Evan Williams

My whiskey of choice when i havn’t made shit for money, the bills are late, and i hate my life.

Evan Williams is really my favorite whiskey right now. You can get a huge monster bottle, it tastes bad, but still works.

Mixed with water, coke or spit. It always owns.

Jack Daniels

I get pretty mean on Jack. I lost my whiskey virginity to mr daniels and will always hold a special spot in my heart for him. We still hangout occasionally but everytime we meet up, i just get memories of our relationship we had on Whiskey Wednesday for so many years….and i dunno.

It’s bad to fuck ex’s.

Champale Red Berry

Champale Red Berry

After i finished the Extra Dry and Golden Champale, I figure, lets just get the last one of out of the way. The clerk at the store seemed surprised that they even carried it. I should have took that as a sign. Luckily the previous 2 Champale’s gave me enough courage to try it anyway.

This one however, tasted nothing like it’s brothers. The best way i can describe Red Berry Champale is if you took Cherry Koolaid and mixed with tonic water and beer. I choke down half of it and throw it the rest in the fridge. The next night, after drinking a Miller High Life, the laziness takes control and I finish the Red Berry out of pure boredom.

Toad’s ghetto beer review opinion? I give Champagne Red Berry a 3 hairpicks out of 10. This was horrible. It really didn’t even feel like I was drinking anything in the beer family. This is one step above Zima and 6 steps behind everything else.

.:Champale Red Berry

4 hairpicks out of 10

Champale Golden

Champale Golden

Ugh, after polishing off the Champale Extra Dry, I run through rain, jump in my car and drive back to the Circle K. A new clerk was working this shift, it being 2-3 hours later. I walk to the cooler and decide that since I already tried one Champale, I might as well try them all tonight. I grab a Golden Champale and a Red Berry Champale and figure this should do me good for the rest of the evening.

I get home, forgo the regular chilling, and crack it open. It tasted a lot like the Extra Dry but with a less tonic watery taste. It tasted more like beer. Ian describes Golden Champale as crisp and dry, like a sweet apple. I however didn’t think it tasted anything like a apple. It tasted like just about any other malt beverage, nothing really special.

Toad’s ghetto beer review opinion? I give Champagne Golden a 8 hairpicks out of 10. This was pretty good for being considered a “lesser beer”. I could actually see myself buying this if i was in a mood for it. If i was in the mood for it again.

.:Champale Golden

8 hairpicks out of 10

Champale Extra Dry

Champale Extra Dry

With the return of the Ghetto Beer reviews, i chose Champale Extra Dry. I think. Anyway, i roll up into my local Circle K, with rap music “bumping” and grab a 40 of Champagne Extra Dry. I was walking up to the counter, pondering the label “extra dry”, thought about asking the black clerk what it meant, then decided against it.

Now taking my knowledge gained from the previous ghetto beer challenges, i threw the forty in the freezer to chill it down to my cracker ass tolerance. I crack it open and take a sip. It kinda tasted like beer but it had like a crackle to it. Like the way Zima or any of those other fag beers kinda tastes. I want to say minty but it has more like a tonic water kinda tingle to it. The buzz is, well, typical of a domestic beer, kinda disappointing actually. The taste is cool, like if you’re in the mood for beer but sick of just the normal beer taste.

Toad’s ghetto beer review opinion? I give Champagne Extra Dry a 6 hairpicks out of 10. Like it tastes good and everything, but i don’t have that “I want to commit a drive by or sell narcotics feel” that i was expecting from a quality ghetto beer.

.:Champale Extra Dry

6 hairpicks out of 10

Carib, Grenadian for Beer!

Tired of that same old domestic brew, even though it’s cheap?  Well, these guys aren’t!  Centered in the heart of Grenada, West Indies(or is it the Southern most point, stupid alcohol), Carib is brewed from only the finest local products (well, finest is pretty relative here).  At only $3 EC a bottle (that’s about $1 USD for all you math majors), Carib is a smooth pilsner that has a nice, citrus-like finish.  Basically, it tastes like Corona, except good. Yes, Grenadians love their Carib.  In fact, they love it soooo much that the Grenadian government had to issue a reccomendation to people who perinnially drive under the influence, telling everyone that “If you have had too much to drink, you should slow down!”  Ahh, Grenada, home of cheap, yet good beer, and no drunk driving laws.  Cheers!

Livingston Burgundy

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit neegher this is some damn tasty white.  Get some velveeta and some saltines and you’ll get the chicks mad wet between the hams.