suicide is the answer

People have been asking me whats been going on lately. I honestly don’t want to update because i’m feeling some serious guilt. Something about not having Valerie and this constant drinking….just has turned me into something i used to be or don’t want to be or shouldn’t be.

Scott’s wedding was beautiful………the pictures really kinda sum it up but it was really amazing. I’m so happy for both them and hope i didn’t do anything too bad at his wedding……

Here comes confession time. Caryn took me out after the wedding time and we apparently went to neils and the full moon club. I wish i could remember anything. I don’t even remember going to the car…….I saw her thursday night and she said “we’ll talk about what i said to her later”.

Awesome.

Life is totally fucked. I live in a overpriced apartment in a shit hole city that only reminds me of girl that loved me more then anyone else. I’m also still missing my car since my insurance company gave me a fraction of what my car was worth. We also have no idea what valerie is saying about me to anyone who will listen….all we have is the internet.

I need to move

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