strange

It’s weird when i look at it now. Ive freelanced for 6-7 years now, no paycheck, no office, no security, no idea what im going to do tomorrow, no idea where rent is coming from, etc.

Now that i have a semi sturdy contract, all i do is fear the termination of my contract and scared of the comfortable life i had before.

It’s weird when you type it all out like that. I’m scared of not having to worry? Oh well, i’m always terrified, always will be. Guess i’ll just wait the next few months, probably get fired and it’ll be back to the freelance lifestyle of morning pabst, no bosses and living the rogue webdesigner life.

i am tact

So the other night my neighbors had a little party. All the neighbors from the street came over and ate bbq, drank to excess, hung out, stole things from the grocery store, etc.

The girl across the street, who’s name i cannot recall except it starts with a J and has a X in it, has not learned the value of drapes. Im sitting here staring at my monitor on the floor watching her walk around her upstairs apartment unpacking.

Earlier tonight i was heading to the store for some “supplies” and i see her leaving her apartment. I tell her that she’s been wearing those clothes all afternoon and i havn’t seen her change once.

I expect drapes tomorrow.

this oughta be good

So Andy Boy calls me and asks for my address because he’s going to send me a article of clothing. He says i absolutely must post a picture of me wearing it on the site. He’s a little buzzed and accidently slips that it’s velvet. This oughta be good.

I guess if you want a good update you gotta break a few eggs.

sharing the love

So ive been trying to make my cubicle more like home since im basically spending more time there then my apartment. I started by putting up a few stolen signs, which god knows i have a lot. Then it occurred to me that some of my bosses might find this offensive. Even tho i have never said these signs were stolen, i keep saying i purchased them all.

I decided to give everyone in my row their own stolen “please wash your hands before leaving the bathroom” sign or “please do not litter” sign, etc, etc. I’ve successfully converted 4 people’s cubes into toad colonies. A lot of people have been a little turned off by them since they are pretty disgusting looking. Not because they were in a bathroom, but because they were ducttaped to the walls of my last 3 apartments.

I just packed up 3 more signs to bring into work tomorrow to see how many more people i can infect.

The Easy Hard

Okay, this was a damn good movie. Two robberies happen at the same place at the same time and shit just kinda blows up. Basically I’ve seen this type of movie a million times. It involves everything you expect from a robbery movie so it’s almost kinda predictable but the cast makes up for it.

It’s got a great cast which really kinda makes the movie really worth sitting down and watching. The only thing is it’s kinda predictable, if you’ve seen one robbery movie then you’ve seen them all. This one was one of the better tho. Points for having David Boreanaz(sp) and Gary Busey.

You know i probably need some hobbies or something when a shower curtain is my big update of the week. Good find, josh.

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Ive been pretty much sticking to my routine of work and absolutely nothing else. I worked saturday by myself which was great. Walking around the office without socks or shoes, shirt totally unbuttoned. Ruled, i need to start working on saturdays more often.

I went and saw Morning 40 Federation saturday but spent most of the evening paying Lizzy to get girls to come talk to me. That’s almost as pathetic as updating about my crackhore theme shower curtain.

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flash ninja

A lot of people won’t really think this is funny but i have seriously crowned myself the flash ninja at my new job. Literally. Like on the outside of our work coffin(cubicle)
we have these little laminated sheets of paper with our job titles, name, and  logos of the subcontractors we work for. A few weeks ago i wrote FLASH NINJA and put it over Application Developer or whatever bullshit title i got.

Now i got people coming into my coffin and asking me to animate random things and constantly referring to me as “the flash ninja”. Oh, you need to get a little header designed for your TPS report? Dude just go ask the flash ninja, he’ll build you something.

The weirdest thing is hearing my real name all the time. I can’t get used to that.

Oh well, it’s a interesting change of pace. Until they fire me.

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of katrina
I take a look at my site and realize there’s nothing left
Cause I’ve been drinkin and smokingg so long that
Even my clients thinks that my support is gone

But I ain’t never designed a site that i didin’t invoice
Me be treated like a contractor, you know that’s unheard of
You better watch how you coding, and where you uploading
Or you and you site might be posting 404

I really hate to code, but I gotta host
As they call I see myself in the DNS smoke, fool
I’m the kinda toad the little developers wanna be like
On my sites in the night
Googling code in the street light

been spending most their lives
Living in the developer’s Paradise
been spending most their lives
Living in the developer’s Paradise
KEEP spending most our lives
Living in the developer’s Paradise
KEEP spending most our lives
Living in the developer’s Paradise

Look at the site, they got me facin
I can’t host a normal site, I was raised by the PHP
So I gotta be down with the apache team
Too much drinkin’ got me chasing clients

I’m a educated toad wit servers on my mind
Got my tablet in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I’m a low down designia, set-trippin back
And my servers is down, so don’t call my answering service, fool

Unemployment ain’t nuthin but a heart beat away
I’m hosting sites do-or-host ah, what can I say?
My uptime is twenty three now, but will I live to see twenty-fo’?
The way things is goin I don’t know

Tell me why are we — so blind to see
That the ones we host — are you and me

been spending most their lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise
been spending most their lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise

keep spending most our lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise

Servers and the hosting, hostings and the servers
Site after ste, hour after hour
Everybody’s bitchin, but half of them ain’t refreshing
It’s goin on in the DNS, but I dont know what’s resolving

They say I got ta call, but nobody’s there to amswer
If they cant call back, how can they call me?
I guess they can’t — I guess they won’t
I guess they front; that’s why I know my sites are out of luck, fool

They been spending most their lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise
They been spending most their lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in the Developer’s Paradise

Tell me why are we — so blind to see
That the ones we host — are you and me
Tell me why are we — so blind to see
That the ones we host — are you and me

hehe

I really miss updating, i think i’m going to start crackhore back up again.

Stay tuned, i need to write. Lots of crummy stories about office life which i think are amusing. Thats what this site has always been about, what i think is amusing.

Anyway, stay tuned, going to start writing daily again. God knows i need to.