you black out = buying ex girlfriend’s boots?

Anyway, this update is starting to spiral downwards. My friend Wes gave me some good advice which i think we could all learn from. In regards to what i do with valerie, my work life, my personal life…he said just do whatever, because whatever you do is the right thing. Even if it gets me killed, then it’s the right thing at that time.

Okay ending this train wreck of a update. Peace.