what you’ve stolen i would have given for free

i love how life is fixing itself…..i’m just along for the ride….i try to make the calls and emails but you can’t make everyone happy….

seriously been thinking about selling the business….i have to wait at least a year tho…it’s like hitting on a teenager before she’s 18 at this point….

oh well..

i just gotta keep going at this point……sure, my body, mind and soul want to give up but i just don’t want to give up….everything will be easier in a month…..

it will be….i know it….

it was pretty weird going back to memphis…people having kids, buying houses, going on with their lives….it’s weird but seeing peter’s kid has motivated me to stay focused….i don’t have a child but seeing people have them is just incredible….one of the most surreal moments of my life…

it’s time to go back to the box…i better save this

i like pain

okay i think i get it now, i like doing things the hard way.

today has been a example of that.

i woke up after….a evening.

i’m heading out to st bernard to help a non for profit. i do this stuff because i like to.

they have lots of cable hanging from the ceiling. now it’s kinda ironic cuz my dad ran a business that did cabling and i still even bear that name. but i can’t fucking cable. i can throw it, kinda get it together but to see a project come to um…..working…i dunno, maybe i helped but not like “here ya go”. I always had help.

so fast forward like 6 years and now im st bernard, basically ground zero. it’s bad.  this place is just totally fucked after the storm. still. even my hood has started building up again….

they have a room full of computers…cat5 hanging from the ceiling. they got a wire stripping tool, no crimper…..i take care of stuff that looks bad…i put the power strips, etc on the ground…..i plug in routers and get shit pretty much ready when the guy shows up with the wire stripper….

i strip the wires and i use a existing cat5 patch cable as a guide on how i should add the plugs on these wires. finally, i’m about to start but it doesn’t feel right.

i grab my phone which is about to die and call databit. he looks it up and says “no, i know thats the way it looks but this the way it is”. I argue with him, the cable im looking at looks different. I yell at cat5 wires for a few minutes then remember i have my laptop. i take apart my phone and put the sim card into my laptop and get online. he sends me the link. okay he’s right.

i am never signing up for bomb squad. i hate wires so much.

i eventually get a ride home from st bernard after setting up this nightmare of a network. stripping cat5 in a warehouse/community center, hands wet from sweat and sin….it’s sad how much i just hate doing anything that involves anything but a keyboard and a mouse…..besides sex……what is becoming of our race.

as my friend andboy said….if you’re going to make a oamlet, you have to do things you don’t really want to do…

tool birth

Peter called me today to tell me Kristy and him were on their way to the Tool concert. She’s 9 months pregnant, about to drop at any minute. Now they have lots of walking, loud sounds and vibrations….this kid is going to be born in a Tool concert. Everyday on this day we will celebrate a holiday in honor of this holy miracle.

meanwhile my friend, lets call her katy, is texting me asking me whether or not she should take a roll before the tool show. i’m telling her i think it’s a bad idea but i’m kinda past my whole “lets do drugs in public” stage….i dunno tho, whatever works. i want a full update from her tomorrow on how the show was…..

i’m having these conversations while sitting in my little cubicle with my little tie on. fuckers. it’s like couples calling me after they’ve had sex….thanks…you go up to crippled people and make fun of their wheelchairs? oh well, im not bitter….my life sucks because i made it this way 🙂

on a lighter note i now have a home office. my chair and desk came today….nola irish peter helped me put together the chair….i didn’t have the energy to fuck with the desk….saving that for a day off….it’s gonna be nice to have a real setup again….been a while…

i just need to get a mattress and a box springs and i’ll be a real boy….and maybe some curtains…..and a car….and a washer and dryer….other then that…

on a completely different note, i want to give a shout out to jenn. she doesn’t read this site, no one she knows reads this site, but she saved my ass. she took about 5 hours out of her life and i dunno how many miles on her car to help me out of a real bind. i talk about how lonely i am in new orleans and how i really gotta meet more real friends but casual work buddies don’t help each other out unless they’re good people.

