i didn’t puke today

So this is like day 7 of my post valerie bender and i didn’t puke today.  Ate twice too. Get in my way now.

Last night’s drinking activities really deserve a update tho. I went to Neils with Wes, Christy, and Lev. For karaoke.  That’s basically all the ingredidents for a hangover and puking just right there.

We get there early and the pitcher beer starts with fury.  Lev opened up with some terrible song that you’d normally only hear in a doctor’s or dentist’s office waiting room. I’m actually glad i can’t even remember the title. Yay for beer.

I pick a classic, a song i’ve never mutilated before. I pick Silverchair’s Tomorrow. Awesome song, been listening to it a lot already for some weird reason so it was really classic. I got a lot of cheers too, like the toad stage show really worked. There was lots of dancing and growling.   The rule of thumb with karaoke(and the first chapter of Toad’s Guide To Karaoke) is that if you you can’t hit a note, go the exact opposite direction.  With karaoke there is usually lots of drinking involved, but it’s so important.  If it goes high, just growl it out. Think death metal.

Anyway, after i perform karaoke abortion on stage at Neils, Levi(not Lev) calls me.  He’s around the corner at the Full Moon Club.  He wants me to come up.  I have no choice.  At this point i’m too drunk to wait around for my second song to be called(tori amos – caught a light sneeze). I wait for him in the parking lot and get in his tight ass Eclipse and somewhere along Madison the beer comes back for a sequel.

Puking out the window as we drive down the street, we arrive at the parking lot.  About 50 “omg sorry lol”‘s and wiping the puke off the side of his car with my hoody, we head into the bar.

I’ll say this for Levi and Rachel.  They have seen me at my worst, just over and over the last week. I really owe them. It’s really fucked up going into a bar smelling of vomit. Like totally impossible to talk to anyone without them going “wow rough night?”. Luckily i don’t remember talking to anyone so hopefully theres nothing to regret.

Levi and Rachel sleep on the couch again. He had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn this morning and go recruit for the army since he’s back from Iraq and i guess they make them try to get people to sign up while back. Dunno how that works, you either wanna do that shit or you don’t, it’s as simple as that.

I wake up around noon feeling pretty good since i puked up most of the evil Neils beer and only had 1-2 at the full moon club.  I stumble to my meeting at the Celtic Crossing and drink possibly the best new castle i’ve ever had. I really have to be a sight when i go to a meeting. I wonder if people get offended that im drinking at 1pm. I’ve never had anyone comment on it i bet at least one person has been slightly……concerned that their website fate is up to me. Fuck it, the work speaks for itself. You can leave it or love it.

After my meeting my mom takes pity on me and picks me up and takes me to get a haircut.  I walk into the Fantastic Sams on Madison which i usually choose to fix my hair train wrecks.  I walk in and look around and don’t see my normal chick.  I write down my info and say to the 2 girls there “Please, i really need you to fix my orange afro, i need to look cute again”. 

The one hair stylist, a really attractive, tall beautiful creature turns to me without missing a beat and says “Look, I’m not a miracle worker”. I’m in total shock and i think i revert to complete honestly and go “Look im having problems with my girlfriend right now and my self esteem is in the gutter, I’ll walk to Dabbles and let some gay guy tell me i’m cute”.

She ends up giving me one of the better haircuts i’ve had. I had people tell me i looked good tonight. The problem is with haircuts is like “yeah of course i look better then i did before, i looked like shit!!!!”.

I had a lot of fun at Sidestreet tonight. It’s amazing how many beautiful women really exist out there. I’ve really enjoyed talking to people so much more lately, like almost on a whole other level. The problem is i’ve kinda forgotten who i am, what i say, how i dress and what is polite and okay to say the first time you’re talking to a girl, or anyone. In Toad’s Guide To Dating, which is is coming soon, says you should NOT mention to a friend of yours, in front of a girl, that her article of clothing makes you think about choking her. Choking = bad. Make a note of it.

Thank god the music was loud enough to where she said “what’d you say” and i go “oh nothing” and luckily it didn’t end up in her getting up and sitting somewhere else. Fucking new castle. I need to make a effort at  not saying fucked up things to people you don’t know.  That’s what im going to give up for lent.  Saying fucked up things to people i don’t know while drunk.

What’s even better is i know she knows about crackhore so theres a really bad possibility that next time i see her she’s going to be like “choking huh? :(”

But as my good friend Andyboy always says, you gotta choke a few girls to make a umm…omelette?