Internet Dating & OkCupid White Paper

As a professional blogger such as myself, imma use the first paragraph to explain my advanced knowledge in the field through examples of real life experience. I’ve been internet dating since…i was 16 and i was able to drive to visit girls online. For me it was just easier for a billion different reasons.

Anyway, the all guy highschool spawned my first drive to meet a girl off the internet, then i was buying plane tickets. Moving new places and sleeping with internet friends. Most of it was because of crackhore. Back when i was young and witty women loved me and my bullshit.

Moving forward, when i first moved to nola i knew absolutely no single females, much less anyone besides the 3-4 people i knew already. So i started up on hotornot…seriously, they had a msging system so people would date through it. I’m honestly kinda torn on the hotornot relationships i had. Some of them rank up there in some of the most evil acts i’ve done towards the softer sex. Things i’m not really proud of yet, i am. Working around the 90% christian environment at the navy actually made me a even worse person. If you are good, then i am bad, and im going to be bad, fine see you tomorrow. What’s messed up is i have had more then one healthy relationships with women off of hotornot, more then okcupid by far. In each situation we were both real adults, despite one of their ages, we knew were just “dating” and didn’t really take it too seriously. Just enjoying life in the company of others.

Gotta hold on looselyyyyyy but don’t lemme gooooo….iffff you cling too tightlyyy…

Never had a ounce of luck with plentyoffish.com, i blame it because it was a wreck compared to okcupid…i just didn’t really see any attractive females there. No offense if you’re there…just didn’t have much luck.

I’ve been pondering, I really wish i knew pics i used in my old okcupid profile(ive tried wayback machine) but can’t remember. I must have had a really good stuff because i met some pretty hot girls…i mean they were uhh liberal. You know, with sex. But still fun short term train wrecks. The ones that make life worth living for.

The thing with okcupid profiles is they evolve more and more insane from lack of sex. Just as the…male pea cock(?) breaks out the huge crazy feathers to attract the mate. That’s what okcupid is about…i’m starting to think maybe i need to start taking a look at some other guy’s profiles to see what they’re using that might work with my profile. Seriously tho, just research. Like viewing source on a site that has some cool javascript.

The okcupid site itself is a master piece tho…feeds to you…who is looking at you, who is msging you. I met a very wonderful woman from okcupid recently for dinner. A few minutes into talking about the internet, she tells me that i’m the first person she has ever met off the internet. Not off okcupid, just the internet. It seems so foreign to me…so inefficient.

I’m not really holding it against her because imma look like zer0c00l if she comes to my apartment.

The next step in this is when we really start using video to date. Then it’s why even talk to someone in real life. If you’re physically attractive i’ll find you later when i get home by your keywords and maybe i’ll like your profile, something that stand sout. See this is brain storming, I need to have bulleted ordered list of links to youtube of me singing.

I’m know i’m like the drunken idiot in the bar telling everyone to drink but instead of a sexual deviant, i am a pioneer into a new age. This is evolution, you go back to your fucking horse covered wagons and your arranged marriages, churning butter without pandora. I’m doing searches for women with the word NIN in their profile, sending them a weird enough open ended question, watch them visit my profile…and then not respond.

And this, Toad Jr, is how i met your mother.

The plot thickens

I just made another appearance on the tori amos fan forum.

forum terrorism

Josh and Toad do Caught A Light Sneeze

This is by far the best thing, ever.

caughtalightsneezetoad.mpg