my site sucks so bad

since my redesign and confusing layout, im sure i have the lowest viewers ever. i guess since this is the slow decline of my site, i’d like to give my own eulogy.

if that’s okay with all of you.

hmm, crackhore.com started so long ago, my little outlet to rant and rave. So many drunk drives home, so many drunk updates, who would have ever throught we’d get this far?

i think i’ve gotten to the autumn of my years. i imagine the tears of my family as they stand around my little jar of ashes..

whoa anyway. I have a Dell poweredge 1650 laying on my pink couch right now. Just chilling, waiting to be all up on it. The adventure which lead me to the server must be told. Unless you close the window.

Which you’re not.

Yet.

Anyway, i acquired a webserver from a random web hosting company from memphis. If i come off with being vague then you’re feeling it correctly. It was shady from the start, going in, asking for a server, talking to someone on your cell while talking to someone in real life, it all finally making sense and you walking out with a computer under one arm. It’s hard to explain that you want one specific computer in one specific rack to someone who is thinking “who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you want one of the computers in our server room?”

I finally get out into the parking lot, huge, heavy Dell server under one arm, stuff it in the back of my car and drive slowly back home.

Trading work for webservers.

Since the whole deal was legit we started thinking about what i should have done, since the whole time i looked awfully “kevin mitnick, give me your dell cuz i said so”.

Cullen said i should have made sure everything was legit, get a few feet from the door, start laughing then break into full sprint and run out the door laughing.

I keep thinking, how awesome it would be to pull pranks on people in the computer business wearing chemical biohazard suits picking up servers or dressing up like uniformed police officers and trying to barge into some random ISP’s server room.

Maybe in the next update.