okay stfu

it’s been about 24 hours since a declassified update and i’m getting a lot of this “maybe you’re doing this on purpose”. it’s so fucked up hearing this from girls online. look if you and your  “sisters” would go out with me then i might not go on fucked up internet adventure dates….

so before you get a good hardy laugh, the 3-4 girls who read this site……this is all your fault. i hope you sleep well in your tight little shorts and tight bras. i hope your boyfriend is treating you really great.

but i hope you have terrible nightmares of me murdering neighborhood pets and jerking off on them. of course when i say jerking off on, i’m saying feed and love.

i love puppies and kiddies….kitties.

i have the parachute on, time to jump off this post.

i’d like to give a shout out to the federal agents probably reading this..any girl that was remotely attracted to me…any clients…family members…thank you all, good night.

the 11:30pm show is different from the 5am show.

if you’re drinking, don’t drive, and if you’re driving, don’t drink.

and don’t forget to tip your waitress.

*falls off stage*