not gay, but definetely not masculine

i bought a usb keychain drive the other day. Except i had already took it out of the package when i realized it’s either a) the most poorly designed electronic device i’ve ever purchased or b) the most homosexual


Now let me explain, you can see in the above pic that it obviously can be worn on a keychain. Except the important part, the usb part, doesn’t have the loop on it. The useless top does. So this is going to get lost on a long enough timeline.

What really bothered me was after i opened it, i noticed it had this little nylon strap. I’m sitting in my car, completely by myself and say “there is no way i’m wearing a usb drive around my neck”. For some reason, the keychain is okay.

Now i fucking like computers and shit. I crawl from my bed to my computers and then crawl back to bed most every day. But i do not want a fucking usb drive chilling on my chest. If i saw a girl wearing one around her neck, it’s perfectly fine, and a little hot.

I just can’t do it tho. I was talking to Allen the other night, who also agreed that no male should wear a usb around their neck. I proposed the idea of not using the gay nylon strap that came with it, and instead go to Home Depot and get some pretty hardcore looking chain. He said it would only attract more attention to it when you were taking your shirt off.

Can you imagine finally getting some girl in bed and when she sees you stripping your shirt off, starts laughing cuz you’re a dork and are wearing a usb drive. I mean if she was blonde enough you might be able to convince her it’s your “power amulet” and you use it to fight evil. That’s stretching it.

Wow i thought i’d feel better about this terrible purchase after sharing it with all of you but now i feel like i just tripped over a shoe lace in front of the entire internet.


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