a suspect fitting your description

ive done really well the last few years staying out of trouble.

i get drunk, i have fun, i pay my tab, no cops or anything.

so today i go downtown to get my haircut and i get off at my usual bus stop. i have on my usual garb, a black hoodie, the steve james jacket, camo pants, and the doc martins.

i’m listening to year zero, i’m probably about 50 yards from my apartment when i see a white blur out of the corner of my eye. oh, it’s a police car.

i look down the barrel of the officer’s guns when they say “put your hands on the hood”

being a good citizen, i comply.

all 6 pockets get dumped out on the squad car and they are immediately suspicious why im wearing a jacket with someone else’s name on it.

here we go…again.

the younger cop asks if i have any weapons. i mention the knife in the back right pocket. face goes down on hood of car and knife comes out. no, i don’t have any crack pipes or needles but after this day i wish i had some back in my apartment.

This is when it gets good.

The older cop asks what i do while the younger one finishes making sure i’m clear of weapons. I run ******** we build web sites. He asks if i’ve heard of **** web company, i say no. Apparently he runs a contracting business and he’s really unhappy about his current web company. He’s got a billion different contacts, one person for the logo, one person for the hosting, one person for the email.

So i’m laying there on the squad car going “yeah thats exactly what people love about us, it’s one person, don’t have to talk to someone in another country, just how we do it”

He pulls out one of his cop business cards and writes down the address of his web site and asks me to take a look at it and let me know what i would do to improve it.

The younger cop gives me back my knife and wallet and i walk back to my apartment. I immediately call kelly who immediately suggests i update.

I’m not going to stop wearing camo pants just because someone else is either.

I’ve been doing this for over 10 years, it’s a sign of web design and just because someone is breaking into cars and wearing camo pants doesn’t mean i should stop.

Fuck that