blaaaaaaaaaaaah

i know my life is weird when i can’t write about 80% of the stuff going on in my life. Usually because it involves things about…well about me screwing up in the past……or sometimes because the person involved actually reads the site….this is actually the case very often.

I’m starting to realize i declassify stuff after a few months. People i talked to in the past no longer warrant the discretion that get while talking to me. I figure i can blend them into all the people i talk to and it grants a level of vagueness that keeps me from getting murdered/sued.

I actually have a story from a few months ago that i think im eventually going to need to sit down and type out. Sometimes these stories kinda fuck with me on a level of “omg wow i’m pretty dumb” and i’ll keep it the story vague but im going to just get this one out in the open. I screwed up, maybe i even know i was screwing up while i did it but i am sometimes compelled, if not forced to do things just because i’m terribly bored with everything.

I’ve asked for a week off at my goverment contract. I’m not sure when i want to use it but i’m going to sit in my chair in my apartment and just work on the crackhore book. I’m years behind and i really feel that if i don’t work on it now i’m just going to get older. That’s very true because i have a birthday coming up.

I really have to wonder when i’m going to stop writing in it and start editing and trying to find a place to publish it. I think about on a scale of 1 to 10 the things i do on a monthly/weekly scale that will leave any lasting effect after i am shot down by police/overdose/liver failure/stabbed by a angry lover.

It’s really something everyone should try to do…..it seems so pointless to live life without recording any of it. People talk about how they think blogging is stupid and pointless but i would love to read what my grandfather drank, his failed relationships before thankfully meeting my grandmother.

Oh well, 5 days should catch me up…..i need to send it to a few close friends to watch over it in case i die…really don’t want the only edition be locked in crackhore and on one of my computers.