Month: September 2005

OH WON’T YOU COME WITH TOAD!!!!

AND TAKE MY HAND1!!!

OH WON’T JO00 COME WITH MEZ

AND CODE THESE SITE!

PLEASE CODE MY SITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

INNA GADDA DA WEBSITES, DON’T YOU KNOW THAT I’LL ALWAYS DRINK BOOZE

i think i understand why people like golf.  i got drunk as shit and drove a golfcart around a course.  i had the hacker hat on, my beer in between my legs…all that was missing was some tori amos and a one hitter and i was there.

FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN LOLZ

So my friends Lynn and Dylan gave me this coupon for a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.  The distributor apparently was giving them to new orleans refugees and dylan and lynn are one of those people that don’t consider pabst to be beer.

I do tho.

I maps.google.com the distributor, ask the secretary if they are still accepting the coupons, grab my keys and go.

I have to drive to basically the other side of Memphis. The whole journey probably cost me in gas what i’d probably would have spent at the store.  Anyway, I finally get there and the first lady says "oh no this is the wrong building, you gotta go around back".  I go around back, talk to another secretary, she says to go wait in the warehouse.

I go into the warehouse and wait.  and wait.  and wait.  Starting to get a little nervous, i walk farther back into the warehouse and turn this corner to see what can only be described as a city of beer cases.  I almost wept.  Just beer as far as the eye could see.  You could have locked me in that warehouse and told everyone i was dead and i’d be perfectly content.

I hear a voice in my head that says "toad, you should just get your own pabst case by yourself and leave." Then the other voice, "no toad, you should grab a case of something better".  It’s hard to explain to people who think i have no self control, that i actually have self control and use it on a daily basis to battle my shadow.

Anyway, a nice latino american gentlemen brings me 12 pack and drives off on his forklift.  As i’m walking out I notice a trashcan full of beer related advertising stuff.  I look left, look right, and grab something.  It’s not a true toad journey unless something gets stolen.

In retrospect, i should have stayed home, designed a website or two, got paid like $300 for it, bought some expensive whiskey from the store that’s within walking distance.  Oh well, I think it worked out okay.

Rule #1: do not update about things you have done which may anger your girlfriend without calling her first.

Okay, yesterday Swede pasted me a forum post from disco productions, a forum in new orleans for "electronic music parties", etc.  A girl in new orleans who is working for voodoofest, which was in new orleans and will now be in Memphis made a thread. 

 She needs a place to stay because the festival isn’t provoding hotels for people working the festival.

I think, well shit, i have a couch.  A pink couch, in my kitchen, but still a couch.   She might be able get me VIP tickets.  What do i have to lose to ask her?  It’s always good to help people, right?  Anyway I email her and try to explain who i am, offer her the couch.

She messages me on aim the next day and is curious to how i found her post.  I try to explain that i don’t post on the board but have many friends on the forum that would most likely vouch for my couch.

 She makes the thread and of course, all my new orleans friends are like "omg toad lol yeah he owns".  Well not really, but they don’t say i’m a serial killer.

So we’re talking on aim and i’m already making huge social mistakes.  She asks if i live alone, yup.  Oh, my girlfriend who lives with me on the weekends.  Will she be okay with this?

 I respond "Depends on how cute you are".

Oh well, hopefully this story will end in toad giving trent reznor a crackhore koozie at voodoofest and not "25 year old webdesigner found dead of stab wound, valerie wanted for questioning".

 update: valerie doesn’t seem to angry for me inviting random internet people to my house.  Or she’s acting okay and will kill me in the next few weeks.

Rule #1: do not update about things you have done which may anger your girlfriend without calling her first.

Okay, yesterday Swede pasted me a forum post from disco productions, a forum in new orleans for "electronic music parties", etc.  A girl in new orleans who is working for voodoofest, which was in new orleans and will now be in Memphis.  She needs a place to stay because the festival isn’t provoding hotels for people working the festival.

I think, well shit, i have a couch.  A pink couch, in my kitchen, but still a couch.   She might be able get me VIP tickets.  What do i have to lose to ask her?  It’s always good to help people anyway, right?  Anyway I email her and try to explain who i am, offer her the couch.

She messages me on aim the next day and is curious to how i found her post.  I try to explain that i don’t post on the board but have many friends on the forum that would most likely vouch for me.  She makes the thread and of course, all my new orleans friends are like "omg toad lol yeah he owns".  Well not really, but they don’t say i’m a serial killer.

So we’re talking on aim and i’m already making huge social mistakes.  She asks if i live alone, yup.  Oh, my girlfriend who lives with me on the weekends.  Will she be okay with this? 

 I respond "Depends on how cute you are".

Oh well, hopefully this story will end in toad giving trent reznor a crackhore koozie at voodoofest and not "25 year old webdesigner found dead of stab wound, valerie wanted for questioning".

Rule #1: do not update about things you have done which may anger your girlfriend without calling her first.

Okay, yesterday Swede pasted me a forum post from disco productions, a forum in new orleans for "electronic music parties", etc.  A girl in new orleans who is working for voodoofest, which was in new orleans and will now be in Memphis.  She needs a place to stay because the festival isn’t provoding hotels for people working the festival.

I think, well shit, i have a couch.  A pink couch, in my kitchen, but still a couch.   She might be able get me VIP tickets.  What do i have to lose to ask her?  It’s always good to help people anyway, right?  Anyway I email her and try to explain who i am, offer her the couch.

She messages me on aim the next day and is curious to how i found her post.  I try to explain that i don’t post on the board but have many friends on the forum that would most likely vouch for me.  She makes the thread and of course, all my new orleans friends are like "omg toad lol yeah he owns".  Well not really, but they don’t say i’m a serial killer.

So we’re talking on aim and i’m already making huge social mistakes.  She asks if i live alone, yup.  Oh, my girlfriend who lives with me on the weekends.  Will she be okay with this? 

 I respond "Depends on how cute you are".

Oh well, hopefully this story will end in toad giving trent reznor a crackhore koozie at voodoofest and not "25 year old webdesigner found dead of stab wound, valerie wanted for questioning".

yeah so.

just in case you don’t know.  listening to portishead for 2-3 days in a row will cause suicide.

i don’t really consider myself a expert on music or depression.  i have my reasons why i’m sad but whatever.  just saying, this is some dark shit.  my resume of depressing music goes back pretty far.  *slides paper over*