don’t even need to mention about how sorry i am i never update, how hungover i was, how i drank, blah blah, read below updates if you want the details, all is about the same.

went to outback tonight. good steaks for decent prices….i don’t have a grill….anyway…our waiter was overly helpful.. coming by constantly, the manager coming by, another guy that i thought was the manager, coming by…

then i ask for a box for my food.

he helps himself to my food, scooping in what he wishes into my box.

kinda weird.

in ihop you get a box and a check thrown at you.

i like that.

instead this guy is jerking me off with my steak, then asking me if i want the mashed potatoes too. seriously, he asked that.

im almost afraid to eat it again.

calling it gay would be a inaccurate term because a gay waiter, or hair dresser, knows when to use his/her skills. this guy took a different route.

it’s cool tho. i’d rather have someone over waiterly then under waiterly. he’s just going by the scripts he was taught, putting them where they should, waiting for a response.

goddamn call centers.

high heels

last night i tried on the heels.

it was one of those “spur of the moment” kind of things but then the next morning you look at them like “hmmm woops”

i can’ t decide if this is better or worse then the dress incident last weekend

ugh it’s only thursday

weekend update on a tuesday


so i have a friend of mine that had a encounter with a young woman. she was having transitions. so she gave him a drawer full of shoes, clothes, etc, a dry erase board, SEVERAL framed pictures, jewerly and best of all, a old photo/scrap/ book of pictures her growing up, hair from her first haircut, ribbons from sports, EVERYTHING.

i am fascinated instantly.

even tho i don’t think she has mentioned it, my girlfriend is slightly nervous.

by the end of the night i am destroyed on pills and whiskey, strutting around the apartment wearing her dress, jewerly. Her pictures of her and random people are decorated around the apartment. Her candles that she left in the back of his seat were lit.

ive struggled figuring out how to work a “then i put on her clothes” update but i think i might have done it justice.

in retrospect, i think what fascinated(i guess still fascinates since im wearing one of her necklaces still(kindaspooky)), is the fact that she gave up her childhood picture book. i am fascinated with every memory, often sugarcoating them until they are okay to recollect. She just threw them away to someone who she thought was going to throw them away.

Instead he let his psycho friend take it and further desocrate your memories in a life that isn’t over yet.


Moral of the story?

Since everyone who was there that night has a hore army account, plz comment below.

stab cut stab cut stab cut stab cut

gawd so fucking bored or something. been sitting here all day, maybe done a hour or two of work….then comes the whiskey….

after a few drinks i get a call from a client asking if i can put a logo on their site. i tell them i have to charge the a minimum of one hour of work which is $75 but i tell her i’ll do it for $50 since working on their site is like making love to a beautiful woman.

after a few seconds of silence and a nervous laugh she says that is fine.

we need a new war

i’ve gotten to the point where i can’t even find anyone who supports the war on iraq. kinda makes having a opinion on it pointless….

i guess it couldn’t be that hard to go out to a local bar(i do live in memphis) and find someone who thinks iraqis were on the planes in 9/11…..they were from fucking saudi arabia.

if they had been north koreans then we would have invaded north korea instead of afghanistan and iraq…..but saudi arabia is our alley so hmm…

nevermind, it’s pointless at this point


i really hate the internet sometimes. the livejournal flame war drama bullshit has never been my cup of tea. “im writing this post in response to another post in response to my post” crap is definetely reserved for anyone who hasn’t graduated yet.

this is just classic tho.

valerie went out of town with a married couple of hers, who im going to just leave nameless. they got back last night and found their apartment had been robbed.

we’re both like “omg that sucks” after reading about all the stuff that was stolen. when valerie calls to give a sympathetic ear, they accuse me of breaking into their apartment. their reasons for this? they said they found a crackhore sticker in the ashtray, even tho the whole apartment had been trashed. i had left stickers on their coffee table before they left.

the other reasons why toad had to have done this was because whoever broke into their apartment knew how to unplug a laptop. yeah, definetely guilty.

first of all they live in the Country Squire. that place is so great because it lulls people into this false sense of security. they figure since they live in Cordova that they arn’t going to get robbed. i remember friends that lived there getting notes in the mail to be “alert” since there had been 2 rapes in the area. place is a fucking ghetto in disguise. i felt more safe on Haynes then i do there.

it’s weird how numb i am to shit like this. just because my computer room is full of stolen shit doesn’t mean i rob people i know. it makes you wonder how many times you have to chill with someone before they consider you above a stranger.

it’s times like this i really appreciate my really healthy sense of perspective. i mean i totally understand their point of view. i think thats really the numbing agent in my life that always come to play when im accused of robbing people who i thought were my friends.

best part about the whole thing is they both posted to their livejournals that they were going to new orleans for the weekend. geezus fucking christ. whenever i leave town i make no mention of it on this terrible site BECAUSE im afraid of you memphis fucks robbing me.

with blogs, or anything like this, you have to remember there are sick fucks that read your site out of spite. you can kinda do that if you have just moved, but if you’ve lived in the same place for a long enough time line and then start talking about your vacation then shit…..

oh well, guess im still just a stranger

fuck um

howdy neighber

This sunday i went to the ballet with my mom. This is a long standing tradition on mother’s day, watching my sister dance and making me sit thru it. It’s like the easy mother’s day gift tradition.

Anyway, i had spent the entire night before drinking, getting home around 6. The phone rings at noon and i stumble outside, puke while marla does her business, then it’s shower time.

A quick beer on the way to their house and then it’s off to the ballet. I sleep thru most of first half, eyes opening barely after each act when everyone claps.

During the intermission, i quickly find a place to sit down and procede to stare lustfully at all the young girls. A man wearing shorts and gray hair walks up to me and says “hey, you’re my neighber!”. I look up and say “Naw i think your mistaken” but before i get half the sentence out he goes “yeah, you live on Hawthorne, next to us”


I immediately start apoligizing for all the terrible things they’ve had to deal with living next to our diaster of a apartment. Then it turns out that his daughter is a good friend of my sister. I get pulled over to talk with his wife and daughter when the mom goes “Oh hey, yeah ive been meaning to ask you, is that dog ok?”

Now what she’s referring to is a incident about a month ago. While i was in San Diego and ian and brooks were having their usual fight, she packs up and leaves like usual. But she somehow manages to RUN OVER HER OWN DOG with her Cadillac Escalade. Now since i wasn’t there(thank god) i have no idea how you can manage to run over your own dog with your own car but somehow it happened.

The neighber said she had never heard anything so terrific, a dauschound howling in pain at 3am, underneath their bedroom. I tell her that the dog actually lived but has been terribly mangled since. She then asks if ian’s girlfriend(who is a stripper) goes to Rhodes college. Since this is at a ballet i miss up a great opportunity to say “oh yeah she’s a dancer, just like your daughter” but i was kinda hungover and didn’t think of it until afterwards.

I explained to her that we were moving out at the end of the month and that her property value will probably be going up since the diaster next to her is leaving.

I saw her this morning when i went out to get the paper and waved. She waved back.