Dunno what happened to the picture, took several….stupid beer…stupid muscle relaxers…i think that night ended at 6:30 the next morning, driving home from…*shudder* Printers, riding with my roommate who is screaming things at joggers as we pass them on the way home.
Ugh, worst part was that was a Tuesday morning…
Thats why almost everything i do, all day long, is just to tire me out so i can go back to bed. Sleep, mmmm, i smile just thinking about it. Like everyone can relate, one more hit of the snooze bar, a few more minutes in perfect bliss, numb to everything, ego completely absent.
I laid in bed this morning thinking that everyone i know enjoys sleep more then they really suspect. Those same people also are probably as terrified of death as anyone. It seems so confusing….how can you be afraid of something as wonderful as sleep? Such a paradox…
My only real fear is that i have to waste away in a hospital, full of tubes and drugs. Well the drugs sounds okay. Yup, once it looks terminal, give me a few weeks of supplies and drop me off in a pretty forrest. I'll die, some animals will eat my corpse and that's that.
since my redesign and confusing layout, im sure i have the lowest viewers ever. i guess since this is the slow decline of my site, i’d like to give my own eulogy.
if that’s okay with all of you.
hmm, crackhore.com started so long ago, my little outlet to rant and rave. So many drunk drives home, so many drunk updates, who would have ever throught we’d get this far?
i think i’ve gotten to the autumn of my years. i imagine the tears of my family as they stand around my little jar of ashes..
whoa anyway. I have a Dell poweredge 1650 laying on my pink couch right now. Just chilling, waiting to be all up on it. The adventure which lead me to the server must be told. Unless you close the window.
Which you’re not.
Yet.
Anyway, i acquired a webserver from a random web hosting company from memphis. If i come off with being vague then you’re feeling it correctly. It was shady from the start, going in, asking for a server, talking to someone on your cell while talking to someone in real life, it all finally making sense and you walking out with a computer under one arm. It’s hard to explain that you want one specific computer in one specific rack to someone who is thinking “who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you want one of the computers in our server room?”
I finally get out into the parking lot, huge, heavy Dell server under one arm, stuff it in the back of my car and drive slowly back home.
Trading work for webservers.
Since the whole deal was legit we started thinking about what i should have done, since the whole time i looked awfully “kevin mitnick, give me your dell cuz i said so”.
Cullen said i should have made sure everything was legit, get a few feet from the door, start laughing then break into full sprint and run out the door laughing.
I keep thinking, how awesome it would be to pull pranks on people in the computer business wearing chemical biohazard suits picking up servers or dressing up like uniformed police officers and trying to barge into some random ISP’s server room.
Maybe in the next update.
go over to my new friend dave’s house. he has a bar, fully stocked with liquor, hands me some shrooms and a pipe full of dank and said “catch up man”
The vodka i found in the bar and the Faygo i mixed with it helped me catch up immediately. Vodka, Faygo and mushroom. I’m still having trouble typing and it’s only been 48 hours.
Andy Geroge and I leave dave’s place, go to the onion. We are both hallicunating heavily, things are moving, im focusing on my own ego to keep from blowing up into a million pieces and falling on floor making a sucking motion.
I explain how wireless 802.11 access points work using napkins, matches, a beer bottle and 4 beer matts
i am the navigator. put your hand in mine and come with me
god i get a phone call from market solutions in florida. They ask me if they can ask me a few questions about my banking and financial planning. It being 6pm and already on my 2nd drink, i exclaim “sure!”
I alt tab to winamp, load up The Beautiful People and put it on repeat. He starts asking me yes or no questions about what banks i think of when i think of investing, etc. I answer yes and no very quickly, almost as if i wasn’t thinking about the question!
I then grab the bong and start taking bong hits against the phone. Huge coughs, Manson still screaming, i yell “HEY DOOD, U WANNA HIT THIS?” and then say back to the phone “oh hey sorry man, what’d you say again?”
The Manson gets turned up louder, more bong hits, paying less and less attention to my new friend who is really intrested in if i have any IRA’s.
He finally hangs up when i go into a 3 minute coughing fit. 🙁
haha last night andy george noticed the crackhore shirts in the back of my car. He asks if he can have one, i sigh and give him one and tell him he owes me $10 for it.
Later that night when i pick him up to head to the bar, he’s blazing his new crackhore shirt proudly. We roll in, order our drinks and sit down with Wes and Alex already there and Andy George starts doing tequila shots.
I could almost see the headlines now, andy george running down Cooper naked cept for a crackhore shirt stained in blood.
Anyway, by the end of the night, Andy George sells 2 crackhore.com shirts for me, including 1 to the guy playing guitar in the band, and gave god knows how much publicity with his antics in the full bar last night.
hmm gave a crackhore.com shirt to andy george about 3 hours ago…he’s already sold 2 shirts and has committed to not taking the shirt off until he sells at least 12….buy that shit now, it’s about to be out the door
it’s 4:15am..fuck all of you
hmm well, as hectic as life has gotten, updates sucking more and more…today was bill day…pay rent, pay mlgw, pay timewarner.
the 3 companies that own my life, here’s your fuckin money.
drank a beer on the way to the grocery store, asked the girl at the piggly wiggly if she had aim, she said no, drove home. Theres nothing more fucked up then getting out of a car, finishing your beer, throwing it against the car next to you and walking inside. im going to get in another fight.
went and peeped on mah nigga cullen, drank a few beers there and came home. hmmm…go to bed or drink more…..
the true test in life is saying no…
Impearljam: haha
Impearljam: oh man
scoutMASTERtoad: sup
Impearljam: i went to this ghetto shopping mall underground
Impearljam: in phili
Impearljam: and there was a radio shack, so i walk in
Impearljam: i see this computer with internet access
scoutMASTERtoad: ………..
Impearljam: i was tempted to put up goatse or something
scoutMASTERtoad: haha
scoutMASTERtoad: just leave aim up on it
Impearljam: but they had this protectioin thing
scoutMASTERtoad: with your name signed on
Impearljam: and i couldnt go anywhere
scoutMASTERtoad: 🙁
Impearljam: but i found a away around it somehow..and i set crackhore.com as their default thing when they open IE, i also left it up, just as this little chinese boy came over and looked up at me, then the screen, then back at me
Impearljam: i just nodded really slowly and then walked away
scoutMASTERtoad: omg
scoutMASTERtoad: hahahaha nice
Impearljam: yeah
scoutMASTERtoad: gotta update my site now