platinum minus

Well our platinum plus journey is over. I’m probably jinxying everyone by saying this cuz i’m not sure if merritt, levi and rachel or sek got home okay but everything was okay when i left. fucking platinum.

They had a pussy eating contest at one point which i navigated the crowd to get a closer look. Ppeople were balling up dollar bills and throwing them at them while they “made love” to each other’s holes. I threw a balled up $1 bill with perfect arc and range and it nails this girl in the face while she’s face deep in her co-worker. They are professionals tho, she stopped for half a second and continued to chow down. It was just cool because it had a little bit of interactivity with nailing her in the face with a george washington. I’m so easily entertained.

God that place is vile, like you sit down in the chair and you wonder how many stds are just growing and fermenting in the seat. Everyone had a pretty good time, i really regret going to the bathroom tho. All kinds of flashbacks hit me as soon as saw the pee soaked floor and the stalls where people are peeing and snorting drugs(some of them at the same time).

I only had 1-2 girls approach me for a lapdance since i was sitting next to merritt and the wolves just assumed i was with her. It was a busy saturday night, they couldn’t take time with a mark who had a girl with him, i understand. The 2 girls that did approach me quickly were dispersed when i asked them what i could get for $5. That’s not much apparently. I should have been like “shit girl, that’s a wendy’s value menu right there, come on, break a nigga off a handjob”.

Other highlights where toad’s moral crusade to pay a waitress. This cocktail waitress brought me a budweiser and didn’t ask me for any money. So now suddenly i have this imaginary tab running with a cocktail waitress who looks like every other fucking waitress there. I finally track this girl down and give her the $5 for a beer. Probably wasn’t even the same waitress. I’ll sleep better tonight. Those poor girls. I really wonder what it’s like to be a stripper and wake up in strange beds, nose bleeding from the cheap coke he gave you to get you in bed, ass sore and face 1 day more wrinkled. They deserve every dime they get.

Rachel said she went into the bathroom and said she felt a little offended that no one offered her cocaine. I mean it is platinum plus, it might have been a slow night, but come on. Merritt told her that the wedding ring was probably was a red flag for the potential drug dealers. Makes sense.

Other highlights include Sek showing us his mom’s business card. I’m not going to type out the name of sek’s mom’s “organization” but lets just say it’s for people who don’t go to this “type” of strip club. Yeah, poor sek 🙁 must be tough.

On a happy note, my plan of bringing my license and exactly $30 to platinum was a successfull plan. I did not inhale any kind of drug and i didn’t not have any intimate relations with any strippers. I win at platinum.

On a sadder note, i havn’t really eaten in about 2 days now. My chest has really been hurting when i don’t drink and even a little bit when i do. I’m so afraid im going to die in my sleep and not get to see what “happens”. I think tomorrow im going to wake up and take a few asprin to thin my blood out enough to stem off any alcohol withdrawl heart attacks that i’m probably going to have. I need to stop, sooner then later.

I’d really like to go into a long rant about how badly i miss valerie and how she’s probably having a gangbang that’s going to be on easynews shortly. But i’m not. Everyone, even tho they won’t tell me, is sick of me pining over her. When she gets back from san diego and i get back from new orleans we’ll either fall back in love or she’ll perform oral sex on a “producer” while a camera man nails her from behind. Not that she’d ever do that tho. Like Merritt said, whatever valerie is doing right now is her own business, not mine. She probably hasn’t gone on any dates, neither have I, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll never know the truth, even if she tells it to me, and it’s none of my business.