I woke up this morning, alone when i heard the sound of my front door opening. This is a pretty regular thing since 3-4 people have keys to my apartment. It’s tarrance. He’s been drinking. I put on some tori and start the morning routine. Time to check email…..something from Keith in florida….

 He says bill naja killed himself friday. shot himself in front of his mother.

It’s so trite to write about shit like this on something like this but it helps. I wasn’t a great friend of Bill’s….i first met him when i lived in L.A. way back in the day. I saw Bill when i went to florida about a year ago. We went out drinking, he let me drive his car home. That’s love. Letting my drunk ass drive your dope ass car.

Well Bill, since it was suicide i figure shit must have really sucked. Sucked more then anything. I dunno. I hate when someone dies and people try to figure out what happens. You gotta focus on the fact that they are gone, the circumstances are almost irrelevant. Now i’m talking a case by case situation. i still wanna know happened on 9/11. Anyway, think thats the bloody mary talking.

Well Bill, if you can read this,  sup. A lot of people are probably tlaking shit about you killing yourself, talking about how it’s selfish, etc. Fuck them. It was your life and you decided to close the window. It’s no one’s choice but your own. It’s the only freedom we have. Except terri schavio.

Can’t believe Bill is gone. I think about killing myself on a daily basis but i hope i never do it. I always think things will get better. Things might suck now but it might be the best it’s ever been.

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