Camping Diaster 2003

We buy our beer at the America Store gas station, which i thought was kinda funny since it was a pseudo Arab behind the counter. I was amused that a gas station in MS sold blunts, scales and just about anything else you'd need to do drugs.

We get to the camp ground, unpack all the shit, and start drinking. The sun goes down, Andy and Dave's friend Sam shows up, more drinking. Suddenly the sky darkens and the rain comes down. We stumble around, drunk and high, desperately trying to assemble our shanty town with a tarp. It is severely hindered by toad's lack of soberiety.

Then came the mushrooms.

Nothing like a head full of domestic beer and shrooms out in the middle of the woods to get you thinking. Andy added more and more to my paranoia telling me that “Angry Tiki” was going to come out of the woods and get me.

We sat by the roaring fire, listening to music and having a relatively peaceful time when we realize we don't have enough wood to make it through the night.

Im terrified by the idea of the warmth and love of the fire going out. Sam and Dave leave to find the ranger to see if we can buy more wood. The return empty handed. We start foraging for dry wood to keep the fire going. This is a lot harder because of the drugs.

Finally we decide that the best course of action is to try to shear the broken limbs off the trees near by. This works fairly well, pulling down 1-2 limbs and adding to the fire until the rope that we have Dave's boots on gets wrapped up on a branch about 20 feet in the air.

Not win.

I finally stumble back to my car after dispersing Seroquel to all those who want to go to sleep. I climb into my car since i was too fucked up to setup a sleeping bag/tent and slam my door. This is when my driver side window shatters, spraying glass all over a very surprised and very tripping toad. The irony of this is if i would have spent the $70 to get the track on my window fixed. Now i have to replace the window and probably need to get some counseling after the broken glass scared the shit out of me.

Not win again.

I fall asleep wondering who im going to have to blow to get enough money to fix my window.

I wake up the next morning, curse my window and watch Andy and Dave throw a Mountain Dew bottle at the boots, still caught in the tree. I suggest they tie the rope to the truck and break the shoelace that's caught the boots. It works.

The moral of this story. If something is broken, fix it, immediately. Beg, borrow or blow to get the money cuz it'll eventually get you in the end.

Functioning Potheads, Unite!

I was coming home from a meeting today in my normal fashion, packing a bowl while leaving their parking lot with the one hitter in my mouth. I pull up to a stop light, furiously pack a bowl while looking to the left and right when i hear the truck next to me honk. I ignore it, shift into 2nd and then stop at the next stop light.

This time i’m right next to the truck, pipe in mouth, smoke pouring from sun roof when i hear the truck honk again. I start to wonder if i have a flat tire and i look up to make eye contact with the guy when i see he has a identical one hitter in his mouth.

We kinda toast one another, i shake my head and say to myself that that’s probably going on the site and go about my way.

grenades

Then like 20 minutes later and 15 miles away, a seperate shooting happened, where there were 4 people found dead in a house, one that looked self inflicted. Fox keeps repeating that the shootings arn't related.

It's 2am and i don't have a tv so i don't know if the cop is dead or what happened at the totally seperate crime scene. Now the Memphis media is having a lot of trouble explaining to bleating public that there are 2 different totally unrelated(at midnight, who knows now) murders in memphis.

Now if you dont live in memphis your like “okay weird, 2 totally different multiple victim situations at once, no big deal”.

This is also being peppered with the 3rd story, the 7yr old who was molested and dumped across the street from the place she lived.

I was kinda afraid to leave andy's apartment.

We drink our belly's full, buy a 6 pack of 6oz Budweiser cans Andy calls “grenades” and we drive around, drinking a can, rolling down window/sunroof, throwing it at a car/church/etc and yelling.

The picture is a picture of a squashed bug that holly killed and smeared on her scanner for me.

It's going on the site.

That bug is how i feel right now. Fucking budweiser.

woops :(

okay it’s 5am but i have to mention this. was drinking tonight at everyone’s favorite cop bar, playing ian’s playstation. the only game he brings with him is grand theft auto.

picture this, 4 beers into the evening, driving a stolen cop car, running people over, killing cops, and screaming “haha get in my way now, pigs”, stopping, turning towards the off duty, and wondering if they heard it.