either eat the unisom or cut the wrists

last night my alarm on my phone goes off at 9:30pm, saying “Take yo unisom!”

i spent a hour and a half at the gym, already kinda drunk so i say “naw i don’t need it tonight”.

fast forward to 5am, i’m emailing my boss saying “i’m not coming in till late”.

i get woken up at 9am by the contractors. i thought, sweet, i didn’t sleep too late.

i leave the apartment at 10, at my desk at 10:30am. most people get there at 7am. i tell people i work the “alternate work week”.

the bonus today tho. i’m so tired when i leave the apartment, i leave my glasses! i realize this in the elevator and realize i went from having a bad day to something that’s going to suck a lot.

this is a little piece of advice for the few people who still read this. if you hold down control and use the scroll nipple on your mouse, you can make text bigger in a lot of programs.

remember this.

best part is i get into work and there is a email about something i did yesterday. they want more changes. half blind, half asleep, i crank out the changes in a few minutes and email them and say it’s all good.

mad skillz, i has them.

this day was pretty miserable. almost bad enough to where i want to keep a set of glasses at work.

i can’t believe how much shit i got done without really seeing what was going on.

here is the best part, kelly offers to take me by my apartment while we’re picking up lunch. i reach back for my keys, naw, back at the office.

gets better. i get on my bike and leave for work and it’s a little more dark then usual, oh yeah, no glasses.
we go to the gym, work out, etc. i don’t need glasses yet.
i ride home in the dark.   there isn’t any food in the apartment so i stop by the daiquiri shop for some of their amazing wings. and you can’t stop there without getting a daiquiri. i order a small with 2 shots of everclear. i bike home with the food balancing on the bars and the drink switching from hand to hand. not a drop spilt.
it was worth almost breaking my neck. i couldn’t find the straw they gave me so i used 3 normal straws. my poor drink died a quick death. so it goes.

i took the right path tonight and i’m going to be in bed by 11.

something has to change, undeniable dilemnia

i think i’ve reached up the peak of working in a office. you get these 48 hour breaks every “weekend” then it’s back to wasting away in the cubicle. you wake up before you want to get up and have that eternal conversation with yourself “why am i doing this again?”.

the golden handcuffs that you have the key to.

so you get off work, go to the gym to work out all the angry energy you’ve built pacing around in the box. you get home and see the sink of dishes that need to be washed, get your clothes and shit ready for the next day, eat dinner, maybe read a little or watch a movie if you’re feeling extra crazy.

then it just starts all over again.

the worst part is the more you stick to the routine you start getting this forced deja vu from the day before. one week i cooked my oatmeal at the same time as this woman. asks me how i’m doing, i respond with a standard “not well”.

after a few days i was hearing Everyday Is Exactly The Same playing in my head and had to start coming in a little later because it was really starting to eat at me.

however, the wonderful woman that sits next to me at work has offered to watch marla while i go to memfist for christmas. marla is pretty well behaved, for the most part but i’m still buying them a HUGE bottle of vodka. i really don’t trust leaving marla at a vet here.

there is something you have to understand about new orleans. before the storm shit was broken but now it’s just terrible. i barely trust them to cook my food here but they seem to excel at that.
but basic city services like stop lights, doctors, street lights…i just don’t even want to risk what a post katrina new orleans kennel. she’d be better off left here with a food bowl with timer, a newspaper and a huge bowl of water.

all the great things in life

sitting here at my desk watching some newsgroup porn, watching the yahoo sports live update on the saints game(i don’t have a antenna for the lcd tv), smoking and drinking. i need a 3rd monitor.

i’m trying to decide if i should stop, pause or close the porn when kelly gets here with the fried chicken.

last night i went to dinner with her and her mom then went to storyville where the jager monster came out. i really don’t remember the cab ride home. body just on autopilot.

not really looking forward to going into work tomorrow.

turn around

here is your toad mental image of the day…

i woke up this morning pretty early…kelly is meeting her mom to go furniture shopping so she has to leave early. i force some morning sex on her, even tho it’s late. i get up and stroll to the computer, turn the monitors on.

sam had been msging me last night. his aim window is full of total eclipse of the heart lyrics.

i hit youtube and have the song blaring within a few seconds, singing along and not missing a single verse.

head laying on the glass desk, looking really dramatic.

every now and then i fall apart.

she looks over and can’t stop laughing. pulling on her “i heart chocolate city” tshirt and jeans, laughing at her melodramatic boyfriend sitting naked at the computer singing total eclipse of the heart to himself.

the more things change the more things stay the same.

i’m meeting her and her mom for dinner tonight after they go shopping. this is a much more difficult situation then thanksgiving. with holiday situations there is so much static, so many people all talking, turkey, deserts. i’ve never actually done anything like this before. mothers tend to love me.

i have the entire morning and afternoon to myself….i should do everything and nothing


elvis is just like jesus to me, yeah sure probably existed but i didn’t see a show so i don’t get it.

and just like elvis, jesus would forgive me if i didn’t believe in him but saw lots of monuments to his greatness.

i can’t decide who i just insulted which makes this a win update.

hail elvis.


i love this time of year. i’m meeting kelly’s family thursday, i have 3 company parties in december…then i go to memphis for christmas and then new years. and then mardi gras.

then i will have settled into 2008 with severe liver damage and hopefully a girlfriend that still loves me.

this is the 1st year i’m throwing a company holiday party for my own company. it’s like throwing a normal party with kegs and drugs but…with work. i’ve been trying to pull this off and not look like a idiot. i close my eyes and imagine it going off perfectly. i look at every detail and memorize it. then i put it into this huge manic crazy to do list with circles, squares, stars and lots of lines.

it’s so cheesey but if you can hallucinate your perfect dream and remember enough details, it might not get the results you wanted but it’ll get the results you imagined…if you can’t think of it then you fucked up and you have to deal with it. you can’t predict last minute stuff. thats when your true skills get tested. we all have the same tools, the internet and a cell phone.

hail darwin