god it’s been hectic lately…i actually got drunk and wrote on my company’s “blog” site last night while drunk… that i’m actually really enjoying writing on it…crackhore is tough to write about it because it’s about my personal life…
sweet, sour times by portishead just loaded up…that’s dope timing, here we go…
life is hurting, time besides myself hurts…just ignore the thoughts, guilt is there because you have screwed up on as many levels as you’ve allowed yourself…just apologize and try to move on…
oh well…i keep telling myself, this isn’t the first girl you’ve fallen in love with, who’s heart you’ve broken and this isn’t the first time you average a $45 nightly tab. it’s comforting to think that you’ve done this before, much worse and not as well.
anyway, lets keep this upbeat. i got my ticket for mars volta tonight. ftw. i was rubbing it on my dick on the bus ride home. so excited. i can’t wait. it was so weird sitting on the bus, feeling the ticket in my pocket thinking about how just truly excited i was. i know they don’t usually put on a great live show, i mean i don’t know that because i haven’t seen them so i’m excited….
yeah let’s see what else….sunday night after my guests left i went out to have a few drinks, brought marla with me since dogs can go to bars here…we hangout for a while at our bar and end up in a car, go to some chick’s apartment, then to another bar. at one point i look at marla, who is riding in the back seat of the explorer we’re riding and say “yeah this is a little more of a walk then both of us expected”
and she nodded.
after tonight and talking to some people, it seemed like marla dragged me face down on magazine home. good dog.
today was long…jackie knocked on my door at 9am…i crashed after working until 3…the maids come at 9:15…jackie and toad working while the maids clean…i find a can of beer in my fridge…gotta love life…the maids finish, jackie and i get a little more work done, i shower and get ready to meet the cpa…
we meet anne at juan’s, i swallow 2 pbrs with lunch…cpa makes me realize i am a fuck up in life and i want to die…jackie leaves and anne and i go to riverridge….we go through the accounts receivables which always makes me mad…i want to stab everyone who owes for more then 90 days…i let them slide…more flies with honey, more flies with honey…
i meet the guy with the mars volta ticket at cooter brown’s…. i wait for a half an hour with my $4.75 beer…i didn’t even give her the 25 cents…fuck you and your stupid riverridge bar…hate everyone in here….nothing wrong with the bar, just filled with people that just…anyway
he recognizes me immediately and we exchange money for ticket and i leave…lizzy calls me, she says my maids used the last of her detergent…yeah i’ll get you some…i go to rite aide and get some…walking home i see people emptying out a apartment, dragging stuff to the curb for the universe to take.
i ask and they say sure…i grab a nice lamp and a weird little metal bookshelf. i carry it about a mile and a half home…in a collared shirt with my laptop bag, etc…i really wanted that lamp…
i got some looks honestly…i dress pretty well for meetings, now i’m carrying this big lamp and a bookshelf, and a laptop bag…i even pass a cop car…she glances up and ignores it…yeah it’s just weird, not illegal.
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