Month: November 2005

I haven?t lived a long life. A awfully short 25 years. I’ve had a lot of good times at holidays and i’ve had a lot of terrible experiences. I will be 50 years old and never forget this how my Thanksgiving was shattered in 2005.

Los Angeles ? Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, who turned mid-level music careers into Hollywood superstardom by celebrating their marriage in an MTV reality show and television specials, are calling it quits after months of salacious breakup rumors.

No.
Fucking
Way

God, everything was going so well in my life and now look at this. Nick and Jessica are even falling apart. I heard the rumors of the breakup yesterday and immediately started drinking whiskey. Later that evening, I mourned their breakup with some tallboys.

Some people have said, “Toad, your taking this way too rough”. I mean sure, I’ve never met either of them, I didn’t watch their TV show and I didn’t even know she was a musician until someone told me.

But this obviously has to be really important. I mean duh, it wouldn’t be on top of Google News if it was a stupid trivial thing not worth even updating about?

People keep telling me that binge drinking will not get Nick And Jessica back together. But how do they know? I mean a butterfly flapping it’s wings can start a hurricane. A bunch of beer and NIN in Memphis might, um, maybe make Nick’s publicist and Jessica’s publicist have cocktails? They’ll both sit down with their binders and laptops and maybe see the error of their ways? Jessica’s album says might need a boost? Nick might start acting?

I think what really scares me is that this fever might spread through Hollywood. If a rock solid relationship like theirs can crumble, that means Brittany and um whoever she got knocked up with, could break up too?

In closing, I think we all need to have a few drinks for Nick and Jessica and pray that a meteor is heading towards this stupid pointless planet so we actually have something to interesting to read about. The massive death in Africa, the current state of our government and maybe um, the bird flu that’s owning China?

Continue reading the worst thanksgiving ever

My friend jeff from philly came to visit me last year. While he was here, he went to a birthday party for my friend Merritt. Merritt started school in Philly this semester. Jeff saw Merritt on the bus and was like “wait a minute, is your name Merritt?”

Merritt calls me to say “hey i have someone i want you to talk to” but i was laying in bed nursing my sunday afternoon hangover. After the phone rings again, it’s Jeff. I go “wow thats weird, 2 philly people calling within 15 minutes”. I call Jeff back and he’s like “dude i just found i live like half a block from Merritt.

And all this time I thought Memphis was small….
Continue reading the crackhore effect

yup, so i’m single again. 2 years of wasted time with valerie……wish hot chicks read this site cuz i need a rebound asap.

wow single again. fuck her. this was way over due. hope you read this and find a new guy and forget all about me.
Continue reading my lover, be my lover, yea

yup, so i’m single again. 2 years of wasted time with valerie……wish hot chicks read this site cuz i need a rebound asap.

wow single again. fuck her. this was way over due. hope you read this and find a new guy and forget all about me.
Continue reading my lover, be my lover, yea

Saturday valerie and i went to the ghetto state run animal shelter and got a kitten. I need to upload some pics to add to this update later. Anyway, it’s wednesday now and the cat and marla experience has been pretty great. The first day he’d hiss and and pull out the claws when marla would get within 2 feet.

After 2 days of all kinds of things like petting the dog and then petting the cat to get that gnarly marla smell on the kitten. I’ve also sat on the floor at 4am, drunk as hell, tori blaring, petting both of them and moving them closer and closer until they were laying next to each other. Great mental image huh?

Today i’ve caught marla chasing him down the hallway and several other “i can get you but i’m not” moments.

It’s been great adding a new member to the show. The looks on marla’s face watching the cat play with her toys. The look on the cat’s face when marla destroys his cat toys.

Thursday i accidently leave Inna Gadda Da Vida on repeat while i go get a rental car. Welcome to crackhore.com, Sliver.
Continue reading kitten

A few weeks ago i posted about helping my friend’s sister and her friend with their webdesign class. The facts, which often get blurred on this site, actually sometimes really matter. I misunderstood him, turns out it wasn’t his sister, it was a girl he was dating.

So anyway, I help her sister’s friend first, and tonight his girlfriend was supposed to come over and i was going to help her. She called me yesterday asking if we can work on the site on Monday instead of Tuesday. I told her naw, couldn’t do it monday, just come by Tuesday.

