I swear the only thing to do in this fucking city on Friday is get drunk or high. I have neither drugs or alcohol either. I’m about to go to Tracks out of total fucking boredom.

Last night i was searching for “drunk” and looking at other people’s drunk pics for a change. It’s crazy how many millions of drunk motherfuckers upload their drunk pics that only seem really funny to them.

I guess i could probably stay in and work but fuck, working on a friday night is almost as lame as working on a saturday…blah….you know you’re really a bored motherfucker when feeding the dog becomes a whole little fun activity in itself. Most people open the can of food, dump it into the bowl and walk away. Tonight i’m heating her Prime Cuts(In Gravy) up in the microwave, adding Fajita Seasoning and putting a little piece of parsley in it. The way her tail is wagging like crazy makes me think she likes it…..

Blah, gonna go meet felix up at tracks, the alcohol must be consumed whether i like it or not.

Yah, games usually last about 9 innings.

Last night i witnessed Redbird’s history. At 1am when the video screen informed us that we were attending the longest lasting baseball game in Autozone Park history, i felt a little warm and fuzzy.

I don’t really like baseball. I collected baseball cards like a fanatic as a child, which seems like just a obsession in a small form, like collecting warez as a teenager. I played baseball as a child, knowing the rules, always wishing i was better, etc.

Then somehow, during my teen NIN years, i lost touch with baseball or any kind of sport that was nationally recognized. It lost the magic and it figures…with the strikes, the 20 million salaries that don’t seem to be enough, etc. Greed seems like the only common denominator in American spirit now..

Last night i sat through 19 innings of baseball tho. Shane called me at 5pm and invited me to a AAA baseball game at the downtown stadium. I had never been to a game, just broken up with my girlfriend, so it sounded really good. We drove down, parked in a parking garage and went the game.

I remember looking at the scoreboard and saying “so games only last 9 innings?” and he said “naw, usually around 8”.

Of course after the Redbirds hit 3 home runs in one fucking inning, i was like “omg it’s a tie game”. Thats when it got intresting. It was a tie fucking game. No one had any idea who the winner or who the loser would be. Yet people were getting up and leaving. I didn’t understand it…how could they leave when at any moment some fucker could crack that ball out of the park.

Shane asked me about twice if i wanted to leave and i was like “No way, fuck those faggots, i want to see who wins, in real life”. The green grass, the dark dirt…this shit was glowing in the eyes of someone who only seems aim windows and pixels all day.

By the 17th inning, i was sure the umpire was going to call the game. The innings were going by so fast, those 3 outs just coming and going. The fatigue of every player showing as one dude accidently threw a bat into the crowd and when the Olkahoma picther beaned a batter.

The 19th inning, 6 and a half hours later, the game ended. We were so weary, waiting, like people in a movie theatre, just wanting something, ANYTHING! to happen when Olkahoma got a faggot on 3rd. They hit a base hit and the asshole ran home.

There were only about 200 something people left in the stadium at the point. Shane and I were commenting on how cute the guys/girls were that were left in the stadium when those fuckers finally won.

Now I hate Memphis as much as anyone else who has lived here long enough does. This city fucking sucks. But after 19 fucking innings, you want the dudes who buy 40’s at the same gas station as you do, to fucking own those faggots. So you feel a little owned when those butt pirates walk across the plate, scoring that last run.

We left Autozone park after 6 and a half hours, the longest game in that park’s history, tired and weary. The guy at the gate gave us 2 free tickets to whatever Redbird’s game we wanted to see and i really understood baseball at that moment.

That night and the morning afterwards, everyone was like “Toad, you like baseball?” and i responded “yeah i guess so”. I mean quite honestly i never liked baseball before that night. I really figured it out that night tho. The bright lights, the green grass, the beatiful girls, the anticipation with each pitch that it could sail out of the park and change the 19 inning game….i can honestly say i don’t like sports…i like competition, hehe….

I wanna thank Shane for talking me to this game. I havn’t had such a weird “You never thought you could feel this” kinda moment in a very, very long time. I never thought i could actually think that baseball was a really cool sport but now i could honestly enjoy any baseball, basketball or footbal game as long as it was it was happening in front of me.

Kinda makes me feel like shit since i told Shane i was going to go to tonight’s game with him but i didn’t make it back from my run in time to shower and change and go with him. Oh well, anyone who knows me well enough to invite me to a baseball game knows that i’m such a flake that i won’t be on time for anything….

Anyway, i’m gonna add some pics to this update of the game and i really wanna thank shane for inviting me out of the blue to this incredible game. It wouldn’t have been the same with anyone else and i appreciate it….and with that, im gonna take my drunk ass to bed….fdalksdjflakjsdflkajsdlfjasldfkalksdjf



This credit company is really pissed about me not paying Bellsouth 7 fucking dollars. God, life is too short to worry about 7 fucking dollars. Faggots. It rules cuz i cancelled my phone so the creditors can't call me to ask me for money. Somehow they finally got my cellphone and i just said “i already paid it, go fuck yourself” and hungup.

I also get a lot of hate email too. This is the best. Cuz thats what the internet is for. Hatemail and porn. Check out this masterpiece, of course, without a name, because that would be giving away waaaaaaaaaayy too much.

Hrm… sometimes for torture, I read your site. No, that's not a joke. I seriously hate you.

This is most likely a girl i had sex with and then stopped talking to. Or it's Annie. But Annie likes to stalk me in a more up front manner, by using different aim names to try to get me to talk to her.

I'm just begging you guys, please, sign your name. Would make it so much better.

Old School Sunday Strikes Again

We get our first drinks and we see the girl. But it's a guy. In a dress. At the 97% black K107 Jams Old School Sunday night. We called him over and started talking to him. Turns out he's making a website about his journey to America. We exchange aim names and url's, buy him a Jack and Coke and then he disappeared.

We finally leave at god knows what hour and I take Chad's car keys so he can't drive. I can't figure out how to move his seat forward so i'm barely able to touch the peddles. I woke up this morning with a empty beer bottle in my bed.


god, i hope chad made the drive home okay because he has all the pics from last night on his camera

teaser66: drinks, ohhhh wait, ian’s bartending now isnt he
oldschoolsundayTOAD: ian was the white dude?

ugh, drank at hardrock, home now yay gonna throw up

Technology @ Work

Technology at work:
Toad putting in a tracking number at to see that his camera battery is OUT FOR DELIVERY. He instantly turns down the Tori, gets up to see if the UPS man left him a note on the door. From past experiences he learned he cannot hear anyone knock on the door with music playing, so he then props the front door open.

Technology not at work:
Toad receiving a email last night while drunk that said his noon meeting was cancelled. Then going out and getting plastered and thinking his 10:30am meeting is for noon so he can sleep in.

I can’t decide if the best part was when i woke up and instantly knew i fucked up or when my dad called a few minutes later to ask me how the meeting went. The joys of working with family….

For those wondering, yesterday was down, along with every website i’ve ever made. It came back to life sometime last night. Mad props to Darrel and his skillz for getting PHP to come to life.

The Lessons Of Life

For example, yesterday i learned that it is a bad idea to shave after wake and baking. Stupid one hitter. Stupid Mach 3….

Then this morning, all hungover and hungry from the night before, i wake up and remember i have to put a car up on ebay. I’m setting up the pictures, etc and i accidently include the bloody chin picture with the pictures of the car.

So i paste the ebay link to boar and a few other friends and their like “Is the picture of you bleeding supposed to be on the auction?”. I scream, hit Revise Auction, remove the bloody chin pics and learn that i shouldn’t sell cars on ebay within a hour of waking up.