After a intresting 3 day drive across the country, i am now a Californian. Sure, i don’t have a apartment, house or any other form of residence but tonight i have plans to purchase a Palm Pilot and find a cardboard box to live in. Luckily, until this cardboard box is found, which will be called the HoreBoxâ„¢ the owner of usian.org has allowed me to take residence up on his couch. We watched porn last night together which was really strange, am i the only one who feels weird watching porn with another guy? I always thought porn was a “one guy only” thing but not everyone feels that way. Oh well.
Many of you are requesting a editorial or project after my roadtrip out here. I’ll put it to you this way, my life is very very intresting and strange and this trip was basically one of the strangest occasions of my life. I can’t decide if i want to tell all my viewers or not because i know family members read this site and im not sure if i want them knowing about this particuliar adventure because well, this one was strange. My sidekick Ian came up with the idea to write out the project, with the photos i took and make a secret link and have people msg me for the link, therefore bypasses and family toad members viewing my version of Fear And Loathing.
I was getting really good at putting a picture up with each update but considering Hore3 is unplugged and is basically a cupholder until i find a new apartment worth being the new Crackcaveâ„¢, i won’t have any pictures up soon and not as many updates. Alot of you are having trouble understanding this. The way the internet works is you need a computer to update your site. One time at a bar i wrote a update on a napkin, including html tags and CSS and threw it up in the air thinking that it would be up on the page that instant. It didn’t. In fact i got yelled at.
I have a bunch of really good ideas for editorials and im keeping a nice list of them so they will eventually be created but im running into that problem again where i need a computer to write them so give me a few weeks. These are dark days of the crackhore.com so just chill out, read some old editorials and maybe go for a walk outside or something.
mp3 of the day: Baja Men – Who Let The Dogs Out.mp3
coolguyrna: something is bad, something is not working on this
Skating was a bad idea but pretty good in retrospect. My body is so angry at me right now, it’s 5am and i can’t sleep. I hid the xanex from myself because the last time i had one i ended up talking about some pretty strange stuff. I actually think im depressed, too bad too cuz these past few days have been great. Geez, it’s 5am, i should just stay up all night, everytime i close my eyes i feel sick. Hmm, i wish i could find that damn xanex. I love looking around this apartment and thinking of all the crazy insane things that have happened here. Someday when my children are reading a archived version of this on some ancient child of the DVD, they’ll understand why they can’t drink alcohol because my DNA probably altered this weekend from all the beer. Hehehe, wow i get pretty creative when im really really tired. My aim list is so depressing at 5am, the only one awake is WildBoarz and he mostly ignores me.
Spider is gone and he owes me some money. I think some of my friends killed him. I’m not really sure how i should feel about it. Oh well.
Im gonna go visit Rain one more time tommorow to see how my little devil cat is doing. Rain was such a great portion of my life. I never knew how much evil could flow out of a little calico kitten. I remember one time i accidently left a A Perfect Circle cd playing the entire day while i was at work while Rain was in the apartment. Do you think a kitten could be effected by that music or are they just a lower species? Wow i should get some sleep, hehe. I think i’ll try again.
God, still drunk, updating page. Big party, toad becomes blood brothers with that guy i kissed. I kissed alot of guys at the party. Met girl who was a red head and a lesbian. i think she wanted me regardless. I got hit by a car lastr night downtown and then went back to the party cuz i didn’t have any beer at my apartment. Yes, im a alcoholic, yes i am comfortable with it.
I’m starting to worry that im not going to sober up. I was drunk, skated and got hit by a car, mostly sober, went back to party, drank more, then it’s all blurry but im sure that cute lesbian wanted me. Lesbians kinda depress me because they make alot of eye contact, dance and pretend like they like guys but then BAM! Im gay, sorry. I hate America. Still drunk though. Stupid lesbians, well not stupid, just confused, how can anyone not like me? Seriously tho. Oh well, pretty lesbian girl named…..Monica, i know you love me and you can message me from my page from that link to the left. I’ll be waiting.
It’s nights like this that make my mother worry about me.
And she should.
I need to go to bed, i only slept for a few hours and i think i kinda just passed out from alcohol poisoning/blood loss. Did i spell poisoning right? Crap, oh well, Julie, my future boss, if you’re reading this, i only do this on the weekend and im always sober by the time i get to work, really.
