you could have a job if you really wanted one

last night i left my meeting at the coffee shop, after successfully landing the client, i felt like maybe having a drink. i stop at zinnies, have a beer, get a sandwich to go and stop at andrew and jana’s to annoy them.

once i started shaking, i figured i guess it’s time to head out. i visit andy(different from andrew) downtown. i drink lots of beer. i don’t count.

Around 1am a bunch of very attractive women roll in. You know how mid 20 chicks hangout in packs with maybe 1 dude, completely own the juke box, dance, drink and not leave tips.

well, a very tall blonde, named umm….fuck…im pretty sure it was christine, maybe…anyway, she notices me watching her dance and takes that as a reason to come up and talk to me.

the normal “who are you, what do you do” bullshit goes on. I explain that i make websites and am homeless. I drink constantly, only because it fuels the never ending fetish of websites. The basic run down.

Now her and this other random guy have been listening to me rant about how apartments and houses are “old school” and how being unemployed and homeless is definetely the way to roll.

I pause for a second and she starts. She’s 25 and a social worker. Uh Oh. I get a 30 minute speech from her and the guy, who has my phone number, who says he won’t remember, but says he might be able to find me web work.

I need to stop talking to strangers.

The whole time andy is listening to this argument im having with a social worker and a um…i dunno exactly what he was when he finally closes down the bar.

It gets kinda blurry after that. From what i remember i drove andy home, took one last beer from his fridge, drank that when i got home in bed.

Boots still on, still drunk at 11am when the Memphis Business Journal calls. They want me to pay $700 to advertise in their next major issue. So glad it went to voicemail. I can see that conversation right now.

$700? YEAH SURE, HOLD ON, LEMME JUST REACH OVER HERE INTO MY MAGIC DRAWER OF MONEY AND GET THAT FOR YOU, DO YOU TAKE CASH?

god.

Should have asked her if could advertise but work off the $700 by cleaning the memphis business journal offices every night when everyone leaves.

hate memphis, hate business, hate hangovers, hate social workers