Anyway, my friend calls me this afternoon and tells me i need to cancel. The girl’s friend, who i already helped, talked a bunch of shit about him and they’re not together anymore. Hence why she was calling me yesterday asking for help, trying to get to my leet web skills before he told me what went down.

Talk about some shit. He helped these 2 chicks basically get a A in a class they were doomed to fail and they hate on him. Now the chick is going to fail her class cuz she tried to game my friend. Let that be a lesson to you chickenheads out there.
Continue reading game a female that’s gaming on me

A few weeks ago i posted about helping my friend’s sister and her friend with their webdesign class. The facts, which often get blurred on this site, actually sometimes really matter. I misunderstood him, turns out it wasn’t his sister, it was a girl he was dating.

So anyway, I help her sister’s friend first, and tonight his girlfriend was supposed to come over and i was going to help her. She called me yesterday asking if we can work on the site on Monday instead of Tuesday. I told her naw, couldn’t do it monday, just come by Tuesday.

Anyway, my friend calls me this afternoon and tells me i need to cancel. The girl’s friend, who i already helped, talked a bunch of shit about him and they’re not together anymore. Hence why she was calling me yesterday asking for help, trying to get to my leet web skills before he told me what went down.

Talk about some shit. He helped these 2 chicks basically get a A in a class they were doomed to fail and they hate on him. Now the chick is going to fail her class cuz she tried to game my friend. Let that be a lesson to you chickenheads out there.
Continue reading game a female that’s gaming on me

i had to be said that i’m coming across quite a bit of player haters lately.

look, the bitch ran the red light. i’m driving along minding my own business when she slammed into me. read it outloud if you have to. tired of bitches telling me i need to stop going out at night cuz things like this happen.

I wish she had hit me during the day, maybe then you’d stop your little inner dialog, hating on me and my bad luck.

I’m honestly a little more paranoid then usual now. Near death experiences made you really appreciate life so you start to notice shit that could be god’s little gravelings trying to kill me.

Case in point, last night my friend Byron was helping me with a computer issue when we had to run to best buy. We stop at a gas station and i fill up his tank out of appreciation for the help. I look over and see this dumb bitch sucking down a cigarette while pumping gas. I turn to Byron and say “see, this is the shit i’m talking about it”. I mean not everyone knows that cell phones can ignite gas fumes but i thought everyone knew fire would do it also.

I always hear that most accidents happen at the home but at least it’s going to be my dumbass that can get me owned.
Continue reading player haters

check this shit out.

so im taking over a bunch of hosting clients for a guy in new orleans. He fedexes me his server’s harddrive, i open it up, set it on desk. He buys a 250 gig harddrive from compusa and has it shipped to me, supposed to arrive the next day.

Around 4pm he msgs me and asks if the harddrive got there. I say newp, been here all day too. He pastes me the compusa tracking. Wow, it’s been delievered, but 20 minutes before i woke up, but not on porch.

i call up compusa and fedex and throw a fit about how i’m not gonna eat this $166 cuz of fedex’s new policy of just leaving crap on porches without a signature. I file a claim for it and order a 2nd drive, on the client’s card.

I head to a meeting around 7pm and when i get around 8, surprise, there’s a package on my door. Now this is when toad’s inner evilness starts saying “well, you’ve already filed the claim, maybe this is just kind of a gift from god? maybe he’s making up for the bitch almost killing you. Like god feels bad about it and wants to give me a harddrive?

After consulting my inner god and asking my friends what they said i should call compusa and cancel the claim. The theory is, it’s a $166 harddrive, not worth committing insurance fraud. If it was a $3k laptp then i could maybe justify it but the risk just wasn’t worth it.

I call back compusa, stop the order and close the claim. Hope i just didn’t return a gift from god.
Continue reading the world is testing me

if you have a linux/unix server(in memphis) that i can mount a harddrive in, copy the files to another harddrive, which i have, please message me on aim asap.

i really hate hardware because i have a bad habit of breaking in my hands so i basically trust everyone more then myself on this matter.

aim = scoutmastertoad

Ive been scrolling through my phone and aim list trying to find someone and i’m like “wait i’ll just post this on crackhore, not like the client reads my site”.

our little secret

Continue reading help me unix people