i really need to buy some shit soon. i mean a computer desk, a bed, a couch for when people come over. i’m not talking surround sound speakers, a tv, a toaster oven or anything. just the basics.
it’s fucked. i either need to move in the next month or buy furniture and nest here. it’s fucked up when you look forward to going to your office because it has more stuff to sit on.

sleeping on a air mattress isn’t that bad. lesser people would bitch about it but i honestly love it.  i’ve noticed when i tell a girl proudly that i sleep on a $40 walmart air mattress, you can suddenly see the look of wonder in her eyes die, along with any wetness she had…anyway..

now that my car is dead thanks to a new orleans manhole cover, i’m pretty much exactly what every woman wants.

i don’t like complicated dates, dinner and drinks. don’t be afraid to message me.


So in the never ending drama of toad’s spin new orleans show, i destroy the oilpan on my car on a manhole cover. Thanks.

I got a ride to work from work with a woman from work who i know goes right past my apartment on the way home. She has no problem giving me a ride. Yay.

She’s salary so she’s there until like 6:30 and at this point i’m starting to go insane. After 10 hours in the little box, you’ve listened to almost everything once and you don’t feel like working anymore.

I hear the eleveator ding and she gets in. Shit, she’s leaving without me. I hit the down button and the other elevator beckons my call. Get down to the lobby, she’s already in the parking lot. I wave my badge at the little sensor that unlocks the door and say “margareeeeeeeeeeeeet”.

She laughs and apoligizes. I go back upstairs and get my phone, jacket, etc and meet her in the parking lot. On the drive back she asks what i’m doing this weekend. I pictured myself sitting in my little blue camping chair in my empty apartment, drinking whiskey, smoking and talking to girls on the internet that i’ll probably never meet.

I just said i didn’t know.

My car situation just seems to get worse and worse. I miss working from home. Oh well. The way things are going i won’t be surprised if i get fired over nothing. I’m washing clothes in my neighbor’s washing machine right now while they are out of town. The problem is their dryer doesn’t work so i’m going to call a cab and have them drive me to the laundrymat where i’ll take over all the dryers.

I’m sure drinking whiskey is going to make this the most wonderful afternoon ever.

thats how i roll

It’s a little early for a crackhore update but i feel like i should put this down before i get distracted.

Today i had to call ****ee, the woman at work who ive been madly in love with since i moved down here. She had a phone number i needed which seemed like a good excuse to call her and hear her sweet voice.

She answers the phone, i tell her i need someone’s phone number. She says “Well, i’m so important that i keep all my phone numbers in a excel spreadsheet, thats how i roll”.

I almost drop the phone and go “Did you just say, thats how you roll?”. She responds with a yes. I regret it now but i blurted out “i love you”. I hope this isn’t brought up at the next company meeting….

can’t get the stink out

Last night i had to buy a razor to shave before…today. I stopped at the Walmart in Northern LA and bought some razors. A remix of Moby’s South Side is playing softly as i pick up a razor.

Standing in line, still just shaking my head, thinking for one second this is the one time my ipod could make a situation more manly.

I shaved my goattee off. Where there was once thought inspiring hair is just cold skin and lies lies lies.

life lessons

If you need to get work done on your car, set an alarm. Do not wake up about noon and go. I wanted to get the transmission flushed in the car for a few weeks and decided to do it today. I get there and the mechanics are on lunch, i’m like “Fuck it, i got my ipod and my phone, i’ll wait”. 5 hours later i leave.

i actually left after a few hours, bought beer and walked around the ghetto listening to music. it’s amazing walking around here seeing how many houses are just empty. entire apartment complexes just abandoned…it’s weird.

this is where you type the title

so the other day ashley started asking me questions i couldn’t really answer.

i came home and she had left a note and all her things were gone.

i’m surprised at my maturity through the whole thing. i would normally stay with girls for months after it was over.

nice clean break…we even talk. i just can’t bring myself to be mad at someone who sees me for what i am.

im glad she left before she started to hate me.

Oh well, now im a swinging bachelor in a apartment with 2 computers on the floor and a inflatable mattress..and a chair….have a few plates too.
There are thousands of girls masturbating to the thought of my apartment, right this second.
But they’re not.

No one is masturbating about you 🙁

I think thats going to be the title of my book.

Anyway, besides my personal life crumbling like the thing that crumbles it is, my side business is going well. I’ve hired 3 women, all of them gorgeous, which are going to help me build websites.

It’s like charlie’s angels.

But in new orleans.

I’m really confident in the 3 i’ve hired. It’s fucked up knowing they will probably read this since you don’t know me long before knowing my dirty secrets. Oh well, better sooner then later.

The team i have now tho is close. A few more craigslist posts from now i’ll have a new business. Everyone gets a few weeks or its done.

Darwin smiles.

we all riot if the saints lose tonight

This is the only answer. Burn and smash if we lose.

I’m finally starting to heal from last week’s race. The pain is starting to feel good which means it’s not just the bright white pain i used to feel hobbling around. I’m going to  try to run again next Sunday and maybe do some kind of something this week. A week off sucks.

On my pirate lifestyle, i have two 2nd interviews with 2 women that might work out. I need to talk with both of them one more time but it’s time to give one of them a try.

the whole class

I didn’t write this but Databit passed this from Zephrius to me.
From:  Zephrius

Date: Jan 12, 2007 9:22 AM
Subject Friday!
Body: I guess the exclamation point is an overstatement. I’m not too excited about the fact that it’s the end of the corporate business week or the fact that it’s a 3 day weekend. I think Memphis should be exempt from celebrating that national holiday because this is where MLK was shot. Kinda like how if one kid misbehaves then the whole class has to skip recess or something. Yeah it’s just like that.

p.s. i have no idea what I’m saying. I’m just so fucking bored at work. I wish there was something to do besides pretending to look like I’m working.

season finale

So tonight is the last interview. Last night iterviewee(sp?) was gorgeous, self motivated, had on the spot reccomendations, friend of a friend of a friend kind of thing. The problem is she was fucking gorgeous. Looked like Kimber from Nip/Tuck. I really don’t think i can work with somone that hot on a regular basis.

I’m giving this one last girl a chance tho. Before i marry any of these individuals i gotta date as much as possible. I honestly don’t think i have anymore interviews left in me. So tired of explaining who and what i do and how desperately i need help.

BTW im working on MLK. I don’t care. He’d want me to work, right? I’m white.

today’s lesson of the day

look, if you work on computers in even the smallest sense, here is some really good advice.

Usb jump drive will save your life. I don’t care how many you have, make sure you spread them out. I have 1 at work, and 2 at home. Fucked my day up completely. Lost hours of life, gas, stress, inner self loathing, countless things.
and if the last few days of updates havn’t sunk it. get lots of copies of your keys. lots. bury them if you must.