can i help you with something?

i forgot this really great human interaction today. i’m outside my apartment about to start my run, trying to find the start of 10k days when a white truck pulls up and the window rolls down.

now i’m 100% sober, really pissed because i want to kill myself and that’s not a great feeling. i want to start my run. i am ready to start my run. this is 100% accurate.
like “okay probably directions” and approach and say “hey whats up?” the guy says “hey” casually. i go “can i help you with something?” he says “you live there?”.

now the last thing u wanna tell a stranger before you go for a run is where you live.

i say “i’m sorry, can i help you?” i’m confused, he’s not asking for directions, i’m very confused and a little angry. these are way more questions then answers and thats not the way i work.

it turns out he’s a neighbor for 2 doors down. he looked a lot like my next door neighbor who i’ve….had a conversation with that didn’t end with either of us liking each other.

i tell the dude i had a long day at work and apologize. i tell him his house is the best looking on the block and he tells me how much water he had it in when he started.

i feel like a complete asshole. honestly tho, when someone pulls up to you on the street and starts asking you really open ended questions about if you can help them and if you live around there, aggression is the right emotion. i don’t regret it.

fuck being friendly.
this is post k new orleans, son, i’m lucky to be even writing this and not tied up in my running clothes in the back of some sicko’s truck.