Month: August 2003

DRINKDIRNKDRINDRKDRINDKRNK

saturday is the party at Niels, details below. drinkydrinkydyinykhahahazzzzzzzz

Now when you look at these pictures, you go through a few phases of shock. When i pasted the url to my friends on aim, i got the generic “wtf” response.

My viewer submitted crackhore pics are starting to get awesome.

For future clarification.
I will pay(paypal) if you take a pic of breasts with my shirt.

Okay, so my friend Brad says he’s taking me out to dinner for a favor. Steve and this girl, ugh, can’t remember her name, anyway, we’ll call her Christy. Christy demands we go to IHOP, ignoring the thousands of other resturants in Memphis.

We get in her station wagon and drive to IHOP. Now it’s hard to explain in text what it was like getting these 3 together…..the usual dinner conversation before a meal, during a meal and after a meal. The conversations that get way too loud too often and the cop near by starts to stare at you.

Anyway, we’re making small talk and i mention a conclusion had on the drive there. I was thinking as i lusted over the cute girls at the headshop who obviously were like 17-18 years old. I think that even when im 45 im still gonna look at girls with that “i want to cut you” feeling. So i figure, i better get a wife soon so at least i have a mental “reason” to not be that guy in the white van.

I explain this new conclusion at dinner, my one and only reasoning behind not getting married, the guilt of cheating on my wife. I dunno, makes sense right? Anyway, Christy looks up from her waffle and says “WELL YOU JUST NEED TO STOP LOOKING AT YOUNG GIRLS”.

Stare 1 from the cop.

I smile like “haha yah thats a good one, i ‘love’ young girls, lol good one”. The cop goes back to his coffee. I stare at my food, eat and eat, avoiding the stares from the law enforcement officer a few days ago.

We get to the counter where we pay our tab. The man behind the counter, probably mid 40ish, full white goattee. Brad asks if we can split the tab. The man responds while smiling, “of course, unlesss your from Maryland.” I stare at Brad, then back to Steve, then back to him. The mental train stops for a second and tries to factor in Maryland.

The rest of the party does this at the same time.

Christy asks how he knew that she was from Maryland. Paranoia and confusion really kicks in. He smiles again and says he overheard our converation. I still can’t remember her mentioning Maryland. Anyway….it goes into a “i went to school here, at this time” type of conversation that goes on for about a minute. A very very long stoned minute.

We’re in a fucking International House Of Pancakes.

This shouldn’t take this long. “Great the manager is flirting with the customers again”.

all you fuckers who were making fun of me when i didn’t have power, hope you’re enjoying your looting and chaos.

I guess it’s a lot worse, considering new york has a lot more people crammed into a little space. Must have sucked for so many people, lalala, riding on the subway on the way to work, just like everyday….OH FUCK, THE LIGHTS ARE OUT, OMG, OMG OMG, MAYBE THEY’LL COME BACK ON………OH GOD PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD

yay hahaha the hours of moshing around my php shopping pay off again when i sell another shirt!

think this is like the 3rd one thru my site in 6 months. Please buy a shirt.

I guess this is as good of a update as any to mention that i have 500 crackhore.com beer foamies in the works. Only problem is i can’t figure out what to put on a crackhore beer koozie. Seriously, if you have any ideas please mail me.

omg haha

Turnaround, Every now and then I light up the crack pipe and my head goes spining around
turnaround, every now and then I get the muchies and then the paronoia feeds my fears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous cuase I don’t remember that hours have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit paronoid when i see the blue lights flashing in your eyes
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit wreckless and I spill some of my beer
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child between your legs
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit drunkard and I know I’ve got to get off of my feet
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit paronoid when i see the blue lights flashing in your eyes
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit

And I need a hit tonight
And I need a hit more than ever
And if I could only hold the crack pipe tight
I’ll be holding it forever
And I’ll only be taken a hit
Cause I’m in love with it forever
I’ll can take it to the end of the line
My love for a hit is like a cloud of smoke around me all of the time
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
I’m living in a empty keg and its giving off fumes
I really need a hit tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was taking a hit
But now I’m only falling down drunk
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the toad
Once upon a time there was a lighter in my life
But now there’s only a 40 in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the toad

INSTRUMENTAL

Turnaround cracktoad
Turnaround cracktoad
Turnaround, Every now and then I know I’ll never be the boy with more than enough weed
Turnaround, But every now and then I know I’ll always have more than enough weed for me
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there’s no trip in the universe as magical and wonderous as this
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there’s nothing any better and there’s no drug I just wouldn’t do
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit
Turnaround cracktoad, Every now and then I take a hit

And I need a hit tonight
And I need a hit more than ever
And if I could only hold the crack pipe tight
I’ll be holding it forever
And I’ll only be taken a hit
Cause I’m in love with it forever
I’ll can take it to the end of the line
My love for a hit is like a cloud of smoke around me all of the time
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
I’m living in a empty keg and its giving off fumes
I really need a hit tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was taking a hit
But now I’m only falling down drunk
There’s nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the toad
Once upon a time I was taking a hit
But now I’m only falling down drunk
There’s nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the toad

im almost done, honest, haha.

i have a favor of all of you. If you have a screenshot of a bunch of my screennames, please email me.

cracktoad@crackhore.com

Geez, 3am on a tuesday morning and im bored. I skated a bunch today, not really much else to do in this boring ass city. I came to a conclusion tho, which is great, cuz i like conclusions. I started to write it all down in this little news section but decided it was a quality enough document to put down as a editorial. I decided im in a rut. I am going to start asking alot more girls out on dates. I’m going to start with this girl that lives like 2 doors down. It’s kinda funny cuz she may have seen the crackhore.com bumper sticker on my car and actually visit my page, ruining the great surprise. Probably not tho. Anyway, im watching her. Err, but not in a creepy way.