deebs ownage

5:22 AM 7/17/2008
welp ive managed to wake up in time and make it to the airport. i left kelly’s apartment at 4am, awoken to the “barking dogs” ring tone which i have now am in complete love with, as well as kelly. when i woke up i knocked over a box of crayons and a flashlight, quickly destroying the “i won’t make a sound when i leave” promise i made last night. i quickly poured what’s left of my wine into a to-go cup and called the white fleet taxi service. dude rolls up and i’m going through the wonderful and secure TSA checkpoints.

i quickly realize this is going to be a very sober morning…my flask is hopefully still in my carry on but i got 3 flights before my arrival and that’s a long time without alcohol or anything. the first thing i did when i got here is open my pill jar and examine what supplies i have. there is nothing better then eating a handful of pills in front of strangers and then slouching in your chair, putting on the ipod and taking out the ipod.

anyway, deebs has no idea i’m on the way (hopefully), a surprise orchestrated by his wife (who ive coordinated all of this via myspace, random aim messages and text messages). this shall surely be a great birthday surprise if i can make the 3 flights…

this is really becoming a pretty big test of what happens to the nola office when i leave my people in charge and what happens when i go 4-5 hours without a fucking drink…the terrorists have truly won…last adventure i had like this i was drinking a 40 of high life on the plane which i snuck through security without any problems.  the lady at the gate says ziploc makes a bag now that is TSA approved. that is so bad ass…here ya go citizen, this is the proper bag, put your liquids in here and you’ll have no problems…such a crock…i would slit my wrists for a drink right now….all i have is my ipod, laptop, notepad and toothpicks…

i’m watching 2 overweight middle aged women who look like they are from the midwest…they are both clutching their sprite bottles and sweaters, nervously talking to themselves. it’s interesting watching their mouths move while lane stanley asking what’s my drug of choice…i just got a icey cold stare when i reached into my 7 day pill container, take out a handful of multicolored vitamins and other medications and eat them with a big smile…i wish i could be overweight and happy like they are but instead i’ll eat my pills.

i have 2 layovers, both of which have nothing to do with laying around. they are delicate orchestras, more like a ballet, of me stumbling and laughing to the next gate, boarding pass in my mouth….i am really excited about spending way too much money on buying a expensive drink on the plane as well…it could cost $20 and i have to jerk off the air “waitress” but i’d fucking do it, smile and ask for a facial. cuz thats how we roll down in the dirty south…or something…anyway…

i’m a little worried about my medication supply for the trip…lots of mild anti anxiety pills but very lorazpam, especially since i just took 2 of um to get me through the next few hours of airport hell. i’m going to go ask how much a beer is at the airport coffee stand. will update this on the plane or at next layover. if my plane doesn’t crash 😉

doomed from the start

They’re starting to open up the sky, they’re starting to reach down through.
It feels like we’re living in that split second of a car crash.
And time is slowing down, and if we’d only had a little more time than this, I’ll just hold your hand.
Do you remember the time we…?
And all the times we…?
And should have…?
And were going to…?
I know.

And I know you remember. How would he justify it all?
And we knew better; in our hearts… we knew better.
And we told ourselves it didn’t matter.
We’re trying to continue, and none of that matters anymore.
In the hour of our twilight…
And soon it will be all said and done, and we’ll all be back together, as one…
And we will… continue… at all.

Shame on us, doomed from the start
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts
Shame on us for all we have done
And all we are worth is just zeroes and ones

And you never get away, and you never get to take the easy way,
And all this is a consequence, born by our own hand…
If you believe in that sort of things.
And did you ever really find, when you closed your eyes,
Any place that was still, and at peace?

And I guess I just wanted to tell you, as the lights start to fade,
That you are the reason that I am not afraid.
And I guess I just wanted to mention, as the heavens will fall,
We will be together soon if we will be anything at all.

Shame on us, doomed from the start
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts
Shame on us for all we have done
And all we are worth is just zeroes and ones


i decided im going to start making content for this site again. it’s so hot in new orleans right now that i’ve confined myself to the apartment during the day…it’s so bad that you really have to micromanage shade…like if you have to be outside it’s a game of keeping out of direct contact. but you still have the 70% humidity…

i have left overs and a few oven pizzas, a bottle of scotch and plenty of stuff to watch. the keg gave up the farm yesterday which really sucks. everytime i have to order another one i am both sad but i know how much money it saves me in the end…or i could quit drinking so much..



i want to do another video but i really don’t want to leave the house and risk being burned to death by the heat.

i haven’t showered in a few days so i don’t want to make a video with me in it.

we’ll see.

10 years ago today was born

Wow…..i never thought i’d be writing this update…10 years…a entire decade of of nonsense…it’s funny to think about how this site has changed over last…decade…how we have both changed….it’s kinda sad actually how i used to just work on this site 24/7…the daily updates and adventures, most of which have been lost in a mixture of server and self failures….

The party is raging over here, can’t believe i’m typing this. The 2nd load of kegs, hotwings, cocaine and strippers just got here so it’s about to be on again.  There has to be 200+ people here, the video and pics are going to be hilarious(i’ll upload them later).

Anyone reading this post and thinking to themselves, “wow he has that site a while”, thank you for sticking through the good and the bad, then the worse, then the complete garbage i post now 😀

i’d like to make a resolution and say “okay, no more ignoring crackhore, your one true love” but i’m not going to even bother. It’s kinda great to think about how optimistic about your future “art” when you’re in your peak. I guess it was easier for all of us to think about artistic projects such as crackhore when gas isn’t going up by the day and people are paying less for sites.

I still however feel that i have kept the faith. I’m still drinking constantly, listened to 3 nin albums today while working…i even cut myself a few months ago…i still get mean and insane on whiskey and still know that one day tori amos will marry me….

Anyway, someone just opened a $200 bottle of wine in honor of the site and this stripper is grinding new sores into my lap, so i think im going to have a few glasses and go back to the party.

walmart in nola is not safe

i sent stephanie(my new assistant) to walmart today…she said it was going well until one walmart employee threw bleach in face of another walmart employee over some work related dispute. stephanie said all chaos broke loose, employees abandoning cash registers running to their fallen soldier.

15 squad cars show up, police storm the place and capture the crazed walmart employee. she said she watched the police photograph the woman’s face since the burns were so severe.

God bless the tcohopitolous street Walmart. Nestled in the rebuilt projects, it never fails to give me and other writers content to muse over.

they should have never reopened it after the storm…it had to have been built on some indian burial ground…

it’s like what does someone have to do to piss you off so much that bleach in the face seems like a great
response…now i hate some people but…damn…bleach in the face?

i mean it must have been some serious shit for her to just flip out and do that, right? right?

imagine all the web sites

Imagine there’s no Internet
It’s easy if you try
No fiber below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for IRL.

Imagine there’s no email
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to reply or archive for
And no word docs too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I’m a reseller
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll add to cart
And your site will be as one will be as one

Imagine no web orders
I wonder if you can
No need for SSL or shopping carts
A failure of business
Imagine all the people
Not fulfilling web orders

You may say that I’m a alcoholic
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the web will live as one