i don’t know who all reads this and if they are out to get me so i’m not going into details but i really appreciate the help.

i sang a lot today

i mean song after song….seriously sang like 5 songs….it was great…..just kept giving me the microphone…so much whiskey…..i sang, the policy of truth, the humpty dance, what i got, and then i basically kinda blacked out. i did a lot of madonna….i showed nipple…i woke up on the floor of my apartment.

i love singing

went and sang downtown today……did like 4 songs…..the karaoke lady had a crush on me…i know it…..i did some magic tho…..humpty dance…….what i got….the policy of truth….

i had a portrait done in jackson square….gonna send it to my mom……it turned out pretty good…..im going to build her a website in trade…. i want more…rules…

ugh i need to eat some sleeping pills and go to back to sleep……it’s time to buy a bed…

you’ll be too busy to sue her for damages

im  not making any promises but you still got that webdesign…..

ive decided sleep is just another drug. i’ve been sleeping on my couch a lot but i really can’t get that good rem. the plus side is im waking up at like 7:30am and getting a great start on my evilness.

i’m interviewing another webdesigner at 10:30am and working with a church on their website at 1:30pm. i am the web christ, set upon the earth to create to design and develop.

and when i say design and develop, i mean outsource.

i have a cellphone full of leet ass fucking people. so you and your website problem better stay the fuck out my way.

i didn’t go to the brothel last night. this would have been a much better update if i had…but god..by 7pm yesterday i was “i killed a hooker” drunk. i walked home. sucked.

work life is starting to consume me. a lot of people tell me it’s just “greed”. i’m working 11-12 hour days, dreaming about designs, everything. i’ve hired a new guy matt who seems leet enough. i told him that my company is trial by fire, if you can find stuff to do i will pay you a fraction of what the client is paying.

the idea is to surround myself with people. lots of them. these people need things and my people will help them. but we are all evil. every last one of us. i drank enough whiskey yesterday to kill a family of 2.5.

i can’t wait to cut to the new tori amos. this album rules *wink*

i don’t like the websites but the websites like me.


i have a very static pattern with my french quarter drinking. i go down with a group of people and usually end up leaving them to go hunt. i find a target female and sit and talk with her for a while but usually end up haivng most of my conversation with the very neutral people around me. last night while staring at a somewhat attractive little barmaid but end up talking with the couple from houston with their 4-5 year old daughter who’s asleep at the bar. they even have pictures of her a beer in front of her with her head down.

i really should have called or texted wes. i just rolled out. it’s so typical. he even said, “you have a habit of just leaving.” and i do. and i did. i really need to start being better to everyone.

oh well, it’s 9am on a saturday. i need to start up some music, shower, shave, and own.

drugs girls blah blah couch furniture meat

so all day today im walking around with a jump drive of pics of my new artwork. everyone has seen it, the janitors, even the people in norfolk virgina who had to remote into my machine to fix it. I’m on the phone with them and they’re like “omg what is that?” and i have to explain the whole story to both the techs i had online. The one sounded pretty cute but of course she has to drop the H word. I’m pretty sure flirting over monitored phone lines might be bad in well…a lot of ways.

I think ive decided im not going to hang it above my couch. It might have to be something in the kitchen part of the living room. So it looks somewhat normal. I decided im going to spraypaint something on it, like “bad dog” or “life feeds on life”. Splash some paint on it and make it “completed”.

i really don’t think anyone gets my fascination with it and trust me, i asked everyone at work today.  I just can’t say enough about my creepy meat art tho.

OMG omg omg aodmflakd

Wow so i was taking my trash down to my trashcan this morning and this was on the street corner. I have NO idea where the fuck this came from. I quickly drag it up my steps, laughing manically. I HAVE to find out how to mount this on my wall. I have found/stolen/bought a lot of art in my time but this is like finding the Mona Lisa.

My day can only go downhill from finding this.