Saturday night Valerie and I spent a night at the Madison hotel to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. Most couples like to go out for a expensive dinner that lasts only a few hours but we decided to pack sandwiches and stay at a nice hotel instead.
We valet Valerie’s Buick and check in. We walk in and head up to our room. It’s a nice room but a lot smaller then we expected, especially from the pictures on their site, etc. There’s 2 bottles of wine and 2 glasses on the wet bar. We look at it and go “damn, it’s funny how they set the bottles out and everything trying to trick you into opening it and getting charged.” While the valet lady is getting us a bucket of ice, i call down to the front desk. She says we can upgrade to the better room for $10 more a night. I say, of course, and we carry our stuff to a the other room. The valet lady carries down the wine, glasses and tray with us.
About 3 hours later we’ve eaten our “presents” to each other and we’re wandering around the hotel room, inspecting the beautiful interior decorating, etc. Valerie is looking at the honor bar pricelist like “wait, there isn’t any merlot listed on the honor bar”. I tell her to call down to the front desk because maybe it’s complimentary from the hotel since i told them it was our anniversary. I figured it’s a good way to maybe get something comped but i wasn’t going to touch it unless i was sure i wasn’t going to get charged god knows what for it.
The front desk isn’t sure, they are going to have to call us back. Now I?m one of those people that has to be on a computer while on any kind of substance, it’s a sick habit and i need help. I have several aim windows going and suddenly. Then Allen, who I worked with at Stream and still talk to on a daily basis, says “Hey, did you get my present?”. “No, what present.”. “The wine.”.
I tell Valerie to hangup the phone. Apparently the card that Allen faxed(insert image here) was left in the other hotel room or possibly not there at all. Aim windows sending wine. FTW.
We wake up exactly at noon, pack up our things and check out. I’m wearing my favorite bright orange, yellow and blue hawaiian shirt. This shirt is the reason i believe in magic because everyone in the room has to turn and stare, just something about it.
We drive home, unpack the car onto the porch and look for the key. I only had 1 copy of the apartment and had to leave it with my neighbor to let Marla out but he’s no where to be found. We wait about a hour, since he plays organ at a church and it’s about noon, he’s probably on his way back now. We finish off the rest of the wine.
Around 1:30, after I?ve given up on trying to pick the lock of my front door with a paper clip and glass. I tell Valerie i’m going to home depot.
See my apartment is owned by a slumlord who won’t fix anything. The front door leaks cold air and gives me a rape of a utility bill each month. I figure, once i break open the door, i can kill 2 birds with one stone. This seriously makes perfect sense.
I drive to home depot and ask a clerk if they sell any lockpicking tools or tension guns. He says no. I ask him where the crowbars are, he points down the aisle. I pick out a nice blue one and grab valerie a sprite.
My phone rings in the parking lot. It’s valerie, she says willie’s wife says willie will be home soon. I figure im halfway across the parking lot, better just keep the crowbar.
never can tell when you need a crowbar.
Comments are closed.