MISTER IAN! MISTER IAN!

god, this is so fucking funny. Last night i stumble in around 4am, looking forward to a nice nap in my own bed. Ian was engaged in pleasing some random girl, from the looking of the clothes in the living room. I shudder, grab my dog, turn up the dvd to ignore the terrible activities going on in the other room and fall asleep.

Around 8am i’m woke to the sound of Marla’s dog toy hitting my door. WTF. The dog was in my room when i fell asleep, what is she doing out. I hear this loud high pitched voice screaming commands at Marla. It sounds like a really young and really hyper teenager. I lay and wonder why the hell whoever Ia fucked is screaming at this hour.

Dear god ian, who did you bring home this time.

My mind wanders in it’s half asleep state, hearing this high pitched voice ask Ian several questions, always referring to him as “MISTER IAN!”. Dog toy flies down hallway several times, i fall asleep when Ian offers this random girl pizza and they drive off.

I lay there and wonder why Ian gets off by having a girl refer to him as Mr.

I wake up around 5pm, still wondering why Ian was fucking a hyper teenager. I call him and scream MISTER IAN! MISTER IAN! and ask him who the hell he was fucking that sounded like a 15 year old on crack.

He then explains that yes, he did have sex with a girl that night but then after she left and his friend, who named her son Ian, after Ian, dropped him off and that’s who was screaming Mister Ian! The pizza comment makes a little more sense at least.