I’m glad im leaving Memphis. After four days of drinking, skating, and drinking and cutting and drinking i am finally sober. I have no idea how much money i spent or/and what i’ve drank in the past few days, but i am sober now. But i remember some of the stories, ehhehe.
Last night, 4am, im driving home from the last bar of the evening. I have a box of unopened wine in the backseat of my car along with lots of skating equipment. A friend of mine Spider is walking across the street and i scream and open the door and motion him to get in. He gets in, i floor it, we go over a curb and into this little field near my apartment. It’s not a big field, just like a pseudo front yard for the nicer apartments that are next to me but it’s just a fairly nice sized courtyard, yeah, a courtyard without anything but grass. The Horemobileâ„¢ tears through there and im slamming on the breaks and turning the wheel at 90 degree angles and spinning around and screaming along with the NIN playing in the car. Then we went to a Sessels because Taco Bell was closed. As we were walking around the well-lit grocery store, i kick over a advertisement board and scream “IM CASTORTOAD, YOU WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!”. Thats when we left with our TV dinners.
Wow, i drank alot this weekend.
On another note, a friend of mine has too much time on his hands so he annoys people on AIM for fun. Here is a log of him scaring some poor innocent child.
I’m not sure if my webpage updates can be used against me in a court of law but im gonna tell this part of the story anyway. Last night while driving home a friend of mine Spider was walking across the street at like 4am. I open the passenger door and tell him to hop in. I floor it, feeling the full power of the Horemobileâ„¢ on my hands with Trent screaming in my ears and i go up over a curb. I’m then doing donuts in a the courtyard going about 50mph and at this point Spider is screaming and i drive back to my apartment and park my car. Im write a editorial about it but i wanted pictures and the big yellow thing that burns my skin is already gone so i’ll do it tommorow, hehe.
So i was updating the page about 2 hours ago when my ex-co-worker Ian kicks in my door(which i keep unlocked) and tells me i am going to get a tattoo with him. Im actually sober at this point, oddly enough, talking to Steve about how fucked our up weekend was. We drive to this man’s house, Fred and in his kitchen we got a tattoo. What Fred does do not tell us is that he has never given a tattoo to anyone except himself. I was really really really nervous, Ian has lots of tattoos and knows how it feels so he isn’t scared at all. I am. My life is intresting.
Had a intresting night last night, ended up drinking at a local bar and decided to go for a late evening skate while drunk, a fairly common activity in my life, something about how i hate to fall asleep while drunk because i have dreams about demons and such. Anyway. Skating drunk is so great, if you skate at all and drink at all you, you need to combine the two. I was jumping up on curbs that i normally would have been afraid to do but since i was drunk and fearless, i could do them! Problem is sometimes my skillz don’t keep up with my drunk so i fell off a 3 foot platform and now have a huge bruise on my back. But i was drunk so it didn’t matter! woohoo! Michelob Skating Team! Haha. Anyway, i was skating back to the Horemobileâ„¢ and i decided to cut through the park. There was a homeless looking guy sitting on a bench reading a big book. I asked him if it was The Bible and he said yes so i ended up sitting down next to him and talking to him for the next 3 hours. We talked about life, Vietnam, society, love, women breaking our hearts, music, everything. At one point i went and bought us some cigars and we sat like true Southern Gentlemen and talked about how wonderful life really is. I look at my life after nights like that, the huge bruise on my back, the sick feeling in my stomach from all the beer and wonder, i am Jesus?
I don’t know if this is really a confession or not but i have like 400 stolen signs construction equipment in my apartment now. Since im moving im not sure what to do with all of it, it’s too much to fit in the back of the Horemobileâ„¢ for my trip so i think i may just throw them out on street in front of my house and play dumb.
It was funny hanging out with coolguy in LA. This guy had never met me before in real life and it was intresting to see the subtle differences in my personality from real world to…..the Internet. He, of course, said he always imagined me as taller(thanks) and i always imagined him with a bigger dick. That showed him, hehe. Oh, haha, here is a great image to wake up to one morning. That’s the owner of Usian.org trying to kill me with a lamp while i was asleep.
