Month: October 2003

I was coming home after picking up Valerie around…5:30pm today and we see this tall black dude in a red shirt with a huge medallion around his neck. He’s just standing there, making eye contact with each car that comes by. We’re also on the other side of the tracks on Southern so you can only take one guess why he’s just standing there.

Roughly 3 hours, this is after dark by the way, we’re driving back from Wendys and the same guy is standing in the same spot, but now he’s got this huge german shepard with him. I almost wanted to pull up, Hot 107.1 blaring on the speakers and ask him for a dime bag just out of curiousity to find out what he’s selling.

Probably would have been idea.

Last night at the Blue Monkey, i was relaxing with friends and watching the game. Also shooting massive amounts of alcohol. My friend who happens to be in the Memphis Police Department, we’ll call him Sid, decides that he’s gonna get me drunk since i fixed his computer.

2 extra special Jack And Cokes, 4 beers and i think 3 shooters, it all comes back up.

Not drinking with Ian anymore
Not going to the Blue Monkey ever again
Not drinking liquor(till this weekend)

Last sunday i was on my way to Melange for more beer finishing my drink from the previous bar. I park, finish the last gulp of whiskey, get out of my car, walk roughly 5 feet, fall to one knee and empty my stomach all over myself. I find this hilarious, seeing the peanuts from the last bar, mixed in with the whiskey and beer, all over myself.

The half of dozen people who were walking into Melange who witnessed this think it’s even more funny.

I walk back to my car, drive to Circle K and buy a 40 and go home.

i think im pretty sure what they mean by complete and total madness. i really need to quit drinking.

i’ve decided alcohol isn’t really a addiction. It’s more of like a sport or hobby. That you do constantly.

i want people to remember me for washing down vitamins with beer. it’s the ultimate contradiction.

i had a really great cheeseburger today but it had mayonnaise on it. So fucking disgusting yet i was so hungry that i think at one point i had convinced myself that i liked it. The worst part was it was a really good cheeseburger, bacon, onion, lettuce but it had to have mayonnaise on it.

i really should have sent it back instead of writing a paragraph about it on my site.

maybe that’s today’s lesson.

i havn’t updated too much lately since life has gotten fairly busy with the binge drinking, work and sleep. Sunday i wake up around 2pm, with a hangover of Biblical, im talking one of those puking when you drink water the next day, hangovers.

I comes in, just as hungover as i was. He says “you know what today is toad, it’s the Sunday Night Beatdownâ„¢, the weekly tradition of him, and about 8 of his crazy friends who are also all blatant alaoholics.

This time it started at the blue monkey, then went to side street, then melange. Well everyone else made it to melange except toad. See sidestreet has these huge baskets of peanuts. I don’t think i had ate yet today so i was like “mmm peanuts will help” so i eat a couple handfuls. 2 jack and waters and 3 bud lights later im driving home with my last jack and coke still in my hand.

I get to Melange, strolling through the parking lot when i kinda fall down to one knew and projective vomit the peanuts, whiskey and beer that had been my breakfast. What i didn’t notice was the half of group of people standing in the parking lot laughing their asses off. I kinda stumble back to my car, unlock the doors and drive off

I get home and i realize that i am way too owned to be driving anymore. I grab the bike. Halfway to circle k i pull a move off a curb and bam, goodbye tire. I sigh, mutter to god about something, and turn around walking my broken ass bike home.

Now i really want to drink, so i grab the car keys and drive up the circle k. Forty. Back home, i lose probably 50 warcraft games in a row because im screaming racist comments more then im actually playing.

tonight i was buying beer and cigerettes at a local Circle K and i gave the cashier and the 2 people in line with me a crackhore.com sticker.

then as i was stumbling back to my car a guy who claimed his name was Michael asked me for a dollar for a beer. if he had said it was for “food” or the “wife and kids in the van who need money for gas” then i would have lol’ed and went about my day but he mentioned how he needed it for beer.

i gave him a dollar and i don’t regre it it.

i’d like to give a shout out to all the people in the Federal building reading my site. I don’t do drugs, drink, or support terrorism.

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=679629
The thing I hate most about the Taco Bell drive through is the voice that comes on and says “Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try a Grilled Stuffed Drunk Chiauhua with the Runs Burritodilla today?”, then you say “No, just give me a Chicken Quesadilla with red sauce, two tacos, and a Mt. Dew”, and then someone else comes on of a completely differant gender and nationality and asks if they can take your order. I hate that stupid recording. It’s the drive through equivalent of saying “Hi!”, waiting a few seconds, saying “how ya doing?” on your answering machine.

I wake up this morning around 10:00 when my phone rings. It’s my mom, the first thing she says is “the FBI just called for you”.

This is not the way i wanted to start my Thursday.

I walk into the living room, take down the agent’s info into my notes.txt and tell her i’ll call her back after i call him.

Into the kitchen, grabbing a pint glass, filling it with ice, Everclear and the rest of the Koolaide and dial the number to the Memphis office of the FBI.

They wanted to know what i knew about Adrian Lamo, the hacker recently arrested for hacking. I had never met him, probably hadn’t ever mentioned him in the history of this site, anything. He asks a few more questions, my occupation, then he goes “oh and you run crackhore.com?”

I laugh, respond Yup and he moves on to the next question. As i type this my unpatriotic rantings are probably pumping off a FBI laserjet right now. This will probably be my last update before the “delievery van” outside comes and fucks me up.