Month: July 2006

“icing :(”

Wes and i went out drinking last night and ended up wanting to get some food about 2am. We call the Deli to order a pizza and the girl is like “you know the chef’s are gonna be pissed, we’re about to close” but they take the order anyway.

We walk in and on the to go counter there is our pizza but theres also 5 to go boxes. The girl that works there is all stressed out cuz someone ordered 4 orders of hot wings and a order of cheese fries. They’re about to close so Wes offers her $10 for the food. She goes and asks her boss and comes back and says sure.

So we’re walking down Young with all this food like “wow this is like thanksgiving!”. Get home, chow down, and crack open a case of beer. From now on 7/16 is hotwings and beer day. New crackhore holiday.

Dmitry: Hello. You have successfully connected to your technical services operator. Please wait one moment while I verify and review your information.
Dmitry: Please provide me with some more details on your issue
scoutmastertoad: 🙁
Anthony: Hello scoutmastertoad! Please hold on for a moment I\’ll check your domain and issue.
scoutmastertoad: we have been having problems for almost a week now, the site is back up but the email is still erroring out
Anthony: COuld you please tell me what errors you have and what email addresses.
scoutmastertoad: all of the email addresses on XXXX.COM get the error
scoutmastertoad: Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

melissa@xxxx.com

—– Original message —–
Anthony: OK, one moment please.
Anthony: COuld you please tell me if you\’re a VMS owner.
scoutmastertoad: urd
scoutmastertoad: yes
Anthony: OK, one more question. You receive mail when you send or receive mail? And do you use any mail client?
scoutmastertoad: it\’s when i email the XXXX.COM domain
scoutmastertoad: thats the error i recieve
Anthony: OK, please hold on one more moment I\’ll check further.
Anthony: OK, it appears, that your domain is not in sendmail. I have to create a ticket to add your domain to sendmail file.
scoutmastertoad: thank you
Anthony: Your case number is 1161362. WE\’ll contact you as soon as add domain to send mail file.
scoutmastertoad: how will you be contacting me?
Anthony: We\’ll send you email to jesus@crackhore.com?
scoutmastertoad: 🙁 okay
Anthony: Is that ok?
scoutmastertoad: can you see how many tickets ive had open on this website 🙁
Anthony: Let me check.
Anthony: You now have 3 opened. And 2! regarding sendmail.
scoutmastertoad: im going to cut XXXX.COM into my chest with a broken beer bottle 🙁
scoutmastertoad: thanks for your help tho
Anthony: Your domain will be put into sendmail once DNS propagation takes place.
Anthony: It was a pleasure speaking with you today. Thank you for using our Web Hosting CHAT Technical Support Center. If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact us again. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Have a nice day!

just say no to alcohol, kids

so awesome

so many of you saw me in a not so great place last night.

look.

everyone pukes sometimes.

this is what happens when you drink all day and don’t eat. what you saw spewing from my lips was pure alcohol and you and i both know it.

i woke up this morning, turned my camera almost puked. i hope someone saved my magic marker cuz im covered in all kinds of writing

anyway, congrats mary and erichole. i seriously almost cried 2-3 times yesterday, just so fucking sweet. i think i was the best usher ever, since mary’s brother, the other usher was afk for most of the most important part of being a usher. i seriously walked in every single hot girl there. i gotta give him credit tho, he came through when i needed him. i gave him a sign for when valerie got there so he could walk her to her table and avoid me just pointing at a chair and yelling sit.

to mary and eric’s family, i hope you’re not reading this, but i really appreciate the alcohol and food you provided for this wedding.

really appreciate it. *winks*

other really hilarious moments:

mary is throwing the garter into the crowd and i take off the jacket of my tux, stretching my arms, getting psyched up. it’s just me and a really really tall black dude. i look at him and say “you don’t have shit on me, player” and shove him. he lols and shoves me back. which of course deserves another shove from me. we’re knocking each other up like we’re about to go for a rebound when finally some other people show up and the crowd stops laughing.

he still gets it. i didn’t even jump.

i don’t want to get married until tori is ready.

