Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat

I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat


So ive been getting a lot of feedback about the black security guard who is going to stun and kill me. I can’t wait till next week. I wish people liked me.

Everybody knows that you are insane :(.

i think im going to go to sleep. I’m tired of existing in your world.

nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think i’ll go eat pabst.
It’s great that my neighbors have been reading crackhore and bringing up things i post in real life. It’s weird, like “why are you reading my diary…that i gave you the address to…oh lol yeah i love black chicks”

Oh well,  i love black chicks but they are disgusted by crackers like me.

I’m doing it because i know it’s going to end badly and i know it’s going to make a good update. I want you all there to feel the sweet nectar of her rejecction.

I’m so ready for the rejection that i havn’t even planned out a date with her. I want to go with this default answer of “anywhere you want, anytime”. I really don’t know how to hit on black girls, this is going to end with me getting shot.

This is far from over, i’ll see her next week. Please keep reading.

You are all invited to the wedding.

Wayne, you are my best man

Feeling strong every day.

so one of my best friends at the MIC is leaving. he’s from memphis and we’ve had a brotherly bond since i met him. we all went out to eat.

we get on the topic of the security guard that i’m in love with. (read above, i still havn’t hit on her, im a pussy, i know). One of my great co-workers, shawn gives me the idea that i should put a note that says “will you go out with me? :)” on top of my id badge that i gotta show when i pull up at the gate. Everyone at the table thinks this is a great idea.

We file out of the resturant, making sure i’m in the first car that goes into the gate so everyone behind us can see me get shot/beaten to death by the security guards when we try shawn’s plan.

Bam, it’s one of the guy security guards. My guard is in the security hut and she waves and i wave furiously. I save the note in the car for next week.

Feeling strong every day.


So last week she took off friday so there was no chance to hit on my security guard. She was there today and i start loling hard, like badge shaking in my hand. I’m going to try again tomorrow.

It’ll be great when the CNN commentors are reading parts of the “crackhore terrorist” who was shot recently 🙁 im going to be the next terri shavio/bong hits for 4 jesus guy

i love you

One year ago today i met Lauren. I was walking up Magazine and she was sitting there with the rest of her gutter punk friends when she asked me for a can of beer. Who knew 1 year later i would still be in love with her.

You were wild, where are you nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lol 🙁 god

Oh well. If you love something you just gotta let it go and if it comes back then it’s truely meant to be.

I almost want to go down to Magazine and look for her.

Oh well…

nothing can stop me now

so tomorrow im going to ask out the security guard at work. everyday she flirts. or in my mind she does. now normally i don’t hit on black girls, well, never before, but i’m sure it’s a lot like picking up white girls on aim. Even if she has a boyfriend, you have to just do things because you feel it in your heart. Even if your heart isn’t sober. Especially if it isn’t.

today i went out to lunch with the woman i work with and when we came back she checks our ids and asks her “what are you doing with him?”. J* asks me why the security guard asked her that and i ask her if she could see us together. She says no.
I have to do it tomorrow. I got the perfect shirt laid out, going to put on the nice shoes, everything.

the excitement is going to keep me up. i’m so afraid she’s not working tomorrow.

wow i didn’t even think of that. I gotta try anyway. The thought of utter rejection from her is just as appealing as complete sucess. The problem is i can picture utter rejection, me walking to the office and looking back, her and her co-worker rolling on the ground laughing at the white boy 🙁

I really wonder what a date would be like with her tho.

Maybe i’ll print this out and bring it to her tomorrow.

naw just publish


so i’ve noticed a lack of updates on my part. The ebb and flow of crackhore continues. I go through these phases of going out drinking and not writing, then get angry at how much money i’ve spent and stay home and write. Then sitting at home writing makes me so mad that i go out and drink.

Last night i probably drank a little too much. I get there and start shooting jager like normal. My neighbor’s friend from Ireland, who had been drinking with me all day/morning listening to music. Just imagine if you met someone who hadn’t heard ANYTHING you have listened to. Like it was great going through NIN, Sublime, etc explaining the culture of america that listened to each one, etc.

Anyway i get up to the pub and i have a few shots but then about 11:30 peter buys 5 shots. The beautiful bartender pours the 5 out. I had already ordered one so she brings me 2. I do one and choke down the 2nd. Oh yeah, Peter bought Deckland a shot of jager and he doesn’t do that, so that one goes to me too.

I really don’t remember leaving Finns and i really don’t remember going to the other bar. I did a shot and had a beer there that i’m actually finishing while i write this update. It’s 10:15am on sunday and the day is my oyster. I can do everything or anything with the holiest of days to drink.

Let us start with a nice walk with the dog.


ScoutMassaToad: fucking shit storm
ScoutMassaToad: storm of shit
MahBizNizzle:  what shit storm?
ScoutMassaToad: haha just scrolling through my emails
MahBizNizzle:  ah
ScoutMassaToad: it’s like they have just started hitting a bee’s nest with swords
ScoutMassaToad: and all the angry bees come out and say they already paid their honey and they won’t give anymore
ScoutMassaToad: winnie the toad is stuffing his face with honey like “naw, nugga, you ain’t paid shit”