Month: November 2007

i’ll beat a website down with a aluminum bad.

so it’s 8:30 on sunday. last night was tool. peter and christy came in town. it was amazing. everything this weekend was magical. that’s pretty much all i can say. tool was insane, their shows are consistently getting better with each tour. jambi was great, flood was great, rosetta stoned was fucking incredible.

we all went to port of call before and had cheeseburgers. we has them. if you had asked me that day if i could take them to any restaurant in new orleans, i would have said port of call. kelly drives us to handsome willy’s where we buy a beer or two. i’m drinking jager in the middle of the street out of kelly’s trunk…really shouldn’t have been smoking outside…anyway

after the show we went drinking. i don’t remember a large part of this obviously. we stop at the quarter master for one last meal. if you’ve never been to the quarter master on bourbon street then you’re missing out. this place is heaven. liquor, beer and food. 24 hours a day. and i’m not talking some poboys or fried chicken or whatever. this is real food. i love their bbq chicken. i almost came while eating the left overs a minute ago.

we got home and i break out the shot glasses and the bottle of jager. many shots were taken. i was honestly pretty hammered by the end of the night. poor kelly was pretty much sober. she told me today that i was telling her i want her to have my children.

i really don’t know what to say about kelly anymore. it’s hit me that i’m going to be with her for a while. we’re both kinda preparing for it. i’m actually surprised i haven’t scared her away. i hate to feel like im bragging about her but i just don’t care…peter and christy said they had never seen me like this…

time for another beer and back to bed. i for once can say i am totally happy with my life. things have really worked out for the good. i feel like everything bad that’s happened to me in my past has been forgiven. finally got a good hand for a change and hopefully i won’t show my cards.

kelly sent this to me today. i asked her if she was a good shot.

could you imagine chilling in bed with your new chick when you hear your trailer door kicked open. omg it’s Kimberly Davis and…holy fuck she’s got a fucking meat cleaver!

your new hot girlfriend reaches under the pillow and pulls out a 22 and caps the crazy ex girlfriend while you curl up in the fetal position next to her. the smoke clears and you embrace, pulling her close to you as she screams at the ex girlfriend on the floor that “this is her man now”
i’m going to jerk off

last night while having some strange ass dream involving limos and cocaine, my new pillow slid out from under me and flew into my nightstand. the empty pint glass luckily didn’t break but the almost full bottle of abita did.

marla was drinking it this morning. going to have to get out the mop 🙁

i bought these new serta pillows from overstock a few weeks ago. they’re really dope but combined with my silk sheets, they’ve turned into these crazy slumber rockets.

i’m telling you, drop what you are doing and order a set of silk sheets tho. your life is not complete without them. it’s one of those things that i always heard about but never pursued. like good writing.

i was sitting here watching kelly send a email from my computer in my computer room. it hit me that at moment how great things were. i’m holding on by my mad skillz at the office while everyone else is getting fired. i’m dating this amazingly hot girl who has stuff published on a regular basis.

i ran 3 miles in 22 minutes thursday.

i have a kegerator.

my life has reached a peak. things can only go downhill from here.

saints game today, probably gonna get stabbed outside of finn’s after writing this update.

so i’ve been holding off on really writing about the recent developments in my personal life. part of me doesn’t want to jinx it.

so the last few months i’ve been emailing this girl at work. just drop dead gorgeous, way out of my league on several levels. it’s fun because i can talk to her like a person and not someone i’m thinking about dating. she’s got a boyfriend, we work together, so many reasons. it started out mostly me just bitching about my love life but i always kept it way out of bounds of sexual harassment. i’m terrified of my advances making a “uncomfortable workplace” situation so i keep well within “we’re just friends”.

so a few weeks ago she’s telling me about how she’s thinking about leaving her current b/f. I’m curious cuz she doesn’t really speak too much about that area. She tells me a little bit about him, what he’s done recently that has finally made her realize she can do better. I carefully lay “yeah you could seriously do better then that, i don’t mean me, just better”.

After she breaks up with him our correspondence gets more frequent. I’m still convinced at this point, especially based on what i knew about her ex, that i have no chance. I’m normally a pretty good judge of women in this regard. A woman knows immediately if she’s going to sleep with a guy and i’ve gotten fairly good at reading that expression.

anyway.

i was just on the phone with her and i’ve decided to tell the full story. we ended up going out on halloween. and you saw how i looked in that dress. things happen. we both call in sick for work the next day within 15 minutes of each other. i ask her if this was a one time thing or if she’s really curious to see where this could go. she looks at me and answers instantly she wants to see what it’s like to date me.
things are funny at work the next day. i can finally look her in the eye and not turn away in fear of holding a gaze too long. we do very well at not walking too close to each other…touch hands in the elevator, thats it. no one has any idea. it feels like they do but they don’t.
we’re both breaking the ultimate rule. you never date at work. neither of us care. we both decided it’s worth it.
now it starts out with me being totally in love with her for months at a time and she’s never really even thought about it. it takes a few days and i realize i have to give this time. she starts reading crackhore, learning more about me then i probably want her to know.

it’s been over a week now. she came over the other night after i had taken my unisom and was drinking makers mark. she had to listen to me tell her the hundreds of reasons why she shouldn’t date me or even sleep with me. she doesn’t care…
i’m terrified i’m going to fuck this up with her. i really gotta figure out how to hide this dark side of doubt and self hatred. i’ve let it out a few times and she’s been okay with it but even i’m sick of it.
keep reading. this is just getting started.

so i order 4 things from overstock.com. back when i had that regular paycheck i used to buy things to fill the void in my life. and bored.

anyway.

i get a email from them with the tracking numbers. everything is coming on different days and even from different carriers. fedex, ups, dhl and then ups again.

this is why we are losing the war on terror. stuff on overstock is usually pretty cheap so they can’t be making up shipping costs. those fedex, ups and dhl vans are expensive to fill up.

overstock is probably only making like 25 cents off the bookcase i ordered.

jeff sent me this. not really safe for work but wow.

🙁

well, friday we either get a thumbs up or thumbs down…will probably be freelance toad again by 08 and i’m okay with it.

i’m getting really burnt out on this life and it’s time for a change. i got all bunch of shit, nice comfortable bed, a kegerator and i’m going out with the hottest girl i’ve ever met.

it was fun. it’ll look good on my resume, god forbid i ever want to work in a office environment again.

i saw this coming for about a month. it’s time to start cleaning out the cubicle.

so in 2008, i’ll be running the business full time. I’m going to move to uptown and be amongst people again. My jail term is over.

basically they are going to keep me on as long as i can keep myself busy. this might be 2 weeks, this might be a month. either way i’m leaving in january.

the real question is what do i do next…full time web design or should i take the time to do something a little more rewarding and less money.

i had the most memorable Halloween. i decided to break out the red dress and picked up a hat at the walgreens. i got a lot of looks.

Now you can say what you want about me being gay but you should have seen this woman that picked me up. For the rest of my life i’m going to remember both of us laughing while i try to figure out the fine art of taking off a dress drunk.

I don’t usually kiss and tell. Well, yeah i kinda do but she was from out of town and won’t read this.  Anyway, pics 🙂