or unconscious in my trunk

in all seriousness, as if this site ever did that, it was really a honor. like normally unless you’re related of fucking someone in the wedding party, you’re not in it.

i havn’t fucked eric in months.

saw mary naked once but that doesn’t really equalify me to be in the wedding.

or maybe it did.

ive never been in a wedding before and i really appreciate and give respect that you bought the tux’s for everyone. the lady at the men’s warehouse was like “yah thats the way people used to it but now a days most folks gotta pay for it themselves”.

the rehearsal dinner was also amazing. i ordered the filet(sorry, shit isn’t cheap but i just can’t say no 🙁 ). it tasted like if you pulled jesus from the cross, grilled him and set him next to a side of mashed potatoes. brad and i were almost both killed on the interstate on the way there so the drinks on you was also very sexy. drinks on all of us. this almost kinda fucks with me cuz i know my wedding isn’t going to be nearly this classy.

you’re all getting 40’s and hotwings for my wedding rehearsal dinner and this shit is going to be held in the park and im not even paying monsignor watkins to perform the ceremony.

well it’s time to get ready for mary and eric’s wedding. i really hope i don’t fuck your wedding up. i had a great nightmare that i knocked over a candle and the whole place went up in flames. i’ve only had one beer so i have my balance and tact that everyone loves.

this is going to be a long few day. after the photographer takes the pre wedding pics, we have the wedding, we have the reception with a keg of amberbock, then we have the after reception party which the keg of amberbock is also going to. then tomorrow afternoon we’re all meeting at john’s house for a super late after party?

i am going to be the image hungover on monday.
to everyone who has msged me the last few days:

i’ve been afk, stop taking it personally. the world does not revolve around you. i am also aware that aim has a away message system but i’m usually running so late for whatever event or bar i’m going to that i don’t have time to write something witty for you.

anyway, time to go shower off the sin, brush my teeth so eric’s poor mother doesn’t have to smell beer and drugs on my breath. i’d also like to make a apology in advance for whatever might happen today, tonight and tomorrow.

lets just get it out of the way now 🙁

ignore the grammer here, this is worth it…well, it is for me.

im kinda stressed out about mary and eric. they both touched my ass more tonight then they ever have. i hope this isn’t a “lets touch toad’s ass one more time before we’re married and we can’t touch it anymore”. I doubt their wedding is going to affect my anal activitiy but tonight they were just so over the top about my butt that i have to worry.

It is my nature.

Tonight at sidestreet i was carrying myself with a unknown and strange feeling. I usually dress like someone who asks you for money at the gas station. I sometimes put on my slave clothes, the ones i put on to make white people think im a good white person that makes websites. I was talking to two beautiful women, at once.
It was like aim in real life.
The full moon club was mostly a blur. Just remember seeing my poor ex everywhere i went. No one understands that it doesn’t bother me anymore. I sometimes get over things. Just needs enough drinking and cutting.

Anyway.

So i went to pick up my suit today at the men’s wearhouse on poplar. This is a adventure in my car…err go-cart…..i get there and park, leaving the keys in the ignition. I walk in and ask one of the random rednecks standing there signing stuff and processing his shit. This is verbatim, in perfect call center leetness, “excuse me sir, could you watch my car for maybe 4-5 minutes while i put this tux on?”.

He asks me which one is mine, walk about 2 feet,  point at the primer black death trap and say “it’s the one that looks like if turned it off it might not start”. They laugh. So do i.

I try on my tux, i am sexy as fuck. I like a little hand in my blowjob, fyi ladies *wink*

I walk out of the men’s warehouse, which name is still stressing me out, give the guy watching Max, the running car, for watching it so i didn’t have to turn it off. I feel like i owe him something so i give him $2 and say buy a beer on me. He’s obviously really off but obviously drinks and loves this and takes the money. I grab my tux and roll out.

The ride home was long and boring.

I went out and drank at sidestreet and the full moon club. The pics speak for themselves. I talked to so many wonderful people. So many newcastle, so much jager, so many boobs. Apologies all around for um..everything. Props to Wes for taking me home…it would have been a long walk, Laura and Lauran for um, listening.

Everyone at sidestreet. I am really jesus, seriously.