new orleans toad faq

When are you getting internet at your apartment?

The 6th

Why are you never on aim?

Because i changed my screenname, new city, new screenname.

Are you going to jail for vandalism?

I hope not.

Can i come visit?

Sure, but keep in mind that we don’t have any furniture besides my inflatable bed. Which only i sleep in. Josh sleeps on the floor.

Are you drinking less?


Have you wrecked the rental car yet?

Not yet.

Why do you have such a bad attitude still even tho you’re out of memphis?



So my mom called me just now and said there was a envelope delievered to their house addressed to SCOUTMASTERTOAD. I ask her the return address and it mentions the coast guard. My mom says she didn’t think it was business related.
About a week before i moved to new orleans my friend Amanda had a huge going away party before she went to join the coast guard. I put down my parent’s address because i knew i was going to have a perm address for a while.

I tell my mom to open it.

It says:

Dear Toad,



My mom reads this off to me while i stand outside a bar on Bourbon street and i start laughing hysterically.

Toad’s, oh, so tired

Toad’s, oh, so tired
Youre all hungover
And so sleepy until…

You wake up hungover!
Zing boom
The office up Elysian
Zing boom
Is calling you
Wow bam
Youve never been so nuts about a job
You wanna drink you wanna sleep
You cross your heart and hope to code

til its over and then
Its nice and quiet
But soon again
Starts another big website

You drink a pabst
Zing boom
The wireless cuts loose
Zing boom
So whats the use
Wow bam
Of building websites

Its, oh, so sober
Its, oh, no aim
Youre all alone
And so peaceful until…

You sign on aim
Bim bam
You text and you yell
Hi ho ho
You broke the firewall
Gee, this is swell you almost have a site
This job is sweet and I got hit
Theres no mistake this is it

til its over and im canned
Its nice and unemployed
But soon again
Starts another big contract

You blow a dude
Zing boom
The toad cuts toad
Zing boom
Whats the use
Wow bam
Of building websites!

The hotel caves in
The toad cuts toad
You blow blow blow blow a dude
When youve build websites


dinner at planned parenthood

so josh and i got some popeyes chicken today but we didn’t have a place to eat it that we could drink beer. which is important when eating chicken.

we camped out on the steps of planned parenthood across the street and feasted. chicken never never tasted more like fetus.

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we then went and did laundry at lizzay’s laundromat and did laundry. here are her boobs. mmmmm boobs
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Wow i totally havn’t updated this site in a while. Lets go back a week. I’ve given away everything i own. My computers have are vacationing at peter and rachael’s and i have started my first 9 to 5 job in 7 years. Now you may ask where is toad working? Toad will give you a hint. They kill people. By land, sea and air.

It’s great tho, like it’s the most laid back, easy, high paying job i’ve ever had. This first week has been mostly clearance security, finger printing and orientation. I work with almost 90% ex military people which is a great mental image if you can picture it.

There is so much red tape tho. I havn’t done a single thing this week except try to get permission to install flash and dreamweaver, 2 things that you kinda need to work on websites. While i wait i have been drawing stick figures and writing notes for my memphis company.

The other day the boredom overtook me and i changed the channel on the tv in the break room from CNN to BET. I bet they think one of the janitors did it.

One of the older guys i work with asked me what i do for fun. I couldn’t even think of a normal answer off the top of my head.

“oh, well, i like to get REALLY drunk, cut myself and pass out on the floor. I also really like aim and drugs. And mp3s”.

I dunno, i keep thinking this is just temporary but it’s such a great company to be in and i really like thinking about how im designing websites to kill people.

Oh well. Apartment hunting continues…..going to end up living in a tent outside my office.