deebs ownage

5:22 AM 7/17/2008
welp ive managed to wake up in time and make it to the airport. i left kelly’s apartment at 4am, awoken to the “barking dogs” ring tone which i have now am in complete love with, as well as kelly. when i woke up i knocked over a box of crayons and a flashlight, quickly destroying the “i won’t make a sound when i leave” promise i made last night. i quickly poured what’s left of my wine into a to-go cup and called the white fleet taxi service. dude rolls up and i’m going through the wonderful and secure TSA checkpoints.

i quickly realize this is going to be a very sober morning…my flask is hopefully still in my carry on but i got 3 flights before my arrival and that’s a long time without alcohol or anything. the first thing i did when i got here is open my pill jar and examine what supplies i have. there is nothing better then eating a handful of pills in front of strangers and then slouching in your chair, putting on the ipod and taking out the ipod.

anyway, deebs has no idea i’m on the way (hopefully), a surprise orchestrated by his wife (who ive coordinated all of this via myspace, random aim messages and text messages). this shall surely be a great birthday surprise if i can make the 3 flights…

this is really becoming a pretty big test of what happens to the nola office when i leave my people in charge and what happens when i go 4-5 hours without a fucking drink…the terrorists have truly won…last adventure i had like this i was drinking a 40 of high life on the plane which i snuck through security without any problems.  the lady at the gate says ziploc makes a bag now that is TSA approved. that is so bad ass…here ya go citizen, this is the proper bag, put your liquids in here and you’ll have no problems…such a crock…i would slit my wrists for a drink right now….all i have is my ipod, laptop, notepad and toothpicks…

i’m watching 2 overweight middle aged women who look like they are from the midwest…they are both clutching their sprite bottles and sweaters, nervously talking to themselves. it’s interesting watching their mouths move while lane stanley asking what’s my drug of choice…i just got a icey cold stare when i reached into my 7 day pill container, take out a handful of multicolored vitamins and other medications and eat them with a big smile…i wish i could be overweight and happy like they are but instead i’ll eat my pills.

i have 2 layovers, both of which have nothing to do with laying around. they are delicate orchestras, more like a ballet, of me stumbling and laughing to the next gate, boarding pass in my mouth….i am really excited about spending way too much money on buying a expensive drink on the plane as well…it could cost $20 and i have to jerk off the air “waitress” but i’d fucking do it, smile and ask for a facial. cuz thats how we roll down in the dirty south…or something…anyway…

i’m a little worried about my medication supply for the trip…lots of mild anti anxiety pills but very lorazpam, especially since i just took 2 of um to get me through the next few hours of airport hell. i’m going to go ask how much a beer is at the airport coffee stand. will update this on the plane or at next layover. if my plane doesn’t crash 😉