Coolguy decided that leaving Us_ and I alone in his nicely furnished apartment for more the 8 hours without making sure i had the proper amount of beer to keep me drunk so we decided to do some redecorating. Our original plan was to chunk the loveseat off the balcony but we decided since Coolguy got a little pissed when we threw his phonebook off the balcony the night earlier, he may not appreciate us throwing his furniture off his 2 story apartment, so we just moved it all around. Thats me laying on the floor watching Seven, hehe.
My LA trip was fun, lots of fun things happened. I learned if you mix acid and beer you can climb buildings and scare the hell out of every single person you meet during that. Anyway, i wake up with Ian knocking on my door and making me come to eat with him. We end up going to tracks, drink 2 double rum and cokes each, drive to Best Buy and return a harddrive, then came the tequlia shots. Had 2 of them, decided it wasn’t enough so polished off the risk of the Whiskey Wednesday whiskey. Then someone who i didn’t expect to call called me. After that phone call it got bad. I took a xanex and washed it down with about half a forty while smoking a illegal substance. Thats it, the night ends there for me. According to everyone i stabbed a pillow, called someone i shouldn’t have called, threw some clothes around and thats all they’ll tell me. Btw, im selling/giving away all my furniture and worldly possesions before my trip, come by, msg me or whatever if you want any of my stuff.
DRUGS ARE BAD.
Well, i take that back. Xanex is bad. Xanex >= Satan. I have NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AFTER A CERTAIN POINT. Man, what the hell…I leave Wednesday for the great city of Las Angeles. The Horemobileâ„¢ tearing across the country with my sidekick Ian to a new life. Maybe then i’ll fade away and not have to face the facts, it’s not easy facing up when your boyfriend is black.
I have ALOT of ideas for the site and im gonna try to force myself to write a editorial everyday, not just rambling and rantings about how my life sucks and i want to kill every girl i ever kissed. Although those are funny too sometimes.
mp3 of the day: Will Smith – Wild Wild West.mp3
CastorToad: if i were to send you flowers where would i…….well no wait, let me rephrase that, if i were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?
I leave for LA today so don’t expect anymore updates for a week. We have a bet that i can sneak Thunderâ„¢ onto the airplane. They don’t think i can. We’ll see.
That was alot harder to steal then i first thought. I had to cut a huge hole in the fence but i got it. Scared the hell out of some homeless people, hehe. Thats a good lesson to all you women walking along in the streets at night, carry a crowbar and some boltculters and no one asks you for spare change.
mp3 of the day: Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy.mp3
Impearljam: last night we were all buzzing, it was like 3 or 4 of us, we were sitting in our beds, and watching national geografic or some shit, when all these fucking africans came on walking on stilts. we were all talking about how we feel sorry for them because we have the internet and put a man on the moon, but there are still africans walking around on fucking stilts
Still homeless, still hungry, still have everything i own in the trunk of my car. I can’t seem to find my digital camera, i may have left it at a friend’s house this weekend or it could be buried under the piles of crap in my backseat. Until then you’re just gonna get text updates, no pics, life sucks, sorry. I know for a while i was having a cool pic with every update and everyone was all happy and smiling and dancing. Well the camera needs to be found again and i need to establish a new CrackCaveâ„¢ so i can find a place to setup Hore3â„¢.
Im kinda worried about something though. I know alot of times apartments want you to put down a huge deposit. I don’t have a bank account in LA yet because i don’t have a apartment. Therefore, i must somehow get a address to get a bankaccount but since i can’t get a bankaccount without a address, im kinda shit out of luck. So have i have this huge cashiers check that i can’t put in a bank account in LA because i don’t have a address. I also heard you need a valid in state driver’s liscense to get a bank account but it’ll be really tough to get a driver’s license without a home address which i can’t get because i won’t have enough money in cash without having a bank account. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I AM GOING TO BE HOMELESS MY ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE THE SYSTEM SUCKS.
Anyway. If you live in the LA area and are cute, please msg me and let me stay at your apartment, please?
mp3 of the day: Whitesnake – Here i go again on my own.mp3
BeEnough: what keeps me off of drugs and alcohol is crackhore.com and its stories.