where the fuck is fedex

i love how the little sticker they left said noon to 3pm….they have 38 minutes left…been sitting here with my thumb up my ass and my front door wide open so i won’t miss him.

so many times have i missed packages cuz i couldn’t hear him knocking over the music….not gonna get fucked this time tho

what are u looking at

walk into the liquur store, doc martins untied, no socks, fly unzipped, hair messed up, wearing the clothes i slept in and pick out 2 bottles of wine.

the guys at the counter make small talk, i tell them i’m just picking up breakfast and they both give me a “wtf” look, say “see you soon” and off i go….looks like another evening of drinking alone with winamp

morning

another great and productive friday….starting at 4pm…..missed a fedex package that was supposed to be delievered….cellphone decided to turn itself off so i have 2 voicemails…yay voicemails from my dad asking why i decided to sleep all day instead of work….

must resist urge to reply “was really tired from a long day of drinking”…